i hope that when i wrote you a poem
you'll read it
it's not about you
not totally describing you
or what you did to me
or how we used to be
it is not a mere poem
it is my heart poured into letters
--my soul's message for you
so whenever i write poems for you,
I hope you read it.

i was reading my own poems













i cried.

today feels like yesterday
and tomorrow's just another day
can someone tell the difference?
only time runs but not with my agony
it never runs out
still waiting for the death of darkness
but still i love the night
when someone walks in through
my strong great walls,
they break
when will be my daybreak
i want to finally learn to love light
because it seems to love me
then realized it was not about any other entity
its just me and my sadness
it never got any better,
somehow thankful to the lies
because it keep my dreams living
so whenever you see me smile
maybe i just get used to it
and yeah.
the saddest poem i'll ever write
is never really written in these words
the saddest poem i'll ever write
is the hollowed part engraved in my heart

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Isusulat nito ng malaya ang mga salita
Na hindi mabigkas ng mga labing tikom
Sapat ang tinta nitong pluma
Pamalit sa takot na pumipigil sa sarili

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Hindi na kailangan pang pagtakpan ng ngiti ang bawat sakit
May buhay ang plumang ito
Alam niya ang kanyang silbi, ang maghatid ng katotohanan

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Isusulat nito ang bawat pagkakataong nais niyang tandaan
Mga alaala na dala ng kasaysayan

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Maipaparating niya ang bawat pintig
Ng ligaya o sakit
Malaya ang plumang ito
Walang magbabawal kung ano ang dapat at hindi
Walang pipigil sa pagkawala ng tunay na kulay ng bawat pintig nito

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Ito'y susulat ng tula na magsasabing ikaw lamang ang magiging papel na nais nitong sulatan

Kung may pluma lamang ang aking puso,
Ikaw ang nanaising maging papel
Malaya ang plumang ito at ikaw ang kanyang pinipili
Buhay ang tinta ng plumang ito
At sa iyo, bilang papel, nailathala ang pinakamagandang kasaysayan ng pag-ibig
Na binigyang buhay ng
isang pluma at papel

devour me 'o daredevil




                             I'll be the danger that you want




                                                        if you promise to **** me afterwards

what feels like home
is remembering the taste of morning breakfast
while the sun is still sleeping
and the coffee beans smells so fresh
it is the wake up time and how
you loved to stay in bed for five more minutes
when mom yells at me for not
cleaning the sink properly;
it is waiting up for dad to come home
waiting for his hugs and chocolates;
it is when dad back hugs mom while she was busy
and I'll laugh coz I think its funny because she'll complain;
it is when brother is extremely mad at me
after being caught of playing his electric guitar
it is when the doggos are playing with us
in the middle of the night while the tv is on
what feels like home are simple little things
that made us want to go home
instead of finding reasons to escape
I'm coming back to the same house everyday
but still I miss to feel what true home is...

ilang hakbang pa ba ang dapat kong lakarin nang may piring sa aking mga mata para lamang makalapit sa iyo
patuloy na nasasabik sa mga araw na lumilipas ngunit hindi pa rin tanaw ang liwanag na magsasabing may pag-asa na
para mayakap at mahagkan ka ng walang kilometrong pumapagitan sa ating dalawa kundi tanging silakbo ng dalawang pusong tumangis ngunit pinagtagpo ng pag-ibig

hurry
pick up the phone,
call me
find the right words
you must've to say
or else you'll find me dead
tonight --

when you both smiled at the camera
I captured it with my two teary eyes
when you held her hand
and she held yours
the walls that covers my soft soul,
it breaks.
you've exposed me in so much danger
my fragile heart weeps
when you walk away and let me
stare at you until you're gone
i felt numb
my whole body was shaking
when you took my heart away
then slowly break it everyday
the day you decided to follow your happiness
that was the day you left me
yes, you're happy without me

you don't even have to read this one
you're way too good in breaking my heart

just when I'm about to take my first step away from you,
from all of the memories we had, there I find Melancholy
she's actually nice, she stayed actually longer than we did
and so she became my best friend
It was so clear that you filled every compartment of my heart
but when we unconsciously cut everything between us off
it withers like the garden flowers under the sovereignty of the master's sun
guess?
Melancholy replaced you completely.
now that she's living in me,
goodbye, former self, call me Melancholy

love and selfishness combined
is just selfishness alone
for there are no two different things
are neutral
the other will subside and the other will dominate

everyone wished to become a star
but every star just wished to become nothing
who would like to become hundred thousand years dead
and be recognized and admired by everyone who sees
them and there sufferings from lightyears away
everyone thinks that being a star is magnificent
but no one thinks about the collisions
and the dark matter and blackholes and crashing
no one
no one
no one
no one
except those who once became like them
and that is



no one.

a thought visited his preoccupied mind again
as the galaxies are making its way to her
this man will wish  upon the stars
because he knew that they will listen
and all the celestial bodies will grief with him
when no one understands nor sees his pain
thoughts of her is the best he could think of
but why it is like the best things are worsts too
he begin to utter words of i miss you's
but no matter how loud it was, he was voiceless
just letting the tears drown him in such sadness
if time lapses are existing in real life
he will replay every second she was there
and skip every fights and every cries
no, life's too cruel for it to happen
in the blink of an eye, she became like one of the stars
there in a far away land of shining lights
giving him hope, giving them hope
but for him, she's not a star, not even the brightest
for him, she is the entire universe
that every time he will look above the skies
he will weep and after that is a bittersweet smile
a pure love that is severed in the land
will be continued somewhere else
and he believes
someday, they will meet again there...
in a much better place.

poems
aren't
a
big
deal
until
you
realize
that
it
is
written
for
you
and
meant
for
you

Even if I miss you
(so bad)
it does not mean that
I need you anymore
some things are better
apart from each other
so as we.
there are questions
that do not demand for answers
just as we
we are the question
that is left unanswered
and I think that's better
not all answers are good to hear
and definitely not all are true.

without any further words that deceives
this girl I talk about just simply wished she's dead
hatred, blames and pain are all she receives
from this wicked world of sinners embedded
though she tried to weep and then fight back
life's much stronger than her little tormented hopes
then she felt that all she is, is nothing but a setback
days of agony will pass until beyond her scopes
this girl is not a girl of smiles anymore
she is a lost soul enclose in the anatomy of a pretty lady
in her heart, pure sadness and anger are in store
like a sunshine that used to glow, but sooner became hazy

No, I didn't suicide; thank God this is now a testimony of His glory
Lost but found; for I met Jesus that made this a happy ending story

fraud!
she knew it, smirks, so she applaud.
-
lame. that was a fallacy
herself is the mistery

Have you seen her in the clarity of dripping scarlet riverflows?

she's still the secrecy of midnight that no one ever knows

Even hallowing hazy fog of cold could made us blinded

in this knotted ropes of white lies, dead end

Lowfully dare to follow her illusionary footsteps in waters

fraud. she's the one whose following your shady runners
she is the vulture and the prey;
the moth and the flame;
the wicked and the good;
the water and the blood;

Peace in your mind, her sojourn.

she's the only one who smiled in the midst of mourn

Mellow greetings when she entered the juvenile dreams

when the night visits, it'll be silent screams

fraud?

Eccentric.

she is an oxymoron but more of a paradox.

Walang Pamagat
: A Spoken Word Poetry by Stephanie Dela Cruz

Malumanay ang pagkumpas ng mga kamay ng orasan
Sumasabay pa tong nakakabinging katahimikan
At ako? Nandito sa loob ng apat na sulok ng munti kong silid
Kabisado ko na ang bawat detalye ng kwartong ito ngunit ito parin, nagmamasid
Na para bang nasa ibang lugar ako, nangingilala, nagtataka
Tulad ng kung paanong maraming tanong ang gumagambala sa katahimikan ng sandali
Mga tanong na habang pilit kong hinahanapan ng sagot ay mas lalo lamang nagpapaalala sayo
Sayo at kung anong meron tayo… noon
Para ka rin palang kwarto ko.
Kilala kita, kabisado ko na ang takbo ng isip mo
Alam ko kung kailan ka nagsisinungaling kapag sinabi **** “okay lang ako”
Alam ko kung ano yung mga tugtuging hinahanap-hanap ng pandinig mo
Alam ko kung paano magniningning ang mga mata mo kapag nakakakita ka ng cute na aso
Alam ko dahil inalam ko, alam ko dahil ipinaalam mo, alam ko dahil ginusto kong malaman
Kilala kita, kabisado ko ang bawat tibok ng puso mo
Pero muli, para ka rin palang kwarto ko
Na kahit gaano kita kakilala at kakabisado, naguguluhan pa rin ako
Nangingilala;
Nagtataka;
Dahil kahit naging malapit ka sa akin ay tila parang napakalayo mo pa rin
At kahit gaano kita kakabisado ay hindi ko pa rin alam ang kasagutan mo sa mga  tanong na iniwan mo sa akin kasabay ng pag-alis mo sa buhay ko:

bakit.

Bakit ka pumasok sa nananahimik kong buhay para pasiglahin ito at sa huli ay iwan ako?
Bakit mo ipinadama sa akin na importante ako para lang isang araw ay ipadama na wala na kong halaga sayo?
Bakit mo ako nilapitan nang may ningning sa mapupungay **** mata at matamis na ngiti sa iyong mga labi?
Bakit mo ipinaulit-ulit ng bigkas ang pangalan ko na hanggang ngayon ay musika sa akin?
Bakit ka nagpakilala para lang sa huli ay limutin?
Bakit ka lumapit sa akin na parang isang apoy na nagbigay liwanag ngunit siya rin palang tutupok sa akin?
Bakit ka dumating sa buhay ko para lamang sa huli ay lumisan?

Ang daming bakit pero iisang bakit lang ang gusto kong sagutin mo.

Bakit mo ako iniwan ng biglaan?

At hindi naman ako tanga.
Alam ko na iba tayong dalawa.
Sabihin mo nga sa akin kung paano ko hindi bibigyan ng pansin ang sigaw ng mga kilos **** sinasabing espesyal ako?
Paano kung sabihin ko sayong pinakinggan ko ang bulong ng puso mo noong unang beses na inaya mo akong kumain sa labas?
Paano kung sabihin ko sayo na narinig ko ang pangalan ko sa pagitan ng pagpintig ng pulso mo noong inabot mo ang mga kamay ko?
Paano kung naiintindihan ko ang ibig sabihin ng mga biro **** nagpapahiwatig na ako ang gusto mo?
At paano kung sabihin ko sayo na nakita ko ang nakaukit na ‘mahal kita’ sa ningning ng mga mata mo sa tuwing magkasama tayo?

Hindi naman ako tanga.

Alam mo ba? Tayo ang tulang ito.

– walang pamagat

Kumbaga sa linya ng isang kanta ay “oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo”
Na katulad ng isang pelikula, hindi lahat ay nagtatapos sa happy ending
At katulad ng isang nobela, masaya man o malungkot, lahat ay nagtatapos

Sa lahat ng nobela, itong sa atin yung kuwento na hindi naisulat ngunit nagtapos
Natapos ngunit walang paalam

Kahit wala tayong pamagat, gusto kong pahalagahan ito
Dahil ito yung meron tayo.
Medyo magulo pero ito, tignan mo, naisingit ko na yung salitang “tayo”

Sayang.

Sana kumapit ka pa.

Naiisip ko pa rin gabi-gabi kung bakit ka lumayo
Patawad, naaalala pa rin kita kahit hindi ko naisin
Patawad, umaasa pa rin ako na babalik pa sa dati ang lahat
Dahil naniniwala pa rin ako na nobela tayo
At hindi pa nagtapos ang kuwento noong huling beses na humakbang ako palayo at hindi ka nagsayang ng segundo para lumingon sa direksyong tinahak ko

Naghihintay ako.

Mali pala ang pagkakagamit ko ng mga salita.

Wala pa tayong pamagat

Ngunit malay mo balang araw ay magkaroon din at habang hindi pa dumadating ang araw na iyon, ipipikit ko ang mga mata at ibubulong sa hangin na…

sana malaman mo na mahal din kita.

Para sa Pusong Iniwan
: A Spoken Word Poetry by Stephanie Dela Cruz

Umuulan na naman pala
Basa na naman ang kalsada
Malamig na naman ang dampi ng hanging nagmumula sa bukas na bintana
Gabi na rin pala, nalipasan na nang gutom,
Nakapatay ang ilaw sa kwarto, pero maya’t mayang binibisita ng liwanag ng kidlat
ang malungkot na gabi
Ang hirap pala ngumiti kung may luhang dumadampi sa mga pisngi
Nakakatawa kasi eh. Buti pa ang kidlat bumibisita
Buti pa ang kidlat, may hatid na liwanag, tapos yayakapin ka ng kakaibang lamig ng haplos ng hanging dala nito
Mabuti pa ang ulan, bumubuhos na parang malayang-malaya
Bumubuhos kasama ng mga luha
Bumubuhos kasama ng mga sakit na iniwan
Bumubuhos kasabay ng pagluha ng pusong iniwan.

Umaga na naman pala
Buti nalang nagising ng maaga
Haharap sa mesa, at kagaya ng nakasanayan, magtitimpla ng mainit na kape
Tatangkaing gisingin ang diwa, susubukang palitan ng init ang hatid na lamig ng gabi
Iba talaga ‘pag hinahatid ka ng sariling paghikbi sa kapayapaan ng mundo ng mga panaginip
Doon kung saan walang sakit, yung bang walang imposible
Heto na naman, panibagong araw
Araw-araw kong nasisilayan ang sigla ng sikat ng araw pero bakit dama pa rin yung dilim kinagabihan
Hindi pa rin matanaw ang liwanag
Tinangay mo kasi
Sinama mo sa pag-alis
Bakit naman kasi ang bilis? Hindi man lang ako nakapagpaalam

Tanghali na pala
Oras na ng kain.
At tulad ng dati, inaaya pa rin nila ko kumain
At tulad ng dati, tumatanggi pa rin
Kasi alam ko pupuntahan mo ko tapos sabay tayong kakain
Dun sa dati, sa paborito natin
Tanghalian na pala
Pero imbis na sa pagkain ay sa telepono ako nakatingin
Hindi man aminin pero sa loob loob ko’y naghihintay pa rin
Para sa iyong “kumain ka na ba?” o “Puntahan kita, kain tayo”
Hingang malalim, yung may kasamang matinding damdamin

Ilang tanghalian pa at malilimutan rin kita

Malilimutan ko rin yung ningning sa’yong mga mata kapag kausap kita
Yung mga biro **** corny pero tatawanan ko pa rin kasi habang binabanggit mo yun, natutuwa  ako
Natutuwa ako na kasama kita
Natutuwa ako na kausap kita
Natutuwa ako kasi akin ka
Natutuwa ako kasi ang cute mo, para kang batang masayahin
Natutuwa ako kasi magkasama tayo
Natutuwa ako kasi solo natin ang bawat sandali
Natutuwa ako kasi ikaw yan at mahal kita

Yun. Tumpak! Mahal pa rin kita.


Matagal na rin pala.
At hindi na tulad ng dati
Memoryado ko na lahat ng pasikot-sikot ng pagkatao mo
Ginawa kasi kitang mundo ko
Mahirap.
Masakit.
At para lang malaman mo, hindi kita kinabisado na tila mga salita sa paborito nating kanta para lang limutin
Mahirap.
Masakit.
Hindi naman kasi kita ginawang mundo para lang lisanin
Pero hindi naman talaga kita nilisan, mahal.
Ikaw yung nang-iwan
Ikaw yung sumuko
Ikaw yung bumitaw
At matagal na rin pala
Nung sinabi mo sakin na “Malaya ka na” alalang-ala ko pa. Yun yung panahon kung kalian ayaw kong lumaya. Ayaw kong lumaya sa pag-ibig mo. Gusto ko masintensyahan ng habang-buhay na pagkakulong dyan sa puso mo, sa buhay mo.

Pinilit ko kumapit pero kinalagan mo ako, pangako, pinilit ko pero pinalaya mo ako

Matagal na rin pala
Mahirap pa rin.
Masakit pa rin.
Ako nalang ang hinihintay. Siguro’y panahon na.
Para sarili ko naman yung palayain ko
Hindi naman siguro kailangang pilitin
Hindi naman kasi ganoon kadaling kalimutan ang isang taong naging parte na rin ng pagkatao ko
Pero para sa ikalalaya ng pusong iniwan
Para sa ikagagaling ng pusong lubos na nasaktan
Sisimulan ko na…..                makalimot.

Pero teka…


Umuulan na naman pala.
Wag naman sana pero ayan na, papatak na naman pala


Maaalala na naman kita.

A year ago or so;
and I still can't see the worth
500 days or more;
but I still fail to recognize
some things that I already got
even the people that I already have
Looking for someone
Waiting for someone
But not for the one who looks for me
And surely not for the one who waits for me
Should the stars decide?
I am always in pieces when you arrive
Should I talk to the moon?
And rant the things that should've be
But never did
Neither for him nor for me
We looked at the midnight sky
And found the brightest star
But never we did realized that
those stars
Are from different constellations
Should the universe decide
What two stars shall collide?
if that is, another star will make a wish
And as we close our eyes tonight
one soul will add shine to my million starlights

chasing
running
i... couldn't breathe
i see nothing.
pure nothing.
tell me this is not happening
where are the people
why..
nobody's here
here in... nowhere?
what's happening.
why? there's no one here
you? where are you
why...
there's no one here
but... it feels so crowded.
stopped chasing
stopped running
i couldn't breathe... anymore.

There's nothing left to wonder about
I've taken up every burdens out
Enough of creating little mysteries
It is just a train of reckless undefined series
Like those of million raging stars at night
Who says that there's no such thing as fright
In a what they've seen as perfect land
I got there and there was no helping hand
Stars look like magical dust in a stunning way
But no one sees that it is dying from lightyears away
Time to wake up, dear pretty little mind
Collect every shining tears to be bind
Reality is always better than dreams
Hard but could get better than it seems

She turns a blank paper
Into a marvelous piece of art
When her pen collaborates with her heart
Worst's becomes better
And as she tell prose
She use metaphors of universe
Beautiful like a wild rose
Diving minds into diverse
Magnificent land of her heaven
She accelerated the time when
Sorrows give an innocent soul lament
And though the world has no fair judgment
She wanted to make a world just for all
Even in her own poetry, she could fall
The outskirts of town will have a little
Taste of hope as her heart gets brittle
She realized she doesn't write poetries
For everyone, she designed short stories
With a fair, happy endings

When tears has gone
It meant something
That someone had wiped it
Vanished the sadness astray
Relieved the pain away
Vibrance will be the same
And sunshine would came
Beginning starts at the end
Of yesterday's dark clouds
Because tears are gone
But another rainy day will come
And how to keep calm
If thunders are inside the roof
And how to be happy when
The tears are pouring again
Louder than thunders
Heavier than hurricanes
And the one who wipes it out
Is now the reason why it fell to the ground
When sunshine is there,
It isn't there forever
When tears are gone
It isn't gone forever.

Two blue stars

                                        ... collided

But never met.

-- colors blended

                                           ,.. but never mixed

The skies are different.


But when they both looked up...


They saw the same heavens.

Huli na nga ba ang lahat
Kailan mo masasabing hindi sapat
Ang bawat piraso ng mga durog na puso
Ang bawat patak ng mga pulang dugo
Umagos kasabay ng mga luha
Sino ang totoong may sala
Isinulat sa pahinang gawa sa tubig
Ang makatotohanan ngunit huwad na pag-ibig
Kailan nga ba naging tama ang mali
Kapag ba wala nang makapitan ang pusong puno ng pighati
Puno ng galit at pagkamuhi
Bakit hinayaang maikubli
Sinong nagbigay ng buong tiwala?
Silang mga nabigo't nasaktan at umasa sa wala
Pilit mang pagtakpan ang mailap na katotohanan
Sarili lang ang dapat protektahan
Wala nang direksyon ang bawat bukas
Na mabuti na ring ito na ang wakas
Ang dulo ang simula ng salitang sapat
At ang simula ang dulo ng lahat.

Nasaan ang dulo ng walang hanggan
Hindi ko hinanap ngunit natagpuan
Nasaan ang pangakong binitawan
Ang daang madilim na iyong inilawan
Ikaw rin ang pumatay ng sindi
Sa mga tanong na ang sagot ay hindi
Ikaw ang aking inaasam na sana
Sana masilayan kita sa bawat umaga
Sana ikaw na lang, ngayon at bukas
Sana hindi nalang ito ang wakas
Nasaan ang dulo ng walang katapusang ligaya
Kapag ba naroon na sa puntong hindi na masaya
Bakit mo binago ang takbo ng tadhana
O siguro'y una palang, hindi na tayo ang itinadhana
Nasaan ka nga ba talaga?
Ibubulong nalang sa hangin ang iyong halaga
Ipipikit ang mata habang sinasambit ang isa pang sana
Sana'y bumalik ang kinang sa'yong mata, malaya ka na
Alam ko na kung nasaan ka ngunit bakit?
Pangako. Magkikita tayong muli sa langit.

Watch out;
No one ever know when things will stay ours
Anything can be ****** away, even anyone..

But take heart;
No one ever know why and how but it's true
Everything can be conquered by love, even anyone..

inside the cold body of the grinning devil
resides a weeping angel
handcuffed hands of torment
chained body of toil
angelic voice echoed as curse
poisoned and lingers through out
The devil will sin
while the angel still sing
psalms of praise and worship
There's still hope to find
for a good soul with a monster appearance
There's still salvation for the bad
Divinity is bigger than any evil
Near is the coming.
As the Day is approaching,
The hope will find us, the angel and the devil
O Iisoús Sozei.

Sunshine.
A beautiful sunshine
You said I am your sunshine
You keep calling me the sunshine
While I felt so loved being that sunshine,
You kept turning into a dark night of no shine
Why did you keep calling me sunshine
When you are a total nyctophilia.

tell me you love her
tell me you need her
while I bear those pain
while you poured me rain
as long as I'm holding you tight
I am the who will fight
for you, like how she didn't
as I do things that she wouldn't
you are safe in my arm
I will let no harm
even if it does to me
even if it kills me
to see you in love but not with me
I will comfort you til the end
Because I am your best friend

Second chances
Are not a chance at a second time
It is for a millionth
that been given in every second I see you
in your pleading eyes
leaving me astounded, heart melted
I can't take to throw you away
just the way you did to me
And tho every chances I've give
Is a chance I take away to myself
To receive what is best
It is never you, I knew it
But you are the chance I desire to have

Not all lost were found
some are forgotten

No one ever knows
the rhymings of my poetry
blob of words combined
And so do I.
In between these rigid lines
Are invisible tears and smiles
Passing through windows
Of soul through the eyes
Daring to touch every strands
Til the inner glands
What do I know, who am I?
I am just a typist who takes part
of my own indefinite poet heart.

she's wise -
but not in love
harshly aggrieved
badly deprived
gave everything
left with nothing
I told you...
she's wise
but not in love
she cared
but got scarred
she giveaway
but had sent away
she did best
til she became less
I told you
she's wise
but she did it
because she was in love.


she learnt.
better she get wiser
I hope, in love.

Going into not so good side
Something to believe, bonafide
Where about's in truths and lies
Does your innocence hides?
If I said, I died, would you believe?
What is truth and what is lie
I died while I'm still alive
This is truth but this is mystery
I played the music of treachery
Left no lyrics to sing
When I won as I am losing
The good in lies
Has been revealed to my eyes
Truths are not truth without it
Lies are made to complete the cycle
You and I, we're the cycle
Between us two,
Who's the lie and who's the true?

Liquids of sadness
Falls from her eyes
Just too many why's
She did lived in lies.
This world is a liar

I can be happy without you
But I can't do that genuinely
It's like you're a puzzle piece
That even I'm almost complete
I'm still hollowed and emptied
What is it like to wear a smile
If you're not the reason behind
I can be fine without you
But I'm always better by your side

Midnight is a wonderful phenomenon
A transition of a last night and a new day
Just like how we said hello
When the night says goodbye
I never thought nor imagined
That I am destined
To meet such a lovely soul
I met my angel in the midnight
And everything's heaven since then

How cliche is this
They said, love transcends
But why my love couldn't reach
the axis of your heart
whenever I'm closer to you,
You seemed farthest
should I blame our plane?
For this terrible graph
I'm willing to lose my function
Just for us to be perpendicular
rather than parallel,
worse, is it just me
who would risk brokenness
to meet you, to catch you
but how will I do
when we aren't meant to be
never in this finite line,
we will never be...
We are just asymptotes

Look at the galaxies
Up upon the skies
Wait and see a meteorite
Whisper away your fright
say the adjectives of perfection,
the secret dreams of affection
Don't let this night pass
without receiving the joy that'll last
see the oceans of million lights
clothe it and illuminate the nights
You're meant to shine
An everlasting carbine
Show the world your beauty
You're not the trash they see.

Watch me burn
Touch me not
Hear me scream
Say nothing
Collapsed and distressed,
Stay on point
This room so crowded
No place for pity
Watch me burn
With smile a lot
Hear me scream
Say a laugh
Collapsed and distressed,
You stayed on point.
You killed me twice.

I don't know if this is wrong but
It never felt this right before
I don't know what to do
I'd never been this way before
I somehow want to fight for it
But will you join me in the battle?
I don't know
I'd never told you before.

I'm screaming
but there are no sounds
like how it torment slowly
my once innocent sinful soul
sees through my brown eyes
are the final hopes of life
I wish I could die in peace
than to live in this freezing breeze
have mercy upon me, Oh Lord!
Embrace me with your grace
And I'll know that tomorrow
Will be pure, calming white as snow

Thinking of something poetic,
All I'd think about is you..
You are my poetry.

I'm tired of you
I'm tired of receiving so much dramas
I'm tired of listening to your rants
I'm tired of watching your silly moves
I'm tired of your weird personality
I'm tired of understanding your logic
I'm tired of your boring life
I'm tired of your childishness
I'm tired of how you talk
I'm tired of seeing you laugh loud
I'm tired of seeing you frown
I'm tired of seeing you cry
I'm tired of how you look
I'm tired of you.
I'm just really tired of everything about you
I'm used through it.
All I ever want to do now is to love it.
All I ever want to do now and forever is to love you.

laughing isn't a denotation of happiness
sometimes, of hardships too
smiling isn't just for positivity
sometimes, it transcends negativity
staring isn't always a creepy deed
sometimes, it's because you've lost in beauty
or perhaps in tragedy;
crying doesn't always mean that your sad
sometimes, you outcry for joy
or sometimes for a need
and being silent doesn't always
correspond with madness
sometimes, you just have too
so you can hear yourself's plead
and feel your own emotions
and everything else will follow
... eventually

oh! where did I go
slamming the door of regression
taking a step forth progression
I'd dive into the sense of thousand fears
knowing that it was a million tears
would go anyway
that's the only way
the road that's breaking
is the path I'm taking
my legs are now tired
but my will was fired
.... like the gun
no, not fun
it was an unending maze
of nowhere but craze
don't worry, I'll take care
all they would do is stare
as I was running
but realized, I'm not moving