I can recall the first moment I knew I fell for you, that very moment where the war was over
and my mind died down, letting all common sense and instinct loose
When my heart stood atop a heap of a dead minded girl, who cared for nothing but the lips of a dead minded boy
I had to be cautious with how many times I told you I wanted you
I was careful with how many times I let you into my  secrecy
  

For a while, I pondered on the infinite thought of us becoming so much more,
not just a star in the sky, but the whole galaxy
that I would no longer be just your flower, but the gates to your garden
and perhaps, you would not just be my drop of water, but my whole sea
in hopes that I would sail your waves that flow in and out of your intriguing soul
The way you spoke, those numbingly sweet words,
“I never want to lose you, and I never plan on losing you, ever.”

it wasn't until then, that I had realized, that you never lost me
I lost you, and quite frankly, I don't intend on finding you, ever

-Chloe Aldecoa

I am the good in every good-bye.

Hands held.
touched
felt
printed

Grabbed my heart and toggled it back into its hiding spot.
where it dribbled between the truth and heartache
it sits in a cave.

Etched with small moments and diamonds.
and when I try to dust off the ash,
to let the shimmer of the gem come through,

it reminds me of you.

But it is the greatest good you’ll ever know,
a diamond.
To wear it, hold it, feel it, stamp your lips into it.

It is dangerous.
To fall for a diamond too bright for you, but pure enough to let you look.

The greatest good in the hardest good-bye,
how does it feel to lose your riches, and dig in coal mines,

searching for the diamond you left at your doorstep.

-I will always be sorry for what could’ve been, but never sorry for what has happened
-Chloe Aldecoa

Being reminded.
Two o’clock in the morning.
I am dreaming quietly, the blanket has yet to be ripped off of my skin,
unveiling my vulnerable flesh.

Two-thirty, and I am skinned of my dreams and told I am unable to find what I want.

You.

Could I be held again for one more second? May my hands hold yours in the dark of a room lit by your smile, am I allowed to know you again as only mine for another moment?

You are not mine anymore. The world had taken you back and I am reminded when I wake up to words of sending me off into the world without you.

Remind me, again, about how much you needed me. Lying in your lap and wishing for an eternity of finally knowing what it is like to feel alive.

Foolish, I know. To be reminded and expect miracles to unearth from the universes I have created where I can have what I need and what I want.

Impossibilities haunt me at night, reminding me of what I cannot have.
The spoiled little girl inside me throws tantrums unworthy of this world.

I have grown up, and I grew into you and to be ripped away is simply a knife to my chest, a heartbreak I have never known. I kiss the pieces goodnight, and shape them into your name.
and let the wind sweep them away, the same way I have to, but, at night, I am reminded of the last night I thought this would last.

and it is the only memory keeping me sane.

- to be more was a reality I knew, and is now a dream I hold onto
-Chloe Aldecoa

I ought to know why you stare at me with intention,
but you treat me with hesitation.
Fear what you know for sure, and swim into unknown waters and learn to love an uncharted sea that knows no boundaries with a full heart.
There lies a shore with white sands and calming winds, the comfort of knowing.

-Chloe Aldecoa

Hive behind the fact that I shower you in petals,
remember who gave you wings.
I wrap every limb around those antennas, and I listen.
You relieve the fear of being stung by something so horrible,
I use to hide behind bushels of lies,
blanket myself in dead flowers.

Now, I hive within you, make my home in something that brings me sweets.
I hive in the taste of an unknown kiss,
I thrive in a kingdom of crystal wings and patterned glee,
honey sweet touches that bring life into me.
Allow me to be the field of flowers in the dead night of spring,
harvest what I have left, let the body sing.

Take me back to the warmth of the comforting honeycomb,
and I will follow you wherever you roam.
No distance is too long, no field big enough for me,
to always, and forever, be with my darling honey bee.

-honey comb tastes best when picked from your lips
-Chloe Aldecoa

I use to fear you.
The way your hair reminded me of an oil spill, drowning me in poisons not fit for a queen.

Your eyes sat heavy and dark with despise.
What you were hating, I cannot say.

Maybe you could no longer stand yourself, you could no longer withstand.

I believed in the way you told me we’d survive.
That we would escape and run together.

Our lives with riches and sunlight.
I believed in all of you, all that you were.

I should have known,
To never believe in ghosts.

-Chloe Aldecoa

If I learned to love with both eyes open

I would crawl into unknown alleys
with the expectation that it’s perfect for me.

and maybe that’s why I approach open hearts with sealed eyes,

so I can feel,
hear,
taste their imperfections,

knowing the heart for every chamber it contains

- sorrow came to me in the middle of the night and asked for a kiss, I showed it romance and eternal bliss
-Chloe Aldecoa