My mind has turned against me
where malicious thoughts arise
in the deepest depths of my mind

My heart drowns amongst the poison
of fermented hope that one day was
oh, how did I become so withdrawn

My life feels stranded, frozen in place
'cause the world is slowly escaping me
won't you please save me from myself

"I have a book"
"I have a book with pages within its covers,

I wrote your life on this page,
Each one of you were only ever a one,
Never more, never less,
I scribed upon it your
Birth,
Life,
Death
Was inevitable in that moment, I took
Notes before I wrote this,
Homework was needed as I feed
Myself into your life.

"Hi I'm Paul,

It was but a step to let myself in,
A friend is trusted upon time, let close
To life's
Moment*
Beginning
Breath
That I took wasn't mine, but written on
This dried page, red was the colour
That was used, still warm from
Your depleted carcass, no longer life.
You were one of a few blessed
Into eternity's words
No room for error as only one page you had,
Perfection inked on this dried page.

"I have a book"
"I have a book with pages within its covers,

I will write this till the book is full,
And though many fill this carcass of death,
They live on in the brief descriptions of their
Birth,
Life,
Passing
They are recorded in red ink, the blood of
Life now ceased flows on this page,
I am writing a book of memoires
Of live birthed, life lived and then death.

"I licked the pages,
"I know its wrong,
"But they where salty like cracking pork,

You will be immortal in these pages,
But first is you last breath, can you see
What I'm doing keeping your mundane
Life breathing within the pages.
Your flesh is the page, your blood the ink
That tells the story beginning, middle, and your death.

Whisper's* into the pitch, unseen breath but no one is there,
She giggles and calls her dad silly,
Its just her imaginary friend.
A seat taken told by eyes so small, questions
Of who sat earlier as the imprint left, and
To the touch heat still bleeds outs on the palm.
Invisible,
Cloaked,
Unseen
To those  not of innocence eyes,
For youth is pliable easy to twist to the
Will of those moulding there sight.

"We played hide the breath,

Daddy was sleeping as you climbed on top,
Held his breath.
Contorting,
Grasping,
Panic
In his eyes, till breath found as you let go.
We ran into the bedroom giggling at our fun,
daddy was silent in the morning,

"Father was no fun,

"Morning precious,

I smiled as the breakfast fell on the floor,
He looked confused as I laughed out loud,

"Daddy,

"What my little lady,

"Was it fun not to breath,
"To suffocate as if in a dream,

He didn't speak, all colour left his face
Was it something I said??
A man came around,
He was all in black, with a white collar,
She didn't like him,
She hated this man as he spoke words
I didn't no, didn't understand,
My friend screamed, but only I heard.

"Daddy stop it, your hurting my friend,
"She's crying,
"Daddy,
"Daddy,
"Daddy,  

"This is for the best, your friend isn't nice,

And as never there, like a shadow seeing the light
She was gone, and all alone I was again.

"Thank you father,

"That wasn't his dad, granddad doesn't look like that,

We moved soon after that, to another new place,
In a block of homes, like a stack of rooms
That had doors,

"Hi there,

They smiled so many new friends, to play
So many to play our games upon,

"Who you talking to precious,

We had learnt our lessons from the last house.
Never tell, where would be the fun in that.

"Myself daddy,
"Just myself,

As he walked away, I looked into the hallway
Outside our door, so many new friends
Invisible to their eyes, but I was going to
Show the other children the fun, that they could
Now have, we would play with mothers fathers
See their faces as our friends played with their lives.