Don't lock the doors my child
nor the windows tonight
I like to watch you sleep
Drown you deep
Under your bed,
my private revelry
your Tears and Fears,
I wear as jewelry
Your angel is dead
In your head,
I pull the strings that make you cry
make you scream 'till your mouth runs dry
Smother your lips with my lies
Creating a wound
To feed the flies
I am your beautiful monster
creeping into your skin
in your slumber
I'll keep you safe in this nightmare.



-Your Angel Is Dead, Margaret Austin Go

we are sometimes lucky enough to know people who illuminate our skies like the northern lights

we appreciate them even when we don't show it
and love them even with our fists slammed into the wall.

we do not have to be broken hearted.
we are so conditioned to believe that it is the people who love us that will hurt us most,
which in turn,
distorts our meaning of love into pain.

they say the only way to reverse this idea is to forgive, but
forgiveness is a tricky thing
and if we don't learn when to use it for others and when to use it for ourselves,
we will end up alone.

but people like me aren't afraid of being alone.

and you should know,
that i don't spare the lives of those who hurt me.
and even if you lay breathing tonight,
by morning,
you'll wish you were dead.

We are all dead.
We are born with one goal: to die.
Waiting to cease completely.
Remember to turn off the light.
Try to go peacefully.
Make sure they spell your name right.
We, none of us get out of this try as we might.

If I stood in our doorway
   With the light against my back
          Would you answer me a question
              If I gathered the courage to ask?

If I whispered to these four blank walls
Of how Time scared me more than death
Would you laugh at me in pale moonlight
As I draw ragged breath

                                   "That stuff kills you!" They all say
But by then they've failed to listen
           The hands are broken, the clock tipped over
*But I still hear it ticking!

And there she is. The reason for this altar. Decorating it just like Jesus in his cross. Her eyes open, looking down on me in an empty stare. Her body naked, clean, and pure, posing in front of a glowing, golden ring hanging from the ceiling. It is decorated with prayers, written in an ancient, secret, almost demonic, language. She is motionless, voiceless, lifeless.


   She was playing a part in the latest short film from a famed, young director. Her part was that of a shy, frightened girl in an abusive relationship, who wanted to end it before he ended her. In the script was written that she'd die by his hand. A passional crime comitted while she slept. Her life ended by a knife, still sticking out of the back of her lifeless body when it was found by her, now terrified, roommate.
   She had had a few other acting roles before this one, but this was the one that could launch her career. Sadly it would never come to be.
   When the time came to film the "discovery of the body" scene, the cast wasn't so sure about the story ending with the death of the protagonist. They felt it was too extreme for the message they were trying to share. They talked to the director, trying to change the death of the girl into nothing more than a violent fight between the couple. After much thought, the director agrees to change the script.
   But no one can change the script of fate.
   Once the script was re-written, ready to be filmed, the whole cast was called in to do so, but something was amiss. The lead actress hadn't come. Her answering machine had over 78 unheard messages. Her inbox full of unread e-mails titled Where are you?!.

  
   No one would know anything about her again. No one but me.