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 3d
Kalliope
She sits with her silence,
Bound by her thoughts.
Life continues anyway,
But join in, she does not.

Though she would like to,
It takes time to decide,
And once she gets ready,
There’s no room in the ride.

So maybe she’ll start walking,
Or she’ll stay frozen in fear.
She wants to go somewhere else,
But she seems to be stuck here.

She’s found a doorway
Just a handful of times,
But every time she moves closer,
Further away it flies.

There must be a lesson
In this self-aware prison,
A continuous torturous cycle
From which she hasn’t risen.

Swirling and thrashing
In circular motions,
Part of her must like
Being breathless in the ocean.

Yet there’s a small part
On the left side of her brain
That hates this **** cycle,
The suffocation insane.

But she doesn’t control movement
And barely steers thoughts,
So here she goes again,
Busting down doors that should remain locked.

She’s scared to read new stories
With endings untold,
When all familiar tales
End predictably bitter and cold.

There’s bite to the freeze, though,
And pleasure in pain.
Echoes fill her mind’s chamber:
“Free us from these chains.”

No, she doesn’t need saving,
She’s working out the clues.
You say she’s isolating,
But it’s what she has to do.

So very easily distracted,
Hypnotized by honeyed words,
She falls in love so quickly,
Abandoning her puzzled curse.

And when it surely fizzles out,
She’s back here at square one,
A couple days of crashing out,
Erasing all the work she’s done.
Twenty seven years of this and it's surely lost it's fun
 Jul 14
Keegan
The nights are the hardest.
Not because of the dark,
but because of the loneliness.
That heavy silence
that reminds you
you only have yourself.

No one is coming to knock,
to ask how you’ve been,
to remind you you’re not alone.

What good is self-love
when it can’t pull you from the edge of your thoughts,
when it can’t wrap its arms around your chest
and tell you it’s okay to feel like this?
What good is it
when it just sits there quietly
while the loneliness hums louder?

What good is it
when it can’t make you feel less alone?

I don’t know how to fix it.

Some nights,
I have no thoughts
just the ache,
just the weight.
So I imagine.
I imagine a version of myself
who doesn’t feel this way.
I try to believe I can become them.

Some nights,
I just hold my own hand
because it’s the only one reaching.
Some nights,
I tell myself to breathe
and trust that it counts for something.

The truth is,
it hurts to need yourself
more than anyone else.
And lonelier still
when even that doesn’t soothe you.

But maybe,
somewhere beneath the ache,
this is what strength looks like:
to sit in the dark
and still choose to stay.

Even when it’s hard.
Especially then.
 Jul 11
abyss
It’s a curse —
or maybe it’s a blessing.
It’s not my place to judge —
I’d only be biased,
so I let you judge for me.
A cup filled with water,
add a little more and
it will overflow,
spill every which way.
I’m a cup, overflowing with love,
spilling in every direction,
sometimes landing in harsh hands,
promising eternity,
but those hands leave
once their thirst is quenched.
So I wait,
a full cup left untouched
in an empty castle,
hoping for a king.
Is it a curse,
believing in a throne
no one wants to sit on?
Going through phony princes,
pretending to be kings!
Is it a blessing,
to still hold this much love
and not let it rot —
or is it a curse?
Overflowing with feelings again.
This one came from that slow ache kind of love
where you give and give, and still wait for someone to see the throne you’ve built for them.
 Jul 11
Kalliope
I’m shaking, I’m breaking, I don’t know what to say,
I know I have faults, but you made me this way.
I grew you gardens, you smashed them to the ground,
Made me feel like I was horrible to be around.

You’d do anything for me, a knight at my heel,
But when I got comfortable, that’s when you got real.
Suit of armor discarded, no time to waste,
I must submit and forget freedom’s taste.

I can’t trust your kindness, it always feels fake,
Anxiety peaked, each smile feels like a mistake.
I tunneled out, broke away from your ground,
But you broke my mind, my thinking unsound.

If someone is kind, my heart starts to race,
Because kindness once ended with knuckles to my face.
Trust in this world is so hard to be found,
I’m trying to heal, but I’m being too loud.

Yet I don’t know any other way,
Than to scream my thoughts and even my pain.
It’s up and down, this chaos I’m feeling,
It’s bitterly exhausting—
But I guess that’s just healing.
I want off this rollercoaster ride
I want away from this unsteady tide
I hate feeling like this at night
I know, I know it'll be alright
I am never just me
I arrive with this body
that contains my soul
and along with it comes
A broken ugly shivering creature.

I take her everywhere with me
Feeding her unsettling aura
Cleaning the debris that falls off her
Combing through her matted hair
Dressing up her bruises and bandages
Apologizing for her smell of despair

I wonder if perhaps I left her home from time to time
Would she wail and wait at my door
For me to return, and then cling on once more
Or would she understand the unwanted  
Grief and pain she holds burdens me
and take her leave

I fear most days I let her walk through rooms first
Drifting after her, much like a ghost being forced to haunt

I am me
and she is her
for now.
Although
I wonder if it’s only her
people see
I am holding a love
with no destination.
It floods me without warning,
fills me with purpose,
With all the fire of arrival, and nothing waiting on the other side.

No, he is not
waiting at the gate.
He’s nowhere.
And this love,
it’s too vast for my body,
too loud for sleep,
too loyal
to walk away.

This grief,
this relentless, boundless
love was meant to land
in his heart.
Always.
Instead it circles inside me,
wings beating
against bone,
a bird
that can’t find
a place to perch.

I can’t destroy it.
I won’t.
It’s the last thing I have
that still knows
his shape.

But it’s heavy.
It trembles.
It begs for release.
And I am breaking
under the weight
of what cannot be given.
For a reading of this poem please follow my instagram: @incruable_poet
 Jul 8
Kalliope
I’m flipping cards and reading the room,
The sun has set, I’ve a meeting with the moon.
I’m begging her, please, take this part out of me,
The part that holds back until she gets up to leave.

I want to be open without all the hurt,
I want something real, something that works.
I daydream and plan and fantasize life a certain way,
But I want to accept it how it is today.

I want to believe the words from his lips,
But I think they’re poison, and I’m being tricked.
I spiral and spin and tornado a lot,
Trying to be brave, something I’m not.

It feels okay until everything is quiet,
Then all of my feelings join in a riot.
I just need a second or two to relax,
But I’m always on edge, and I can’t seem to step back.

Yet I don’t fall, just stand here and wait
For the wind to call or to decide my fate.
Just enough fear to keep me frozen in place,
Standing on a cliff in a purgatory daze.
A little too aware of everything at once
 Jul 6
abyss
Maslow said we need food, safety, love
But he never mentioned
how easily hunger becomes sin

Greedy little thing
It’s never just about money,
or fame, or power—
It’s that ache deep inside,
the need for more,
for something real

Greedy little thing
For childhood memories I didn’t have
Insecure in the constant movement
Years-old boots, worn out
Around me —
latest shoes, new jackets

The grass is always greener on the other side,
isn’t it?
I couldn’t go out,
so I made a home in my head.

Greedy little thing
For the love that never found me —
the kind I watched
but never felt.
For the affection I never got
“I’m proud of you,” “good job” —
words I didn’t hear

At some point,
love became pain as well
A pretty bruise
Here and there

Greedy little thing
The grass is always greener —
where you’re not
I always thought lust was my biggest sin until I was journaling one night and tafa!

My take on the 7 deadly sins. I might do the rest at some point.
The way my mind sputtered to a stop
“Know of him?” It screamed.
My hands warmed remembering
The way yours wrapped around mine.
So tender. So sweet.
I know him so much it hurts.
every time I catch a glimpse
of your hat whizzing past
my heart slams against my chest
angry at being held captive in her cavity
“It’s him you idiot, look!! it’s him!!!”
she yells with reckless abandonment
 Jul 1
Kalliope
I knew that I’d feel silly
After I had some sleep,
Because honestly, you haven’t cared for awhile-
You’ve got a new woman to keep.

I can see your game now,
You just wanted to feel tall,
And the easiest way to do that
Was to make me feel real small.

It’s fine now, it’s whatever,
I’ve wasted tears for over a month.
You could’ve just ******* blocked me
The moment you knew I wasn’t enough.

But that wouldn’t fit your narrative
Of crazy exes to collect,
Still, I hope you’ve done some healing
So you don’t peak her anxiety next.

Isn’t it so funny,
The way these things go?
Life is just a simulation-
Trust, I’m not in your loop anymore
I went against my intuition but I knew it weeks ago when I saw her name, you guys will laugh when you read this and I will never doubt my gut again
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