I burn
My heart is ablaze
I bleed
My body howls with rage
I am empty
My soul died long ago
I am broken
But I still can't let you go...

This fire burns bright in me
Consumes me, every moment
It will take me
I will give in to this torment

And then I'll glow
Like liquid gold, purified
Sweet like caramel, tempered slow
Holy as the wine sanctified.*

And You will burn
Just burn.

a poem the way
I do
is to first turn
your heart
inside out

then
go a day
or two
with no
sleep

thinking
of
optional words
and rhymes
until

you pull your
hair out
and don't
take a bite
of food

the whole
******* time
and smoke ten
packs of
cigarettes

waste the day
your apartment
all filled
up with
crumpled paper

and beer cans
and butts
and your answering
machine
full

HAVING DREAM CATCHERS ABOVE MY BED
AND CONTINUING TO HAVE THESE NIGHT
TERRORS IS IRONY BECAUSE YOU ALMOST
******* CONVINCED ME THAT YOU WERE
THE EXTERMINATOR TO THOSE NIGHTMARES
BUT GOD, WAS I DEAD WRONG ABOUT YOU.
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE INSTRUMENTS TO
RECREATE ANYTHING GOOD IN MY DREAMS
ANYMORE. FRANKLY, ALL YOU ARE ANYMORE
IS THE TRIGGERS TO MY NIGHTMARES. THIS IS
WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN FORTUNES, TAROT
CARDS, SPIRITS, AND MUCH LESS, GOOD LUCK.
NO DREAM CATCHER CAN FULLY REMOVE THE
SCARS YOU'VE LEFT IMPRINTED IN MY MIND.

At times,
It may seem like an escape,
But in the actual sense,its nothing close to escaping..
It creates worse feelings,
Leaves loved ones depressed and confused,
And doesn't give your soul the rest it deserves upon leaving your body,
Suicide is never a solution,
Its a sign of weakness and hopelessness,
And we all reach that point,
But if we survived once,
We can always survive our difficulties..

For breakfast, I brought my self-loathing undisguised by bruised, hollow eyes and disquieted moaning,
all crunched up into the contours of your hard edges,
like thin-veined broken and browned, misused leaves orphaned from its parent.

My desperate limbs always reaching, wretched, to shoddy fill into the gaps that your self-confidence casual posture had formed on the floor;
empty-air spaces and pervasive shadow caverns I have claimed without verbal invite, promise or asylum.
No self-confidence to speak from, anguish and primal, seeking shelter;
pain entwined with pain making easy comfort in forgetting.

A soul disquieted;
there are pieces stripped straight down, pinned together in different places, unspun and uneven smears of paste that don't ease closed the obvious imperfections.
A harmful machination unexplained, fitted negligently back together,
the design with no catalyst to begin, untended and purposefully without purpose.
No comprehensible enrichment, selfish perversity plodding culmination,
almost complete.
Build, re-build; conspiracy laced with nonchalance; twisted person alchemy.

Any or Each of Many becoming
the godhead of a shallow, malcontented deception,
rudiment contortions to mangle, punish, ruin
an altruistic heart; a beaten wooden phoenix shaped from past wrongdoings and misery.
More burning away, combustion of reclaiming, bones and sinew steeped in the truth of the universe.

Unjustified and never the differentiation my heart once blamed, not good nor bad.
We, two souls alike in circumstance, circumference, cylindrical,
watching the world make more of us, clutching bird-like shoulders merged through a pale waning.
Existent time-limited victims of disappointed alliances,
made in the land entrenched in the business of making monsters who make monsters.

Something about anger,
tears apart my soul.
Progressively tightens my chest,
how can people be so cold?

Feel my lungs collapse,
under the weight of the hate.
Takes my heart and chains it down,
and these chains, I can't break.

Something about anger,
how it eats at my soul.
Turns bones into ashes,
turns the heart black as coal.

How I pity the man,
who turns love into hate.
He surrenders to evil,
his soul to take.

Something about anger,
makes me love even more.