They say one's life is supposed to flash before one's eyes prior to the moment of death.

When I go, I hope I have time to get to the part where we met...

I wanna fall in love with you all over again.

I have touched a thousand times
but I know when I feel your love
you are the only one to ever touch me
in this way I've never felt before.
To be yours
I'll give up who I've been and who I was
for who you are
and who I will become.
You surrender to me your strength
and are as gentle as a dove
I am your fragile flower
and you protect me with all your love.
I will always bring you up
and cherish you for the man you are
and the man that you will become,
I will be the foundation
for what you build
until thy kingdom come.
I will always be yours
and you forever mine.
Together til the end of time.
in this love called: love
my knight and king,
your flower queen
together we'll conquer the world
just you and me.

It hangs in the air. It’s stifling. We carry it in our hearts. It’s heavy.
We grieve the missing pieces, but also the empty spaces they belong to.
The parts of ourselves with muscle memories that no longer have a purpose. Parts of ourselves that become inaccessible, and try as we might, we can never enter that space again.

How do you hold a hand that isn’t there?

They say that relationships don't work endless you love yourself-
that you can't love someone if your not happy alone.  

That may be a problem-
but then why do I love my hands when your hands hold them?
or my legs when they are entangled in yours?
or my cheeks when you kiss them?
or my smile when you laugh?

is that close enough?
to love myself with you...
or are we doomed?

she smiled at me
"we can't do this anymore"
the curtains were drawn
we were left as neglected fetuses
i began cutting my strings one by one
her touch haunted me in my sleep
after tasting the bitter morning
my pale hands delved into my chest
past transgressions reveal yourself
the night came after orange withdrawal
she returned with a silent kiss
we stepped into styrofoam
her passiveness was almost comforting
we shared apricots and drew red lines
into each others' skin.
the peachy morning sun rose
and it all came up in tears
i vomited on my white sheets
in disgust of myself

In the cold, dark
        of January,
         I remembered
              you
        the most.
  As the chill
      snapped bones
              like branches,
     as the afternoons
   bathed themselves
in gray,
     as the birds
and the backs
      shook,
so did my lips
   around your name.
I'm so happy
     January is almost
over now.