At long last I can feel a cool breeze
     "I can breath again"
No need to cower, I'm off of my knees
     "I can stand again"
There on the horizon beams a bright light
     "I can see again"
Shining out hope in my darkest night
     "I can dream again"
A steady beacon to sail towards
     "I can raise my sails again"
In life's music I once again hear the cords
     "I can dance again"
Feel with in my chest, this shattered heart beating
     "I'm alive again"
I washed up on a new shore, a new beginning
     "I have hope again"



Please treat me gently, treat me kind
For a scared little rabbit is what you'll find
That's lived life way to long in that ******  hole
I was thrown down there so long ago
But my love comes with no possibility of pain
For what's been done to me, I could never do the same

October 16th
We lost one of the best people
I ever saw.
My beautiful, sweet, dear
Mother-In-Law.
She loved her children
She introduced them to God.
Constantly smiling
Even though her life was so hard.
"Blood Of Jesus"
Was her favorite thing to say.
She probably said it
100 times a day.
She loved The Lord
She was spiritually touched.
He loved her too
That's why he blessed her so much.
God gave her the Cadillac
That she coveted so.
She shared her blessings with everyone
She never said no.
She gave & gave
Even to people who did her wrong.
Revenge was not in her nature
Because her faith was so strong.
She loved to talk
She always had something to say.
She kept it real with all
Man that woman didn't play.
She was the rock of her family
Her strength kept me in awe.
She was her family's monarch
She was perfect, no flaws.
She was my "California Mommy"
It's so hard being without her.
There's not an hour, minute or second
That I don't think about her.
I know she's in Heaven
Turning Heaven out.
The Lord is happy she's there
I believe that, no doubt.
I look up for her
I hope she's looking down on me.
I want her to know what her loss
Has done to her family.
Her daughter who used to
Always have a smile on her face
Now has sadness in her eyes
& her smile's been replaced
With a slight little frown
Because she misses her Mom
I don't think she gotten over the fact
That her Mother is gone.
We all grieve
In our own little way.
I thought it would get easier
With each passing day.
It hasn't for her daughter
She watched her Mom's health deteriorate.
But her Mom fought to the end
Because her will was so great.
I miss her so much
But I know she's in a better place.
The mark she left in our lives
Could never be erased.
October 16th is a day
That'll stay on my mind.
That's the day
My Mother-In-Law went to Heaven
& left us behind.
I know she's watching over us
I know this for a fact.
There's nothing in the world
I wouldn't do to have her back.
*
I Love You Mother-In-Law
2/3/1956-10/16/2014

i love you, i do
but i am just too broken
for someone like you

I've been treading water, trying not to drown
But I'm afraid, I'm finally going down
The waves are coming faster
And of self control I am no master
Should I hold my breath as I plunge
Or breath in the water and quickly this life expunge
I keep my eyes open as I am sinking
But I can't keep from blinking
When a colorful fish swims by
Then turned around and looked me in the eye
What he had to say gave me chills
"Why don't you just grow gills
We all must change and adapt
Or none of us would live through life's crap"
Wise words from a fish's lips
And if I survive, I'll never again eat fish and chips

Somewhere between lost and found
I let it all burn to the ground
Standing in the present, with hope for tomorrow
Glancing back at yesterday's sorrow

No more whispers no more shouts
I have no regrets and I have no doubt
That someday the truth will ring out
Then what will happen to those lies you spout

What will happen then to that acid love you spew
Will you finally get what your due
I  doubt it
For this wicked world your a perfect fit

Your as poisonous as a viper
Or a Black Widow spider
Spit your vile words any where but in my direction
Your not welcome here, if I haven't mentioned

I took some pills to pass the time
Don't you worry they were mine
I took some pills to pass the day
I wanted black, was tired of the gray
I took some pills to pass away
Please dear friend don't be in dismay
I took some pills to go to the void
Don't look up what would be said by Freud
I took some pills, the deal is done
Please don't bother yourself to come
I took some pills, now I'm floating away
You'll have to look for me another day

Hide in plain sight
Hold back the tears
Thru all of the years
Hide all of your scars
And all of your flaws
Don't let them know
Keep it under control
Stand straight and tall
Like there was never a fall
Don't run away in fright
Hide in plain sight!!!!

We are the hollow men stuffed with straw
Dancing around on this great big ball
The ball just keeps on turning
We just keep on whirling
Dancing in our madness
Of a world full of sadness
The dance goes on, we spin and twirl
Till our rages have come unfurled
We come unstuffed, we fall
Right off this ****** hellish ball

My Demons are telling me it's ok to quit
For this putrid life my minds not fit
To their voice I'm going to submit
It will be fast, just one quick slit
Then my spirit will be free to emit
Out of this rotting soul it can split
To the next life I can then transmit
Maybe in the next one, my demons I can outwit

As Tinker Bell and Peter Pan showed it takes a happy hearts
Happy thoughts
To fly and zoom around
Thats why way down here in this bottomless pit is where I'll be found
It's always dark and sometimes scary
A anguished frozen heart is hard to carry
But that's ok, for the birds of prey
Would tear me apart anyway