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 Dec 2016
SabreLi
As I look into your eyes
I see a flame that I know will never die
And even though there will be times
That I'll look into your eyes
And I'll wish you were alive
I know I will be strong
And I know I'll carry on
'Cause inside I see a flame that will never die

Although we didn't always talk
I know you were watching like a hawk
That if I ever needed you
You'd appear out the blue
And though you never needed me
You always saw the best in me

You stood by my side when no one else would,
Saw what was inside; saw all of the good
I can’t believe that you’re gone
How am I supposed to move on?

When I look into your eyes
And see that flame that I know will never die
I remember all those times
That I looked into your eyes
And I wished you were alive
I know I will be strong
And I know I'll carry on
'Cause inside I see that flame that will never die

We didn't always see eye to eye
But I know on you I could rely
We used to be the best of friends
I hope that feeling never ends
The memories I have are thermal
I'll miss you in your rest eternal

You stood by my side when no one else would,
Saw what was inside; saw all of the good
I can’t believe that you’re gone
How am I supposed to move on?

I still look into your eyes
And I still see that flame inside
And even though there are some times
That I look into your eyes
And I wish you were alive
I know that I'll be strong
And I know I'll carry on
'Cause deep inside I know that flame will never die

Copyright © 2008-2017 KF
Written about loss of a loved one, who I see every day when I look in the mirror at my own reflection.
“Oh I’m so sorry, you look just like that guy’s daughter…”
But I’m not.
I’m just the daughter of a dead man.
And I feel it too.
You might be sorry sir
but you are not as sorry as I am,
that’s for sure.
 Dec 2016
Victor Timmons
Today I watch your eyes fade to black
Today I listen to your final whispered silence
Today I feel your body sleep it's final rest
Today I loved you as your peace came
Today I release your soul to be young again
Today I set your spirit free to run joyfully again
Today I will be strong for you
Today I will cry for you
Today I will smile for you
Today I will remember you
Today I put the end in a box and gave you the gift

Written by Victor Timmons 12/5/2016
Understanding we all have a end does not ease the pain. Love you Jake. See you in that big dog park someday.
 Dec 2016
SabreLi
I stand nearby at the Guardian's gate
And realize there's no escape
No choice left but to stand and wait
I look on…
I hear them whisper as they pass me by
Each one staring from the corner of their eye
"Yes I was wrong, it was no lie"
‘He' has won.

So much beauty, I see no flaws
A place of rest for those indoors
While I get punished for my disbelief,
I stare on…
I cling to the false comfort of emptiness
Knowing that anything could be better than this
Was I not created to be free?
‘He' has won.

If I was not supposed to question
Then why did you give me free will?
If I was to learn every lesson
Why is it so easy to sin?
If you wanted me to believe
Then why were you never there for me?
Why didn't you give me something in which I could confide
Instead of all these fairy tales which I just can't abide?

So there is a life after you die;
If they have one, then so do I
Determination comes from my desperation
I push on…
I turn around to begin my search
Feeling sorrow, feeling hurt
Consolation comes from my condemnation
I push on…
If this is ‘Heaven' and I was wrong,
Then I know where I belong

Copyright © 2008-2017 KF
Written from the viewpoint that maybe I'm wrong about the opinions of organised religion.
 Dec 2016
Eleanor Rigby
What has life made of me?
Where has life taken me?

This body has never been mine, nor will this mind ever be.

There is a terrific sadness in every time
I look in the mirror and pretend to smile.

Dear Adam,
I have missed the spring and I am coming to you soon
The eyes that flicker, the stories behind the eyelids
The heart that ***** in the air
Like a flightless bird that dreams to fly.
Make sure you open up those heavy arms of yours
Make of my thin body your prisoner
Forever
See me for the second time,
Look at me as if it was the first time.

Adam, the ground has never been mine to walk upon
This Earth is selfish, she wants us all
But I am weary, just like you.
Everywhere I look, I find wrinkles
Old objects full of dust
Young people full of lust
Golden hearts full of rust.

Adam, I have been reeking of desolation
Since the day I died
Right there on grass that has never been greener
Under a sun that has never shone brighter
Since I died
Of longing
I have been reeking of desperation
If it wasn't for the books you left me,
If it wasn't for this letter today
If it wasn't for the hope of finding you again
I would have long turned into a portrait
Copied off of a portrait of a portrait
Of a portrait someone painted off the back of their mind
Intelligible and faint.

Adam, the lines on my palms are fading
Drip by drip
The water in me is adding up
And drowning what life has left of me
Poor little soul, good for nothing but the sadness

Adam, I wish I was sad like you
But I am not sad
I am bored,
Like a writer that never learned to write
A painter without paints
A mermaid on land
I am bored like the zoo.

I am coming to you soon.
But I know you're not there.

Goodbye summer and everything that's as clear
I will miss you my dear.


-- Watercolour
 Dec 2016
SabreLi
We had it made, we had it all
Nothing could come in between us until the siren called
I heard her warning, saw the signs
But she poisoned you against me and filled your head with lies

While you stood by and ignored my pleas I continued to fight
But little by little she stole you from me just like a thief in the night

Her tempest of temptation broke through your floodgates
And drinking her seduction made you forget your mistakes
So I can understand
Why you’d want to hold her hand
But the crutch you think is temporary has her own demands

I saw her coming from miles off
It was as if in slow motion but it wasn’t slow enough
Like ships in the night we capsized
As she sabotaged the lighthouse and led us to our demise

Before long she stood upon our wreckage as we had lost the fight
She stole you away despite my objections just like a thief in the night

Her tempest of temptation broke through your floodgates
And drinking her seduction made you forget your mistakes
So I can understand
Why you’d want to hold her hand
But the crutch you think is temporary has her own demands

Temptation does not relent
To be satisfied with her loot does not make her content
She’ll take it all; your dying breath
And you will give it blindly not knowing she is death

Copyright ©2016-2017 KF
Written about a couple of people very close to me who came to rely on alcohol too much and eventually succumbed to its effects.
 Dec 2016
17th
i'll never stop thinking about you
and probably i'll never stop wanting you
for most of the times
i will forgive myself
for wanting to be so close to you
but why is it a bad thing?
why can't I be with you?
the fact that I love you and I want to be with you
doesn't mean that I hate life
they've told us
they've told us
i know we would be together
sooner if they've let me
but its a fact
i'll be dead

*and probably happier than now
 Dec 2016
Kirsten Lovely
Now I lay me down to sleep
I want for nothing more than to bury thoughts deep
Escape the wretches the day has brought
The wars, the sadness, the world has wrought
If I pass away in peaceful sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake
No more days should I have to ache
For this world has kept me far too long
It is time to hear my mellow swan song
If my soul is pure enough before morning wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
The four corners to my bed,
Surround me with the utmost dread
I know there is nothing left for me
My soul is nothing more than a sad story
I'm sorry for whatever path my carriers must tread, to the
Four angels round my head;
Who should know that, in life, from my troubles I fled
A noble life is not one that I chose
But I'm ready for an ending, for angels, I suppose
One to watch and one to pray
So they will carry out my day
I will never see the morning light
I planned for dying on this night,
These angels will keep my suffering at bay, thankfully, there is
Two to bear my heavy soul away.
from that old children's nighttime prayer.
 Dec 2016
Kirsten Lovely
You are not condemned
To the confines of life
Nor the sounds of being locked in
And hit by dirt
You do not belong
To the flowers they send
The wishes they write
Or the tree they plant in your name
You are not prisoner
To a shallow grave
And a shallower gravestone
Not even to the duties you left behind
You have not been claimed
By the years you will not see
The tears you cannot dry
Or the hugs you cannot return
You are not captive
To the sounds and words
That defined you
Or the way people shaped you
Because you are free from condemnation
From the clutch of sickness
Free to leave and wipe the tears
And hug the ones that hesitate
To throw the dirt over the years
You are free from prison,
From proclamation,
From captivity and condemnation
To help and to inspire
And to free others from a prison
Of grief.
To Christopher Carney and family. May a battle as hard as this never touch your lives again.
Rest in peace, Mr. Carney.
Beloved teacher and friend
1968 (I'm unsure of the date- February 20th, 2014
 Dec 2016
SabreLi
The day is here, my time has come,
I feel myself growing numb
How I longed then for the gift of expression
I look above but see no sky,
I look below and there I lie
Caught in this moment of deep admiration
Like most things from the past
I’ve learned it will not last

I hear my name and look around,
My friend walks in, I have been found
It’s times like this your best memories emerge
"Do not fret" I say from near,
I look at him, he does not hear
Why now is there no meaning to words?
Absorbed in tears, he sinks below;
"I wish you well, I have to go"

My last breath escapes from me
And I am gone –
For now at least

"Although I’m gone, my dear friend,
I’ll be with you until the end…"
I now find the words I needed before
But like most things, it came too late,
This life is done, my next awaits
Still unaware what I was here for
"We’ve been so close; I know you well;
There is so much I want to tell…"

Now I can see, I’m not blind any more
There’s a light ahead, I’ve opened the door
"I’m so close to peace, so close to calm,
So close to never feeling harm…"
I hear them calling, it is my time;
Do not fret, we’ll both be fine
I’ll wait for you on judgement day,
Although for you that’s far away,
Now I leave you, I say goodbye;
Do not worry, do not cry"

My last breath escapes from me
And I am gone –
Eternally.

Copyright © 2008-2017 KF
Written at a difficult time I was going through; imagining the reaction of a friend who would be left behind if I took rash action helped to ground me and to put things back into perspective.
 Dec 2016
SabreLi
How things change; I’m not a little child any more
No need for someone to hold my hand
To shield me from the truth
No more reins – I’m all grown up for sure
Now I’m ready to understand
The bitter feuds of my youth

Lately we’ve gotten so close
I feel like I’m losing the one I love most
How can it still hurt so much?
We’d only just got back in touch
And I’m losing you again

They say lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice
You and I know that’s not true
I’ve already lost you before, that’s not luck of the dice
You shouldn’t have to say goodbye more than once

I won’t make it back in time
But that doesn’t change the way I feel inside
Wherever you are now you’re fine
It’s so hard to grasp all the time that went by
Look at it this way; it’s better late than never
We’re not so far apart, I’m just south of Heaven

How things change; you’re not there any more
You won’t be there to hold my hand
To shield me from the dark
No more reins – you’ve moved on from here for sure
Now I must understand
It’s okay to be apart

I’m just coming to terms with the thought
That of all the battles you’ve fought
This one finally defeated you
It wasn’t fair the way it treated you
And now I’m losing you again

They say lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice
You and I know that’s not true
I’ve already lost you before, that’s not luck of the dice
You shouldn’t have to say goodbye more than once

I won’t make it back in time
But that doesn’t change the way I feel inside
Wherever you are now you’re fine
It’s so hard to grasp all the time that slipped by
Look at it this way; it's better late than never
We’re not so far apart, I’m just south of Heaven.

Copyright © 2016 SabreLi
Written after the loss of a family member who I hadn't had much contact with prior.
 Dec 2016
SabreLi
I had no idea
Until it happened, how much pain I’d feel
Each and every day
I think about you, ‘bout what I would say
If I got another chance
But chance ain’t on my side
And no matter how hard I try
I just can’t get you off my mind

I keep trying to be a bigger person
It’s not working, inside I just keep hurting

And through your rose tinted glasses
You may think that the grass is
Greener on the other side
And so you say goodbye
Think it’s your time to fly

But colour doesn’t always mean
Beauty, hope and evergreen
So I cannot let you go
And the harder you pull
The harder I will hold

If I could turn back time
I’d do whatever that would save your life
I’d stay by your side
Remove the pain and tears from your eyes
If I got another chance
But chance ain’t on my side
And no matter how hard I try
I just can’t get you off my mind

I keep trying to be a bigger person
It’s not working, inside I just keep hurting

And through your rose tinted glasses
You may think that the grass is
Greener on the other side
And so you say goodbye
Think it’s your time to fly

But colour doesn’t always mean
Beauty, hope and evergreen
So I cannot let you go
And the harder you pull
The harder I will hold

All I feel is guilt
Stuck in the shadow of the hole you built
Wish that you were still
Around me but I know you’ve grown your wings
You won’t get another chance
Cause chance has left your side
And no matter how hard I try
All that’s left is to say goodbye

Copyright ©2016-2017 KF
Written after the loss of a friend who died by their own hand.
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