What makes me mad,
To see my dad,
Choose escape over me,
Next thing you know,
You see them go,
Smoking another tree.

Getting drunk,
Cause your life stunk,
So depression is the key,
To getting high,
To say goodbye,
To escape reality.

All in all,
I just stall,
And wait for the days to pass,
Multitudes,
That's a mood,
Until I finally crash.

But I am happy,
The world is sappy,
I hope I can escape,
Not through all the drugs,
Through laughter and hugs,
The truth is what I'll take.

Fake happiness fills the air,
Decide to take charge and care,
Of your reality day by day,
May joy and happiness come your way.

I'm grateful,
Something bad,
Like all the wisdom,
I never had.

I'm heedless,
No more time,
To make them understand,
Through the rhyme,

I'm heedless,
Blurt them out,
All the sacred teachings,
What their about:

God like a cancer grows.
Upon the thought of what he knows,
Above Nirvana yet below,
Wherever nothing tends to go.
A crying child in the snow,
A speeding car quickly slows,
A smiling woman in meadows,
The emotions I shall bestow.

Wake up with an empty mind,
Finding ways to pass the time,
Breakfast as I write my rhyme,
These days I feel sublime cuz,
I do what my father does,
Minus smoke and feel the buzz,
I hope I never do drugs,
I'll leave that to the thugs bro,
I'd rather practice judo,
No basket but I free throw,
While I practice my combo,
Ukemi and Kappo moves,
Just perfect technique will prove,
I'll continue to improve,
I have just decided you've,
Started feeling the groove and,
I want to start my own band,
I get lost in a dreamland,
Keep going cause nothing is planned,
The words appear on command,
Life stings like a strong backhand,
One that I can't withstand for,
My life I see upon shore,
Slowly sinking, no mentor,
All I have is my vigour,
No emotion or valour,
I left that at the back door,
Now my mind is at war with,
Itself and it's not empty,
There's no way to pass the time,
I'm throwing up spaghetti,
Thinking about future chimes,
The thoughts that make me sweaty,
Like reading between the lines,
Creates stuff that's too heavy,
.........
I'm not ready,
.........
I'm unsteady,
.........
But they keep nagging at me,
They think that they have the key,
Please open your eyes and see,
I've solved this reality,
Just like on giant puzzle,
That was just waiting to crack,
Blowing off my mouth muzzle,
Sorry, there's no holding back,
The future is rather scary,
The present is quite merry,
The past is gone,
.........
No need to look there,
Memories we share,
Really nothing rare,
Please just live on,
.........
No not on a prayer,
In the present where,
Some people will stare,
Into reality aware,
Feeling all the energy flare,
Into their good dreams or nightmares,
Pass the time,
I'm open,
Catch,
Then rewind,
The emotion,
Patch,
Like Broadway with one actor,
It is the prime factor,
He feeds himself very quick,
Gaining more weight wide and thick,
.........
I hope you can see what I'm desperately trying to say,
We do not live separately, but instead as one big play,
I open the gates to truth, now walk through the entryway,
Welcome to Gnosis, I hope you have a fantastic day.

Stuck in the future,
When I should be here,
Trying to nurture,
Never ending fear,
My parents,
My job,
All of my goals,
My merits,
I'm robbed,
Then pay the toll,
I wanna play piano or create my own twitch crew,
When it comes to my life I have no idea what to do,
I want to press some buttons, play chords, and maybe strum strings,
A musician, a speedrunner, and many other things,
It takes five whole minutes for these words to come to me,
I want rhythm and rhyme to come more naturally.

I love you,
I just don't know how to show it,
Just one chance,
I really don't want to blow it,
Every time,
I hang out with you,
I just think,
****, she's just too cute,
When you're here,
In my house and nowhere beside me,
That's when we're,
Sharing a missed opportunity,
Sometimes I'm mad at myself,
Because I can't express my love,
I want you and no one else,
Forever just raising above,
Things that will try to hold us back,
But going at a comfortable pace,
So the relationship won't crack.
.........
Honestly, love pains me,
And I don't know why,
I'm removing debris,
From my love-blind eyes,
Honestly, love fills me with joy,
And makes my love for you more intense,
Let's just be a girl and a boy,
Who can create love,
And can show the love,
At our own dispense,
Honestly, I just want you to be happy,
That's the biggest goal,
I am depressed when you're feeling unhappy,
Sadness will parch you,
Happiness feeds the soul.

I'm not hungry, I'm hurting,
This isn't nonsense I'm spurting,
Eye contact is averting,
My body is reverting back,
Into my organic shell,
When they begin to scream and yell,
I must've went off and fell,
Down the deep hole that leads to hell,
Where demons tend to dwell and,
All of the events smell fishy,
You're either high or tipsy,
You go from itchy to dizzy,
Couldn't see you were tricky,
The atmosphere is Misty or,
I just won't open my eyes,
If I do then I'll see some guys,
That stab me and hear my cries,
Then I wake as my ego dies,
I can see through your lies now,
Now my vision is all clear up,
Please stop, just slow down, hold up,
There's no need for you to speed up,
At this pace you will blow up,
You're too far ahead, back up, stop,
My girl don't dance to my bop,
But she is one I cannot drop,
Although my love is nonstop,
I can't direct it to a spot,
Love is the root of my depression,
Creates joy as well as aggression,
Mainly sadness because suppression,
Of having a physical session,
Definitely to my discretion,
Obviously there's no possession,
I need love to be my expression,
If my body is the impression,
Then all my heart is in secession,
This will be my final confession,
Though might be beyond comprehension.

I have never known how to make a happy poem,
I wear my sad cap over my depression dome,
So all I blurt out is sad crap all day,
But now I am trying to change my ways,
Talking about sunshine, rainbows, and cats,
Unicorns dancing with big funny hats,
Canines, children, religion, and some good music,
Dolphins orchestrating fish that are acoustic,
Dr. Seuss knew how to do this poem right,
He brought forth the day and banished the night,
So I'll stop talking about dark ravens of fear,
My brain is powered by depression gears,
So I stop using my head and use my heart instead,
I will continue poems until this body is dead,
In everything I do, the best I strive to be,
I'll be this way for the rest of my life, you'll see.

Met them with no tears,
But I need to see them more,
First time in ten years,
We're all broken to the core,
That makes four of us,
We have to stick together,
That's just it, we must,
We need to make things better,
I love them deeply,
And it's always been that way,
Couldn't see freely,
Just one hundred miles away,
They say the past is in the past,
But the past can not be erased,
That's why I wear this mental cast,
And swallow this metallic taste.

I figured out why I have depression,
I figured this is what I should mention,
I get depressed when others feel down,
Whether they're yellow, white, red, or brown,
I feel as if I need to make them happy,
When I'm around them I start to feel sappy,
Even if they cover up with fake emotion,
I still show them my special kind of devotion,
There is only three things I should've said,
That come from everything I sweat and bled,
I love you,

Love,
Oh, It's a funny thing,
That makes my stomach ache,
And makes my heart sing,
And makes me feel like a peasant,
And sometimes a king,
It can be pleasant,
And it can sting,
It's a present,
It's a blessing,
But when I'm not present with the present,
Then i feel i tripped a string,
Like leaving heaven which has no pleasance,
Like messing with a wedding ring.

Oh, I was thinking about killing myself,
Do you mind,
And putting my feelings up on a shelf,
And your blind,
When it comes to literally anyone else,
Let's rewind,
Back to before my heart would regularly melt,
I was fine,
But what's different from what I feel and I felt,
It's bout' time,
I unlock my brain and see what's locked in the vault,
It's not my fault,
But I need to blame someone for this mental assault.

So I'm pulled to the broken,
Because the fixed are just fine,
When these words are spoken,
My mental health declines,
Now I think I'm approaching,
The end of the line.

When the hug has lost all feeling,
When the kiss has lost all touch,
When 'I Love You' lost all meaning,
When emotions are just too much,
When the smile is clearly broken,
When the laugh is clearly fake,
Please accept my devotion,
Before you actually break.

You want to feel,
You cut yourself,
You want to taste,
You drink alcohol,
You want to hear,
You listen to yelling,
You want to see,
You watch ****,
You don't want to feel,
You leave with drugs,
You don't want to taste,
You starve yourself,
You don't want to hear,
You yell back,
You don't want to see,
You sleep.

You want to feel,
You experience human warmth,
You want to taste,
You kiss the one you love,
You want to see,
You look into their eyes,
You want to hear,
Sweet nothings.