I don't wish
for myself to die,
but I wish that
I was never born
I wouldn't die
after I'm broken,
but I'd be dead
before I'm torn

©

he was always misunderstood
no one tried to be with him for good
if you’d ask him what he likes
look at his eyes, notice the sparkling lights.

don’t leave when he says he wants to be alone
hear his voice, its sound, the tone
he was always misunderstood
hold his arms, hug him tight, i wish you could
because if i were you, i would.

i'm tearing at the seams
nothing seems-
real anymore. i'm going numb
i can't stop thinking about your tongue-
in my mouth and all i want to do
is run away from everyone, from the few-
that love me the most.
i've become a ghost
my paper thin
skin
is ripping
i'm tripping-
on my mistakes and regrets
lying to myself saying it's for the best
i want to go home
i say while i'm sitting at home
i want to go home
i want to go home
i want to go home
this is excruciating
it's hard differentiating-
between those who use you
and those who love you tru-
ly
the weight on my chest makes it hard to breathe
your arms around me is all i need
to hold the pieces of me together
we should be together
we should be together forever
i need to go
i need to go
i need you to know
i can't take this anymore
i don't want to be a *****
i'm done
i want to run
i'm so scared
my skin's been bared
and i'm screaming
forgive me for breathing
forgive me for polluting your world
i'm so hurt
i miss you it hurts
my skin itches and burns
i wonder
i ponder
when i started falling
and when this hollowing-
pain begun in my empty heart
i want to go back to the start
i'm done with tearing my heart-
apart
i'm done with handing out bits of me
hoping they'll accept me for me
and then being met with
so much ****
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm so so sor-
ry. i'll go away now. i won't hurt you anymore.

i want to lie on my bed with you
listening to old records
with songs about love & throwing away your life
while your legs entangle mine
let’s numb our minds
and think about no further than today
i want to taste the magic on your lips
and feel the strength in your arms
let's just ****
& forget that we’re ****** up
big city kids from broken families
looking for love in all the wrong places
let’s just get wasted
& reclaim our place in the wastelands
exhale our pain
a purple haze
feed me the smoke
from your mouth
blow it into me
& i’ll blow you
i’ll pretend your electric eyes
are the solution to all my problems
and you can pretend
as if my mouth wrapped around you
is all you need in life
forget about the guts and the gore
forget about the half written suicide note
stuck to the backside of your bedside table
which you gave up writing because you realized
once you're gone, no one's going to give a ****
never have, never will
& the fact that last night, you cried yourself to sleep
because you knew your mother was two doors down, doing the exact same thing
we'll forget about the fact that we've got no path or direction
that we're going nowhere, and we're going nowhere fast
& that we're a mix of self-loathing and self-pity
we're sad kids
belonging to an even sadder generation
let's lose control
it's better than losing our minds
i'll pull your hair and cry out in pleasure
it's better than pulling my own and crying out in pain
i'd rather kiss your scars
than deal with my own
i'd rather let you bury your head in my chest
than admit that i'm itching to bury myself six feet under
i'd rather scream your name and beg you for more
than scream at the demons in my head & beg them to leave me alone
the drugs help
but you numb me better
pills are nice
but i'd rather have you in my mouth
i'm looking at the way you see right through me
and it makes me feel at home to be around someone as lost as i am
i see your broken nails and peeled skin
and i know we're cut from the same cloth
because that look in your sad eyes
is one my own know all too well
so let’s just listen to old records
with songs about regret & wasted time
& pretend as if we can’t relate to them
*not one little bit

dare not let those spiders out
dreams are cozy webs

Is to die to yourself
Be born of a soul
Live in these words
And never be quite whole

Just an opportunity
To fill an expanse
Never pass it up
Take every chance