Where do I begin?
How can I say this in the softest, most harmless way possible?

This will be the hardest part, the honesty. No one likes the truth, but they demand that everyone be truthful for everything.

So, this is my disclaimer,
you may not like what I am about to say, but you should accept what is said,
because when you begged for the reality, I had no problem serving it to you on golden plates.

Just, please, if you’re going to throw up, do it where I cannot see you,
because, honestly, I do not care how this makes you feel.

You knew what could happen when you invited me to dinner.

-Chloe Aldecoa

One day, you will feel me
in ways you have never felt me before
The way you once touched my skin, never again
to the way you called me yours
you will feel me in the pit of my soul

Some day, you will understand all of me
in a brand new way that you never knew before
those sweet nothings you whispered,
they will turn to rocks
that I will make you run on in the burning heat
once you finally understand what it means to raise hell

and I cannot wait until the hour
that I can glare at you, and you at me
with such frigidness in my eyes

That  it will force you to question
why such a fiery wrath,
can burn in a heart so cold.

-Chloe Aldecoa

My words,
can look like poetry,
and still taste
of poison.

Your eyes,
can shine like stars,
and still burn
like flames.

My hands,
can feel feather soft,
and still
carry a knife.

Your words,
can comfort like a hug
and still manage to steal
all my blood.


- we volley between our love and our desire to hate each other, but I could never pick one, you have damaged me to never love you, but been there enough  so I can never hate you

-Chloe Aldecoa

It is unspeakable
Yet I find words in the darkest places of my memories
That leave my crevices torn.
The taste of deception in your breath is but a million concerns for me.

‘Could I ever?’ is but a question I incessantly pose myself with,
for the fear that one day I will never unearth an answer.

Why are you hiding?

This is not a test, and my lonesome ears are eavesdropping for a piece of your word.
These walls are thin but my heart is thickened flesh encompassed in veins that ship blood to the places that yearn to bleed at the thought of your voice.

I will not bleed.

I lay down face up and talk to Him. You, sinful warrior,
or worrier.
There’s a difference and you managed to scramble up these definitions into this conjured dictionary of menacing deeds and misconceptions.

You are fooling no one.

And I pray,
And I pray every evening until I can hear your words again
“I’m sorry,”

I wish I was.

-Chloe Aldecoa

Religion had locked me up in a closet
shrined with Adam and Eve
        Mary and Joseph.

Adam married Eve, my child,
Mary bewedded Joseph, my child.
Blessed be the day you crawl out of this closet
to be coveted by the golden halo God has waiting for you.

I have been clothed in God’s golden halo,
drapery of fine linens, for he loves me so,
and religion had locked me up.

I wish for Adam to marry Adam,
Eve to love Eve.
For a closed door shall never preserve,
progress has made its step forward,
and I choose to march with.

Religion had locked me up in a closet,
for if I had never opened the door,
misery would have reigned upon me.

And with this,
though I may be frowned upon in a chapel,
hostility will never hold my heart.  

-Chloe Aldecoa

What is my brain made of?
You.
It’s swollen pink with your handprints and eternal pleasures.
I’ve been quiet for a minute, closing my eyes in the dark room and feeling fingertips dance on my spine.
You could make my hoarse throat sing lyrics I had never heard before.

Pleasure.

Withdrawals.
A container for your memories now,
I hold every second of contact, every touch, every word in my head.
My brain is made of you.
You’re the greatest good that has killed me.

All I need, gone.
I would cut my head off if you weren’t still holding me together,

or, I could,
but something tells me you’d watch it roll down a hill.

-Chloe Aldecoa

When you were cold, trapped in a dark place
     pleading for my love and desires
     I saw that you needed a light,

so I set myself on fire.


-Chloe Aldecoa