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118.6k · Aug 2018
Para sa Pusong Iniwan
Stephanie Aug 2018
Para sa Pusong Iniwan
: A Spoken Word Poetry by Stephanie Dela Cruz

Umuulan na naman pala
Basa na naman ang kalsada
Malamig na naman ang dampi ng hanging nagmumula sa bukas na bintana
Gabi na rin pala, nalipasan na nang gutom,
Nakapatay ang ilaw sa kwarto, pero maya’t mayang binibisita ng liwanag ng kidlat
ang malungkot na gabi
Ang hirap pala ngumiti kung may luhang dumadampi sa mga pisngi
Nakakatawa kasi eh. Buti pa ang kidlat bumibisita
Buti pa ang kidlat, may hatid na liwanag, tapos yayakapin ka ng kakaibang lamig ng haplos ng hanging dala nito
Mabuti pa ang ulan, bumubuhos na parang malayang-malaya
Bumubuhos kasama ng mga luha
Bumubuhos kasama ng mga sakit na iniwan
Bumubuhos kasabay ng pagluha ng pusong iniwan.

Umaga na naman pala
Buti nalang nagising ng maaga
Haharap sa mesa, at kagaya ng nakasanayan, magtitimpla ng mainit na kape
Tatangkaing gisingin ang diwa, susubukang palitan ng init ang hatid na lamig ng gabi
Iba talaga ‘pag hinahatid ka ng sariling paghikbi sa kapayapaan ng mundo ng mga panaginip
Doon kung saan walang sakit, yung bang walang imposible
Heto na naman, panibagong araw
Araw-araw kong nasisilayan ang sigla ng sikat ng araw pero bakit dama pa rin yung dilim kinagabihan
Hindi pa rin matanaw ang liwanag
Tinangay mo kasi
Sinama mo sa pag-alis
Bakit naman kasi ang bilis? Hindi man lang ako nakapagpaalam

Tanghali na pala
Oras na ng kain.
At tulad ng dati, inaaya pa rin nila ko kumain
At tulad ng dati, tumatanggi pa rin
Kasi alam ko pupuntahan mo ko tapos sabay tayong kakain
Dun sa dati, sa paborito natin
Tanghalian na pala
Pero imbis na sa pagkain ay sa telepono ako nakatingin
Hindi man aminin pero sa loob loob ko’y naghihintay pa rin
Para sa iyong “kumain ka na ba?” o “Puntahan kita, kain tayo”
Hingang malalim, yung may kasamang matinding damdamin

Ilang tanghalian pa at malilimutan rin kita

Malilimutan ko rin yung ningning sa’yong mga mata kapag kausap kita
Yung mga biro **** corny pero tatawanan ko pa rin kasi habang binabanggit mo yun, natutuwa  ako
Natutuwa ako na kasama kita
Natutuwa ako na kausap kita
Natutuwa ako kasi akin ka
Natutuwa ako kasi ang cute mo, para kang batang masayahin
Natutuwa ako kasi magkasama tayo
Natutuwa ako kasi solo natin ang bawat sandali
Natutuwa ako kasi ikaw yan at mahal kita

Yun. Tumpak! Mahal pa rin kita.


Matagal na rin pala.
At hindi na tulad ng dati
Memoryado ko na lahat ng pasikot-sikot ng pagkatao mo
Ginawa kasi kitang mundo ko
Mahirap.
Masakit.
At para lang malaman mo, hindi kita kinabisado na tila mga salita sa paborito nating kanta para lang limutin
Mahirap.
Masakit.
Hindi naman kasi kita ginawang mundo para lang lisanin
Pero hindi naman talaga kita nilisan, mahal.
Ikaw yung nang-iwan
Ikaw yung sumuko
Ikaw yung bumitaw
At matagal na rin pala
Nung sinabi mo sakin na “Malaya ka na” alalang-ala ko pa. Yun yung panahon kung kalian ayaw kong lumaya. Ayaw kong lumaya sa pag-ibig mo. Gusto ko masintensyahan ng habang-buhay na pagkakulong dyan sa puso mo, sa buhay mo.

Pinilit ko kumapit pero kinalagan mo ako, pangako, pinilit ko pero pinalaya mo ako

Matagal na rin pala
Mahirap pa rin.
Masakit pa rin.
Ako nalang ang hinihintay. Siguro’y panahon na.
Para sarili ko naman yung palayain ko
Hindi naman siguro kailangang pilitin
Hindi naman kasi ganoon kadaling kalimutan ang isang taong naging parte na rin ng pagkatao ko
Pero para sa ikalalaya ng pusong iniwan
Para sa ikagagaling ng pusong lubos na nasaktan
Sisimulan ko na…..                makalimot.

Pero teka…


Umuulan na naman pala.
Wag naman sana pero ayan na, papatak na naman pala


Maaalala na naman kita.
I just have every pain and smiles enough to write this piece, not necessarily the experiences. Perhaps, with all my heart
50.1k · Apr 2019
ISANG DAANG TULA (Pangako)
Stephanie Apr 2019
isinulat ni: Stephanie Dela Cruz

\

isang daang tula.
sabi ko noon ay bibigyan kita ng isang daang tula
mga tulang magiging gabay mo kung sakaling mawala ka man sa akin, o kung ilayo ka man ng ating mga tadhana, o kung paalisin mo na ko sayong tabi,
ngunit pangako, hinding hindi magiging dahilan ang kusa kong pag alis, pangako yan.
itong mga tulang ito ang magiging gabay mo kung sakaling maisip **** ako ang kailangan mo at ako ang gusto **** makasama hanggang dulo
itong mga tulang ito ang magiging resibo mo, magiging ebidensya ito ng kung paano kita minahal ng pagmamahal na hindi mo kailanman naibigay sa akin

isang daang tula.
alam mo bang tula ang una kong minahal kaysa sa iyo
ibinuhos ko lahat ng mga inspirasyon, pag-ibig, luha at pati tulog ko'y isinantabi ko na para sa kanila
dahil ako rin ang mga tulang ito,
alam mo namang isa kong babasaging salamin na paulit ulit na binabasag ng mga taong gustong maglabas ng sama ng loob, ng matinding emosyon, isang salaming kakamustahin kapag gusto nilang ipaalala sa sarili nila na maganda sila at mahalaga at kamahal-mahal at importante...
ako nga ang mga tulang ito, at paulit ulit kong pinaghirapang buuin muli ang aking sarili, ang bawat dinurog na piraso ko'y sinusubukang buuin muli gamit ang hinabing mga tula
itinago ko sa bawat maririkit na salita ang mga lamat na hindi na maaalis pero pipilitin ko...
at sa huli naisip kong hindi ko lang pala gustong sumulat at bumigkas ng tula..
gusto ko rin maging tula ng iba, na mamahalin ako katulad ng pagmamahal na ibinuhos ko sa mga ito

at ayun nga... dumating ka.

ngunit tanong ko pa rin sa aking sarili itong palaisipan...  "naging tula mo ba ko talaga?"


hindi.

dahil hindi ka naman talaga interesado sa mga tula.


alam ko naman kung anong nais mo talaga..

ang gusto mo'y musika.


maganda, masarap sa pandinig, masasabayan mo sa pagsayaw... maipagmamalaki.


hindi naman ako musika... isa lamang akong tula.



isang daang tula.
alam mo bang kung nakakapagsalita lamang ang aking mga sinulat ay sigurado akong magtatampo sila
dahil naisulat na ang tulang bukod tangi sa lahat, tulang pinaka mamahal ko higit sa lahat
ito ay ang bawat tulang isinulat ko para sa iyo..
isa... dalawa... tatlo.. hindi ko na mabilang kung gaano karaming tula na ba ang naisulat ko para sayo
ngunit mas marami ata yung mga tulang isinulat ko nang dahil sayo
at wag kang mabibigla kung sasabihin kong hindi lahat ng iyon ay puro kilig, puro saya, puro tamis ng sandaling kasama kita
dahil sa bawat pagkakataong hindi mo namamalayang sinasaktan mo ako ay sumusulat ako ng tula
may mga pagkakataong ikaw ang dahilan ng mga luhang siyang naging tinta nitong aking pluma na pinangsulat ko ng tula

wag kang mag-aalala, hindi nasasapawan ng kahit anong sakit at pait ang pagmamahal ko sa iyo. :)


isang daang tula.
teka, kailan ba tayo nagsimula?
napakabilis ng panahon, lumilipas na kasing bilis ng pagningning ng mga bituin sa gabi
hindi pa tayo tapos mangarap ngunit tumitigil na... natapos na ang pagkinang.
inaawat na tayo ng kalawakan... o teka... mali pala... dahil ikaw ang umawat sa kalawakan
pinatay mo ang sindi ng pinakamakinang na bituing pinangakuan ko ng wagas na pagmamahal sa'yo habambuhay
wala nang natira.. pati ang mga bulalakaw na nagdadala ng milyong paghiling kong makasama ka hanggang dulo ay wala na, lumisan na
at hindi ko naman inasahan na sasama ka sa kanila
hinihintay kong hawakan **** muli ang aking kamay nang mas mahigpit sa paghawak ko ng kamay mo katulad ng una't pangalawang beses nating pagkikita pero
binitawan mo ako mahal



isang daang tula...












teka muna mahal, hindi ko pa naisusulat ang pang isang daan
bakit ka'y bilis mo namang umalis... hindi mo man lang hinintay na matapos ko ang mga tulang ito na nagpapatunay na minsan may tayo


pero pangako...


tatapusin ko itong isang daang tula at hindi ito magtatapos sa pang isang daan dahil susulat pa ko ng mas marami, susulat ako nang mas marami pa hanggang sa hindi na ikaw ang tinutukoy ng mga salita sa aking tula, hanggang sa hindi na ikaw ang buhay nitong aking pagtula...
ipapaalala ko sa aking sarili na ako ang mga tulang ito at hindi ako magtatapos sa panahong pinili **** umalis kesa basahin ako, pinili **** iwanan ang tunay na nagmamahal sayo, sabi mo iingatan mo ang puso ko ngunit hindi mo ba alam? ikaw ang muling sumira nito kaya't heto... may dahilan nanaman para sumulat ako ng tulang magbubuo ng mga piraso ng aking sarili na dinurog mo... pinili **** saktan ako, pinili **** lumayo para sa sarili mo, pinili **** maghanap ng mas maganda at mas higit sa akin, ang dami dami **** pinili mahal ngunit bakit hindi ako ang isa sa mga pinili mo? ah. alam ko na. dahil nga pala may mas higit pa sa pagpipilian kaya bakit nga ba ako ang pipiliin mo diba?


pero pinapangako ko... isa lamang akong tulang hindi mo pinag-aksayahan ng oras para basahin ngunit balang araw ay magkakaroon din ako ng sukat at tugma, ang mga salita sa aking malayang pagsulat ay tatawaging liriko at kapag ganap na akong maging musika... pangako.... huling pangako ko na ito para sayo kaya't makinig kang mabuti...




mapasabay ka man sa  saliw ng aking musika, kailanma'y hindi na ko ang kanta, liriko, musika, at tulang isinulat para sa iyo.
I miss you so bad but not enough to want you back.
6.5k · Mar 2018
Nightsky
Stephanie Mar 2018
The night sky above...
Unreached by doves
a majestic sight
of incomparable light
twinkling dusts
of shimmering galactic blast
I wonder why
That this precious night sky
was so sadly underrated
even noticed, but rarely appreciated
I wished you give a minute
to take your eyes a treat
and you'll see that same night sky
I look at when all I've got is to cry
That is my eternal canvas
where hopes and dreams and lies was
scattered in nowhere of fair distances;
couldn't even remember the pieces.
my metaphor of life,
an infinite projection of blithe
so tonight, by chance, again
I'll watch my night sky then
hoping you did too
because my methapor of night sky is you
c e l e s t i a l | t h e r a p y
6.1k · Dec 2018
Pluma at Papel
Stephanie Dec 2018
Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Isusulat nito ng malaya ang mga salita
Na hindi mabigkas ng mga labing tikom
Sapat ang tinta nitong pluma
Pamalit sa takot na pumipigil sa sarili

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Hindi na kailangan pang pagtakpan ng ngiti ang bawat sakit
May buhay ang plumang ito
Alam niya ang kanyang silbi, ang maghatid ng katotohanan

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Isusulat nito ang bawat pagkakataong nais niyang tandaan
Mga alaala na dala ng kasaysayan

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Maipaparating niya ang bawat pintig
Ng ligaya o sakit
Malaya ang plumang ito
Walang magbabawal kung ano ang dapat at hindi
Walang pipigil sa pagkawala ng tunay na kulay ng bawat pintig nito

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Ito'y susulat ng tula na magsasabing ikaw lamang ang magiging papel na nais nitong sulatan

Kung may pluma lamang ang aking puso,
Ikaw ang nanaising maging papel
Malaya ang plumang ito at ikaw ang kanyang pinipili
Buhay ang tinta ng plumang ito
At sa iyo, bilang papel, nailathala ang pinakamagandang kasaysayan ng pag-ibig
Na binigyang buhay ng
isang pluma at papel
5.4k · Mar 2019
marso bente dos
Stephanie Mar 2019
byernes.
isang araw lang pala ang hahatol
sa bawat oras na hindi tayo ang sandigan ng isa't-isa
isang araw na puno ng pagaalinlangan ngunit sa huli
ay natiyak ng puso kong hindi panaginip ang lahat
isang araw na tumapos sa lahat ng pangungulilang
akala'y hindi na mawawakasan
isang araw lang pala ang magtatanggal ng lahat ng mga takot
dahil paano kung sa pagtatapos ng araw na ito'y iiwan mo rin ako..
isang araw, at sa unang pagkakatao'y nahawakan ko rin
ang iyong mga kamay, sa iyong tabi natagpuan ang panibagong tahanan
wala nang kilometrong pumapagitan sa ating dalawa...
wala na mahal, pangako
at sa oras na matapos ang natitirang oras ng araw na ito
pangako, hindi na tayo kailanman paghihiwalayin ng tadhana
kahit pa humakbang na tayo palayo sa isat-sa
at kahit pa ilang kilometro nanaman ang sa atin ay papagitna
tandaan **** dala mo ang puso ko, at nasa akin ang iyo
naniniwala akong hihintayin mo ako at ganon rin ako
magtatapos ang marso bente dos ngunit hindi ang pag-ibig ko sayo
marami mang araw ang dumating ngunit ikaw at ikaw pa rin ang hihintayin


hanggang sa muli, mahal.
{edited 4/27/19: dapat na ata tong limutin dahil iniwan mo na ko mahal]
4.9k · Jan 2020
Malaya
Stephanie Jan 2020
Ikaw ang takbuhan sa mga oras na walang wala..

Ang ibig kong sabihin sa walang wala ay yun bang walang wala na kong maibuhos na luha,

Walang wala na kong malapitan,

Walang wala na kong makapitan,

Wala nang gustong makinig,

Wala nang interesado, naubos na kasi ultimo ang para sa sarili.

Ikaw lang ang natatangi.

Ang lakas pala ng loob kong magalit sa mga mang-iiwan, naisip kong wala rin pala akong karapatan.

Ganoon din ako..

Binitawan kita kapalit ng kasiyahan.

Nakangiti ka sa akin habang hinahatid ako sa napakagandang hantungan.

Baligtad na ang mesa.

Nandito na ko.... muli.

Lalakad patungo sa iyo na may dala dalang pluma at papel

Iguguhit ang pait, ngingiti dahil ito na naman tayo sa puntong ito at hindi ko mahanap ang mga tamang salita

Nalimot ko na ata ang tamang pakikipagtalastasan.

Alam kong mauuwi na naman sa tipikal na kamustahan.

Hindi ko inakalang babalik tayo sa nakaraan habang umuusad ang mga kamay ng orasan

Mapagbiro.

Hindi ako handa sa pagsalubong ng taon

Bakit ko nakikita ang mga aninong matagal nang nilamon ng liwanag

Bakit muling nagdurugo ang mga sugat na matagal nang naghilom

Hindi ako naniniwala sa swerte.

Walang swerte. Walang sumugal na hindi natalo.

Buti na lang mayroon akong babalikan.

Ikaw yung kaibigan na hindi lumilisan.

Matagal ang isang taon,

Sumulat ako ng mga tulang kawangis mo

Binuo ko sila na parang mga bahagi ko

Akala ko ay tapos na...

Kung ang pagsulat ay paglaya, hindi ba dapat ay nakakalag na sa akin ang tanikala?

O mali.. baka wala talagang paglaya

Paano kung nililibot ko lamang ang malawak na hawla nang may huwad na pag-asa?

Minasdan ko ang obrang nilikha ng dekada,

Makulay, sa unang tingin ay puno ng pangarap

Parang nobelang nagsasalaysay, at kapag naroon ka na sa kasukdulan ng tunggalian,

Nanaisin **** isara ang pahina..

Makikiusap ang nobela sa isang pagkakataong sana'y siya ay tapusin hanggang huling kabanata...

Napaluha ako ng matindi dahil isa pa lang trahedya ang nobela.

Teka.. teka..

Buburahin ang ilang metapora.

Masyadong madrama.

Malayo sa imaheng gusto kong makita at ipakita

Ngunit tila hindi hawak ng aking kamay ang panulat,

Hinablot nang marahas ng pusong gustong kumawala

Ganon ata talaga sa muling pagkikita pagkatapos ng matagal na pagkakawalay...

Puno ng emosyon.

Magugulo ang burador, wala nang patutunguhan ang tula.

Hindi bale.

Hindi naman dapat na maging maganda ang porma ng tula,

Hindi importante ang sukat at tugma,

Sa susunod na babasa ka ng tula,

Nagbibigay ka ng tunay na pag-asa sa may akda.

Kasinungalingan ang bigkasing masaya ako, ngunit aaminin kong may tuwa, may katiting na pagsigla sa muli nating pagkikita,

Maraming salamat, Sining ng Malayang Pagsulat.
This is my another piece which is written in Filipino. And, it is a free verse poem.
Stephanie Nov 2018
ilang hakbang pa ba ang dapat kong lakarin nang may piring sa aking mga mata para lamang makalapit sa iyo
patuloy na nasasabik sa mga araw na lumilipas ngunit hindi pa rin tanaw ang liwanag na magsasabing may pag-asa na
para mayakap at mahagkan ka ng walang kilometrong pumapagitan sa ating dalawa kundi tanging silakbo ng dalawang pusong tumangis ngunit pinagtagpo ng pag-ibig
2.7k · Feb 2019
be my home
Stephanie Feb 2019
The letters of your name
Matches with the ones engraved
in my beautiful nightsky    
The words you speak
Are like calming music that
gently soothes my wounded heart      
Out of thousands of promises I've heard
I will choose to listen to yours
and count on it                                  
Like how summer days are full of
vibrance and hope
But if time comes and darkness
filled my galaxy
Meet me in our rendezvous
and see me waiting for you  
"Can you please walk me home?"  
Perhaps, be my home.
2.7k · May 2018
Hi Sunshine!
Stephanie May 2018
Sunshine.
A beautiful sunshine
You said I am your sunshine
You keep calling me the sunshine
While I felt so loved being that sunshine,
You kept turning into a dark night of no shine
Why did you keep calling me sunshine
When you are a total nyctophilia.
2.5k · May 2019
sunflowers has yellow petals
Stephanie May 2019
of all the vibrant colors
yellow had been invisible to me
all the other had gone withered
but yellow breathe back life into thee
and I, a sunflower with a brown center
had never noticed the yellow in me
I am shining in the amidst of lonely winter!
my petals have endured strong winds
now I can see, I am stronger than ever,
no extreme weather shall defeat me;
for I am not just a flower
I am a mighty sunflower, I will not wither.
Proverbs 31:25
2.0k · Sep 2018
Walang Pamagat
Stephanie Sep 2018
Walang Pamagat
: A Spoken Word Poetry by Stephanie Dela Cruz

Malumanay ang pagkumpas ng mga kamay ng orasan
Sumasabay pa tong nakakabinging katahimikan
At ako? Nandito sa loob ng apat na sulok ng munti kong silid
Kabisado ko na ang bawat detalye ng kwartong ito ngunit ito parin, nagmamasid
Na para bang nasa ibang lugar ako, nangingilala, nagtataka
Tulad ng kung paanong maraming tanong ang gumagambala sa katahimikan ng sandali
Mga tanong na habang pilit kong hinahanapan ng sagot ay mas lalo lamang nagpapaalala sayo
Sayo at kung anong meron tayo… noon
Para ka rin palang kwarto ko.
Kilala kita, kabisado ko na ang takbo ng isip mo
Alam ko kung kailan ka nagsisinungaling kapag sinabi **** “okay lang ako”
Alam ko kung ano yung mga tugtuging hinahanap-hanap ng pandinig mo
Alam ko kung paano magniningning ang mga mata mo kapag nakakakita ka ng cute na aso
Alam ko dahil inalam ko, alam ko dahil ipinaalam mo, alam ko dahil ginusto kong malaman
Kilala kita, kabisado ko ang bawat tibok ng puso mo
Pero muli, para ka rin palang kwarto ko
Na kahit gaano kita kakilala at kakabisado, naguguluhan pa rin ako
Nangingilala;
Nagtataka;
Dahil kahit naging malapit ka sa akin ay tila parang napakalayo mo pa rin
At kahit gaano kita kakabisado ay hindi ko pa rin alam ang kasagutan mo sa mga  tanong na iniwan mo sa akin kasabay ng pag-alis mo sa buhay ko:

bakit.

Bakit ka pumasok sa nananahimik kong buhay para pasiglahin ito at sa huli ay iwan ako?
Bakit mo ipinadama sa akin na importante ako para lang isang araw ay ipadama na wala na kong halaga sayo?
Bakit mo ako nilapitan nang may ningning sa mapupungay **** mata at matamis na ngiti sa iyong mga labi?
Bakit mo ipinaulit-ulit ng bigkas ang pangalan ko na hanggang ngayon ay musika sa akin?
Bakit ka nagpakilala para lang sa huli ay limutin?
Bakit ka lumapit sa akin na parang isang apoy na nagbigay liwanag ngunit siya rin palang tutupok sa akin?
Bakit ka dumating sa buhay ko para lamang sa huli ay lumisan?

Ang daming bakit pero iisang bakit lang ang gusto kong sagutin mo.

Bakit mo ako iniwan ng biglaan?

At hindi naman ako tanga.
Alam ko na iba tayong dalawa.
Sabihin mo nga sa akin kung paano ko hindi bibigyan ng pansin ang sigaw ng mga kilos **** sinasabing espesyal ako?
Paano kung sabihin ko sayong pinakinggan ko ang bulong ng puso mo noong unang beses na inaya mo akong kumain sa labas?
Paano kung sabihin ko sayo na narinig ko ang pangalan ko sa pagitan ng pagpintig ng pulso mo noong inabot mo ang mga kamay ko?
Paano kung naiintindihan ko ang ibig sabihin ng mga biro **** nagpapahiwatig na ako ang gusto mo?
At paano kung sabihin ko sayo na nakita ko ang nakaukit na ‘mahal kita’ sa ningning ng mga mata mo sa tuwing magkasama tayo?

Hindi naman ako tanga.

Alam mo ba? Tayo ang tulang ito.

– walang pamagat

Kumbaga sa linya ng isang kanta ay “oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo”
Na katulad ng isang pelikula, hindi lahat ay nagtatapos sa happy ending
At katulad ng isang nobela, masaya man o malungkot, lahat ay nagtatapos

Sa lahat ng nobela, itong sa atin yung kuwento na hindi naisulat ngunit nagtapos
Natapos ngunit walang paalam

Kahit wala tayong pamagat, gusto kong pahalagahan ito
Dahil ito yung meron tayo.
Medyo magulo pero ito, tignan mo, naisingit ko na yung salitang “tayo”

Sayang.

Sana kumapit ka pa.

Naiisip ko pa rin gabi-gabi kung bakit ka lumayo
Patawad, naaalala pa rin kita kahit hindi ko naisin
Patawad, umaasa pa rin ako na babalik pa sa dati ang lahat
Dahil naniniwala pa rin ako na nobela tayo
At hindi pa nagtapos ang kuwento noong huling beses na humakbang ako palayo at hindi ka nagsayang ng segundo para lumingon sa direksyong tinahak ko

Naghihintay ako.

Mali pala ang pagkakagamit ko ng mga salita.

Wala pa tayong pamagat

Ngunit malay mo balang araw ay magkaroon din at habang hindi pa dumadating ang araw na iyon, ipipikit ko ang mga mata at ibubulong sa hangin na…

sana malaman mo na mahal din kita.
1.5k · Sep 2018
;
Stephanie Sep 2018
;
fraud!
she knew it, smirks, so she applaud.
-
lame. that was a fallacy
herself is the mistery

Have you seen her in the clarity of dripping scarlet riverflows?

she's still the secrecy of midnight that no one ever knows

Even hallowing hazy fog of cold could made us blinded

in this knotted ropes of white lies, dead end

Lowfully dare to follow her illusionary footsteps in waters

fraud. she's the one whose following your shady runners
she is the vulture and the prey;
the moth and the flame;
the wicked and the good;
the water and the blood;

Peace in your mind, her sojourn.

she's the only one who smiled in the midst of mourn

Mellow greetings when she entered the juvenile dreams

when the night visits, it'll be silent screams

fraud?

Eccentric.

she is an oxymoron but more of a paradox.
: a whole beautiful jigsaw puzzle who's made to be in thousand pieces...

PS. i leave clues
PPS. read with your heart and soul
PPPS. anyone who reads this, know that I love you. Because only those who really love me will want to read this crap right 'til the end.
PPPPS. thank you.
1.5k · Feb 2019
tumayo ka d'yan
Stephanie Feb 2019
oo nga eh, nakakapagod.
masakit 'di ba?
hindi lang ikaw.
'wag kang hahanap
ng dahilan para sumuko
marami na ang nagtagumpay
at nakasulat ang pangalan mo
sa talaan ng mga susunod pa
asahan mo na
mas lalo pang hihirap
mas lalo pang sasakit
ngunit tumayo ka d'yan dahil...


                                          
           ­                                             

kakayanin mo!
don't give up on your dreams because it will never give up on you.
1.4k · Nov 2020
👉👈
Stephanie Nov 2020
Do not promise
To love me to the moon
And back
I don't want that
Just love me
Right by my side
And do not leave
1.4k · Apr 2019
believe me
Stephanie Apr 2019
my dear...







you are worthy of the purest and sincerest love the world could offer.
the words i wanna hear too.
1.2k · May 2019
Homecoming
Stephanie May 2019
I was walking home last night
my focus is torn between
the road that I was taking and
of course you knew it, the moon
it is always the skies, the stars, the sun
the celestial and astronomical "buddies" that I'll always cherish
calling them buddies for they witnessed me
and how I was, who I became and why it is me
it is them that will always have a special place in my heart
and yes, of course, except you
my heart for you can't even compare to those
significantly no, there is a universe-far difference
you are my daylight in the morning
my sun, you remind me to shine with you and smile
you are my moonlight when the night comes
my moon, you shine a light amidst of inevitable darkness
my star, my constellation, I could adore for a lifetime
my sky, you are my favorite shade of blue :>
my world, my galaxy, my universe, my aurora borealis
and all of that beautiful phenomena...

I was walking home last night
I smiled because I realized, even my home is you.
feels like home to be back at writing poems again! <3
1.1k · Jun 2018
Kailan
Stephanie Jun 2018
Huli na nga ba ang lahat
Kailan mo masasabing hindi sapat
Ang bawat piraso ng mga durog na puso
Ang bawat patak ng mga pulang dugo
Umagos kasabay ng mga luha
Sino ang totoong may sala
Isinulat sa pahinang gawa sa tubig
Ang makatotohanan ngunit huwad na pag-ibig
Kailan nga ba naging tama ang mali
Kapag ba wala nang makapitan ang pusong puno ng pighati
Puno ng galit at pagkamuhi
Bakit hinayaang maikubli
Sinong nagbigay ng buong tiwala?
Silang mga nabigo't nasaktan at umasa sa wala
Pilit mang pagtakpan ang mailap na katotohanan
Sarili lang ang dapat protektahan
Wala nang direksyon ang bawat bukas
Na mabuti na ring ito na ang wakas
Ang dulo ang simula ng salitang sapat
At ang simula ang dulo ng lahat.
This is what Riverdale made me do.
1.0k · Jan 2018
Guitar Strings
Stephanie Jan 2018
I'd never tell you
But I can play guitar
The rhythm it makes
Harmonizes with the beat
Of my pounding heart
Whenever I witness
Divine goodness
I wanna sing
Sing louder the lyrics
Of unending grace
Favored upon me
Along this unending race
Every strum and every pluck
I know this is not luck
I am blessed
Even my fingertips aches
Though it brings me wounds
I will not care
For this melody,
Is the proof of symphony
That there is gain
After the pain
And for that I will play again
With all the love
My guitar strings
Dear Heavenly Father, I am thankful for all the blessings and blessings in disguise. Yours is the highest praises!
938 · Sep 2019
Ily
Stephanie Sep 2019
Ily
I can hate my life forever
But still love one part of it
And that is you
Ily.
935 · Feb 2018
Gradwaiting
Stephanie Feb 2018
six years in the making
put a liter of tears and toil
cost a million minutes of stress
and thousands of sleepless night

                         All will gonna be paid off tonight

six tiring years in the making
friendships come and go
but treasured ones are my four girls
been there through smooth and rough, but now

                         All will gonna be paid off tonight

six difficult years in the making
great part is learning knowledge
but the best is gaining wisdom
and the highlights are the shared memories

                          All will gonna be paid off tonight

six years of almost quitting
reason to stop believing: not found
been on the edge of farewell
few more inches before

                          All are paid off tonight

six years of hard work
none will be in vain
all the tears and pain
will turn into a beautiful gain
                              
                         When all were paid off tonight. :')
Just had our toga pictorial! Can't wait for the big day! I'm being really emotional. Fighting!!
811 · Mar 2019
we are our own galaxy
Stephanie Mar 2019
don't reach for the stars
in the galaxy
reach for my hand
and lemme shine for you
and with you..
00:00 | 07032019| mood: a love triangle between me, my bed, and my desire to go upstairs and delight in the midnight sky aaaaaa.
780 · Dec 2018
the poetess and her lament
Stephanie Dec 2018
i was reading my own poems













i cried.
Stephanie Jan 2019
two letter word and the goodness it held;
crossover the forbidden pleasure of sense
no sudden burst of supernova
shall ruin my assayed constellations
if million years do exist, why seconds don't?
but if I have to wait a light-year for my universe,
I will spell out a more magical three letter word
when the time has come and everything's in place
where would I be? in my universe?
I wish I'm with my universe, but first...
let me be drowned in my own bittersweet dreams
I'm not yet done in killing myself so I could finally live
if matter has space and has mass and so do I,
then why I keep asking "do I matter?"
the absolute value is not my care, to whom is
because for those who really care is the essence of worth
many claimed pledges were already burned
by the raging wrath of my trust-doubting sun
in a world full of lies, where should I start
to breathe the purity of painful truths?
so by then...
four letter word will rest in my soul again
01/12/2019 | 22:29
-- these thoughts are dangerous, they are suffocating my mind. begging me to let them finally out. guess i'm hiding myself in messy combinations of words again... :(
688 · Apr 2019
Ewan
Stephanie Apr 2019
apat na letra lang yan pero bakit parang ang daming kahulugan..
napakaraming nais iparating ngunit pilit na ikinubli sa apat na letra
kumakawala, pumipiglas ang mga patalim nitong may taglay na lason na maaaring magdikta ng libong sakit

at pasensya ka na, hindi ata nakarating ng maayos sa aking pang-unawa ang nais **** sabihin

"bakit ka ganyan, mahal?"
"ewan"
"may problema ba tayo?"
"ewan"
"mahal mo pa ba ko?"
"ewan"

pero mas masakit palang marinig na ewan din ang sagot mo sa tanong na bakit.

bakit mo ko patuloy na sinasaktan?


sige, wag mo nang sagutin.




nagsasawa na ko sa mga ewan mo



ngunit, putangina, hindi sa iyo.



nagsasawa na ko sa sakit na ibinibigay mo, hindi naman ito ang ipinangako mo pero ewan...

siguro nga'y mahal na mahal lang kita kaya't sa lahat ng ewan na binanggit mo isa lang ang alam kong sigurado...


hindi ko alam kung paanong magsisimula muli, ewan.. bahala na'ng pusong sawi sa pagbuo ng mga piraso nitong dinurog ng lapastangang pag-ibig na alam mo.
para sa mga nagmahal ngunit hindi minahal ng tama.
677 · Jun 2018
Nasaan
Stephanie Jun 2018
Nasaan ang dulo ng walang hanggan
Hindi ko hinanap ngunit natagpuan
Nasaan ang pangakong binitawan
Ang daang madilim na iyong inilawan
Ikaw rin ang pumatay ng sindi
Sa mga tanong na ang sagot ay hindi
Ikaw ang aking inaasam na sana
Sana masilayan kita sa bawat umaga
Sana ikaw na lang, ngayon at bukas
Sana hindi nalang ito ang wakas
Nasaan ang dulo ng walang katapusang ligaya
Kapag ba naroon na sa puntong hindi na masaya
Bakit mo binago ang takbo ng tadhana
O siguro'y una palang, hindi na tayo ang itinadhana
Nasaan ka nga ba talaga?
Ibubulong nalang sa hangin ang iyong halaga
Ipipikit ang mata habang sinasambit ang isa pang sana
Sana'y bumalik ang kinang sa'yong mata, malaya ka na
Alam ko na kung nasaan ka ngunit bakit?
Pangako. Magkikita tayong muli sa langit.
657 · Aug 4
Untitled
Stephanie Aug 4
I'm not even crying.


That **** is dangerous.
Stephanie Jan 2018
I witnessed the foreshadowing of my once bright sky,
How living memories started to die
Fathom my happy life instantly turn into lie
Give me a second and I fool everyone a treacherous smile

It began with...                I don't know actually
Maybe when people turned their backs from me
While their constantly saying that they'll never leave
They aren't even aware that in every day they did

Then, my fragmented soul, I promised, I'll be tougher
Like a stonecold in the midst of sober
Because in this universe, I am a one of a kind hue
That can't even blend with the beautiful colors of you

So today, I'll be climbing Mt. Forlorn
And dive in the deepest sea of thorns
So honey, listen to me, have sense of alertness
Even your own shadow will leave you in darkness
This poem is written out of a blast of pure imagination. I'm not depressed, I just express haha! have a good day, you who are reading this! **
606 · Jan 2019
Moonlight
Stephanie Jan 2019
I saw the moon tonight
round, full and bright
it reigns over the darkness of skies
down to my almost teary eyes

The moon followed me home and
I imagined it was you then
it made me smile
If it's with you, I want another mile

Tonight, it is so sad and cold outside
I nevermind, I would beg the heavens all night
tell the moon to embrace you for me
If by chance that you looked up too and see

There I was, I stole the moon and wore it
distant, but every night when I miss you
I'll shine to you, and tell the stars to do it too
Darkness can no longer hide you away from me.
590 · Apr 2018
Midnight
Stephanie Apr 2018
Midnight is a wonderful phenomenon
A transition of a last night and a new day
Just like how we said hello
When the night says goodbye
I never thought nor imagined
That I am destined
To meet such a lovely soul
I met my angel in the midnight
And everything's heaven since then
to my future engineer.
581 · Jan 2019
someday in our paradise
Stephanie Jan 2019
imagine, the time when we all learn the art of living
rather than just continuous breathing
there'll be no more lies
there'll be no more cries
we'll all have our sun shining through
and we'll look at the same skies of blue
peace will be at hand
and earth will be a happy land
wave farewell to the terror of the nights
terminated are the painful fights
For there will be no more battle
inside the heart of a love-filled human vessel
words synonymous to sadness will exist no more
genuine happiness will be felt down to its core
you'll be surprised at how forgiveness
could be the starting point of a new fortress
and it will be available for all
no more pain if anyone will fall
there in our paradise, you can sing and dance and groove
without the fear of judgment of how it is going to be not that good
there in our paradise, you can have enough sleep in peace
with still the urge to wake up, tiredness of minds will cease
there in our paradise, no complications to love
you don't have to wear a mask to be loved,
nor to pay for it, for to love only requires yourself
and in our paradise, there'll be no more lonely self
there in our paradise, no more broken nor complete families
For there will be only one, resilient over hundred calamities

yes love, I promise you all these.

what you imagine today, will be our paradise tomorrow.
yes, I'm gonna take your hand and your whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you.
555 · Feb 2019
thing you never know
Stephanie Feb 2019
you compared yourself
to the moon
hideous, unwanted
you shine in the night
when it's cold
some said you're beautiful
I believed you are
but more than that
you underestimated the moon
not knowing that
i am a selenophile
if you're feeling like the moon, you can own this poem. *sending hugs
533 · Feb 2018
inner antagonists
Stephanie Feb 2018
summer strike
dusty hell-like
burning trees
and burdened tears
I got melted
helplessly bended
til hurts no more
'twas a dark humor
they're conquering cities,
own inner antagonists
511 · Jan 2018
Hello Visitors
Stephanie Jan 2018
...

Darker than black
Newly folded laundry in stack
It's 19th of may
Everything went astray

I've searched beyond invisible lines
Reminisce the joy of Valentine's
Until it went a little strange
Distorted, glitch of change

Ten feet stepping on the wooden floor
Sneak in silence from backdoor
My mom's tulips still fresh on the table
My dad's toolbox now disabled

Visitors are kinda too funny
They have unique way of greeting my family
I noticed they had many luggage in them
I wonder how they come here without a car then

Tonight, the cold wind blows
Colder than a frozen rose
I missed the oven-fresh pie
Mom's apron is now red-dyed

Ronan loves watching tom and jerry
Today he watched live episode of same story
I run to him like how we play with our husky
But I tripped off and spill the glass of rye whisky

They help me to clean the mess
All I wanna do now is rest
I drained my energy playing
The game where I know I'm not winning

The guests are now leaving with smiles
Their boots stained linings of tiles
I couldn't wave goodbye
I'm too busy to give a sigh

It's cold here behind yellow light
uncomfortable and slightly tight
boredom reigns over here
still waiting for cops to be seer
Know that you who reads this is the cop here. Waiting for your deductions, mr./ms. detective ;)
471 · Apr 2018
Game of Hopes
Stephanie Apr 2018
I'm screaming
but there are no sounds
like how it torment slowly
my once innocent sinful soul
sees through my brown eyes
are the final hopes of life
I wish I could die in peace
than to live in this freezing breeze
have mercy upon me, Oh Lord!
Embrace me with your grace
And I'll know that tomorrow
Will be pure, calming white as snow
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing;  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters. - Psalm 23:1-2
425 · Oct 2018
in their fairy tale.
Stephanie Oct 2018
a thought visited his preoccupied mind again
as the galaxies are making its way to her
this man will wish  upon the stars
because he knew that they will listen
and all the celestial bodies will grief with him
when no one understands nor sees his pain
thoughts of her is the best he could think of
but why it is like the best things are worsts too
he begin to utter words of i miss you's
but no matter how loud it was, he was voiceless
just letting the tears drown him in such sadness
if time lapses are existing in real life
he will replay every second she was there
and skip every fights and every cries
no, life's too cruel for it to happen
in the blink of an eye, she became like one of the stars
there in a far away land of shining lights
giving him hope, giving them hope
but for him, she's not a star, not even the brightest
for him, she is the entire universe
that every time he will look above the skies
he will weep and after that is a bittersweet smile
a pure love that is severed in the land
will be continued somewhere else
and he believes
someday, they will meet again there...
in a much better place.
to all the postponed love that'll be continued in heaven, this is for you.
424 · Feb 2018
Zild
Stephanie Feb 2018
I grew up realizing perfection doesn't exist
But if it does, I think you are the closest meaning of it
Your hair again falls stylish without effort
Your dimples showing off
Your music tickles my soul
It touches the very strand of my allured mind
Your shine is more than enough
To light up my world forever- like in movies
I couldn't forget the day I saw you on the screen
You are making the huge crowd admire you more,
Without even noticing it,
They shout your name with enthusiasm
As my heart does when I'm never existing to you
Just plain. You and your bass, you set the stage on fire
You hit every note with the so-called "perfection"

I knew it was back then
I couldn't forget every detail of how you looked
I memorized everything I recognized about you
Curly hair, charming eyes, gorgeous dimples
They mean "perfection" to me

Sounds eccentric but my mind is dictating
That we should know each other, we must
Too bad, we didn't. Not even a single glance of dejavu
Our lives resides on different galaxies
No memories, no talks, no interaction - plain nothing
I tried to search our lost, stolen moments
But I got nothing but eyes full of tears
Begging the Divinity to somehow collide our stars
But no. Because I forgot the most important thing
You are the bright star and I am a dead asteroid's dust
A particle unseen in a vast majesty of celestial bodies
All I could do is watch you from here, lightyears away
You are embracing the sun.
A dust like me will never be the sun.
I'm crying. Zildjian, this one's for you. I really hate it when I admire someone too much that my admiration became equivalent to the amount of pain I felt realizing I'm just a fan. JUST a fan forever. But what should I do? I love being a fan of you.
Stephanie Mar 2019
he is an encrypted cipher
that no one succeeds to decrypt
except I, his devoted decoder,
will lovingly write his untold poetry;
let it be spoken, not in words,
but in the bits of his codes..
01010011 01000101 01000101 01011001 01001111 01010101 01010011 01001111 01001111 01001110
397 · Jan 2019
that man
Stephanie Jan 2019
that man...
he's a goner trapped in a physical flesh
he trusts no one
well, I guess
and hatred is feasting his soul
he's a stranger everyday and no one
knows him
that man...
he's good at deprecating himself
in his mind, you'll find an eccentric kind
of chaos
in his heart, it is over a negative hundred fahrenheit
-- stonecold.
but that is my man
he is a beautiful chaos
I see him as precious as a water to this earth
I want to hold him moreover a forever
until he bleeds no more
until he could smile a genuine one
until his heart becomes warm in my embrace

but my man clothed himself
in thick sheets of anxiety

yet, I will reach brokenness to cover him
with my love, I'll do it until it fix him

yes, I really love that man.
i love you so much that im willing to risk brokenness to hold you and protect you from any kind of pain
391 · Dec 2018
story behind raindrops
Stephanie Dec 2018
i don't know why
the rain is most hated
does it really denotes sadness?
what if the rain was there
because she loves the sun
and so whenever the sun isn't
there, she'll take over
what if the sun has runaway
to chase his lover
and whenever he's gone
rain will arrive to take over;
to save the day
yet i don't think she saved herself though
i saw her crying whenever
does she denotes sadness?
-- i think it's pure love
let's not hate the rain :<
390 · Jan 2018
An Elegy to Society
Stephanie Jan 2018
Maybe I'm not a good writer
Maybe I'm not that talented
Maybe there's no one who's interested in these combined phrases
Maybe it's only me I can become
But lemme ask you this, people
What does really matter?
Does it really matter to be good af?
Does it really matter to be **** talented?
Does the number of supporters really matter?
Listen to me, does it really matter?
Or does it only really matter to you?
Yes, probably the latter is true
Because you, society, requires everyone to please you
You requires everyone to be the way it satisfies you
You stole everybody's happiness
You stole everybody's reality
You stole everybody's identity
Laugh out loud for the irony
Because that "everybody" is the same society itself
Listen to me, can you please stop being that society to someone
To someone like me...
Stephanie Feb 2019
many will love a red rose
but few will love its thorns

many will like a blue sky
but few will not curse the rain

many will adore the moon
but few will actually gaze at it
but true love is hard... how far would you endure?
362 · Jun 2019
Leaves
Stephanie Jun 2019
I am a tree
The love I gave you today
is my leaf
There are so many leaves
in me
I can give you one or two each day
I hope they'll grow
within you
so when the day I die,
I could offer
my last piece of love to you,
My leaves will continue to live and
You will never forget me.
PS. My leaves will never wither.
Stephanie Jul 2019
I've encountered a beautiful poetry
the day I looked into your heart
I saw stories that could
make me listen in fondness
may deliver pain or happiness
yet it is worth every ounce of it
and unlike any other poems,
yours is the only one
that has the perfect rhyme,
a lullaby to my restlessness
just as the poetry itself,
the one upon you is mysterious.
still you are worth it;
you are worth seeking
I will devote discovering
every piece of you every day
Have I told you before?
I like poetry but...
yours is the one I will love endlessly

I love you.
you are the poetry that I need.
uwu
360 · Apr 2019
blurry
Stephanie Apr 2019
I want to come back home already
But the lights are off and I am nowhere
The road on the way home is blurry
I am gone.. Like your promise to be there
All your promises are now sugar coated lies
No answer but you left with so much why's
when the poetess is sad, she writes sad sestet too... with that ababcc form :(
342 · May 2018
Best Friend :)
Stephanie May 2018
tell me you love her
tell me you need her
while I bear those pain
while you poured me rain
as long as I'm holding you tight
I am the who will fight
for you, like how she didn't
as I do things that she wouldn't
you are safe in my arm
I will let no harm
even if it does to me
even if it kills me
to see you in love but not with me
I will comfort you til the end
Because I am your best friend
It hurts me so much to see you cry for her. Why can't you see that I'm the one who truly loves you? :'(
333 · Jan 2018
vous pouvez
Stephanie Jan 2018
You don't have to be a soldier
To win your own battles
You don't have to be a doctor
To heal your wounds
You don't have to be an artist
To paint your own life
You don't have to be a teacher
To teach yourself how to love
You don't have to be a chef
To spice things in your day
You don't have to be a pilot
To control the direction of your path
You don't have to be an engineer
To build your own reality from dreams
You don't have to be a musician
To harmonize your relationships
You don't have to be a scientist
To discover everything
You don't have to be a millionaire
To have everything

You don't have to be someone
To know that YOU CAN.
332 · May 2019
a poem for a cup of coffee
Stephanie May 2019
a great way to start a day,
and a peaceful escape from a busy loads of work
sometimes in the night, I spent a sip
a really cozy taste of a brewed milky coffee!
'coz why not? ??
it makes everything back on its place (my mood for example hehe)
no one would notice that it smells like home
but I always do so whenever I recognize
an espresso or a latte, I close my eyes and smile
it is more than just a coffee, it is goodness in a cup!
1:45am and yes, I have a nice coffee for some company :>
329 · May 2019
love will drive us crazy
Stephanie May 2019
and that is why
to be fool in love
is okay... I mean...
to smile for littlest reason
and sing lalala
the cheesy lines, PDA's
that's okay

but to fool your love
is never okay,
remember: you aren't a ****.








or are you? hmm
12:12 am thoughts
322 · May 2019
00:58
Stephanie May 2019
bawat kumpas ng segundo sa orasan
ay may katumbas na inaantok na pagkurap,
biglaan naman ang pagbuhos ng ulan
marahil hindi na kinaya ng mga ulap
ang bigat ng dalahin nitong ulan

ang pagtangis ng kalangitan
ang sa akin ay nagpatahan


ako marahil ang kontrabida sa istoryang ito




patawad.
dahil hindi laging tayo ang bida
at sa kwento ng iba, tayo ang masama...
316 · Dec 2019
●●
Stephanie Dec 2019
I am your home
Do not run away.
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