hinarangan na ng duda,
mga alinlangan at pangamba
ang mga matang lumuluha
hapo at balisa

halika, sinta, ihakbang ang mga paa
kahit puno nang takot pa,
patungong pag-asa, makakaahon,
makakausad, makakabangon

ang mga hapdi ay may hangganan
kung di pa handa, hindi kailangan tumahan
may kapanalunan kahit humihikbi
may tagumpay kahit ang puso'y sawi

sa dulo may naghihintay na liwanag,
may mga sagot na sisinag,
sa mga tanong **** bakit,
darating ang ginhawa kapalit ng sakit

I have learned that the simplest way to save a life,
Is to stay up with them all night

"I wish I have their life"
A generic script that we say
When things are rough
And life is hitting hard
But we only see the good point of view
People don't often share wars or battle scars,
Only pictures of victories and glories
We barely knew that every champs
Are also losers at night,
Ironically sobbing,  
"I wish I have their life"

I know I'll die and when it comes
I want no flowers displayed
I will hate you if you offer flowers at my wake
Why didn't you do when I was alive?
When I can enjoy the moment,
When I can feel special and loved,
It's unfair for you to give me flowers
At the time when I am withered,
Couldn't breathe,
Not able to appreciate,
And not able to say thank you for it.

Multiple pains a day
Is enough to **** me
The other way

My regret is
I didn't hug you tighter
I didn't say "I love you" as often as I can
I didn't give enough massages on your aching back
I didn't spend enough chats with you

I was too busy
I was too occupied
I was too depressed to be caring

I miss you and I miss you
I love you, I miss you
I'd do anything to see you one last time, hug you one last time, massage you one last time, talk to you one last time

I was waiting for you to come home from the hospital
But you come back in another home - in heaven

I will grieve forever for losing you

I love you, daddy.

They admire my strength, my bravery
And how well I carried it all
They said I made this far

I wish they knew that
Even after years,
I am still on day 1 of grief

The praise I get for being alive
Is a mockery for the pain I go through inside

Rainbow smiles
Do not match her lifeless eyes

I'm not even crying.


That **** is dangerous.

I never runaway
I was kidnapped
I was being tortured
My flesh are being pierced
I was being burned alive
My mind was corrupted
My captors are invisible
But does it mean they are made up?
All you did is to blame it to me like
The hell i've been was all my fault

many people would want to make me believe
that I am valuable and loved
many had promised to keep me on their side but
it's funny how it is 1:00am and all I have is myself
it's funny how foolish people think they are capable of what they promised to be
but it is funnier and even more stupid that people like me are believing such foolishness

look who's hurting

there is no safe place
i've been around the world
there is none
all i see are wars and terrorism
****** prejudice, wrath and rage
there is no safe place
that is an illusionary imagery
because we like to believe
we're safe and sane
we all are not
we are naturally born animals
born to survive,
will steal and **** if we must
we all are kings and slaves
of ourselves at the same time
there is no safe place
anyone can harm you,
avenge for yourself
no one else would do

I ain't afraid of the dark anymore
I ain't afraid of horrible loneliness
You know what I'm afraid of?
You and you and you
All of you.

You didn't even see it?
You disguise care as salt to my bleeding wounds
No one understand it at all
The more you come close,
The more it's getting crowded for me
My neck, my whole body, I am strangled
I can't breathe!

Every time you speak
You blow up a big paranoia in my head
Your bullets are betrayals
Your daggers are false hopes
You are already killing me

All of you.

still confused why sleeping hours
was dubbed as rest
and why do falling asleep
is just as scary as jumping on a dangerous cliff
how will I ever be at rest
whenever I lie down on my anxiety bed
all I feel is the burden of being pressed
through my mind and flesh,
weary, bothered and stressed
I was never at rest

Be freed
O' my wandering soul
Loosen those ropes,
Unpack and unload

The bridges won't fall
Don't be scared to step in
Your weight is not heavy
You're not who you think you are, definitely not what they think you are

You can go miles after miles
Forests after roads
Rivers after mountains
Paradise after deserts

Barefoot, but you won't get weary
Won't get thirsty nor hungry
It's time for you to be happy
You will rendezvous with serenity

Be freed
O' my wandering soul

My overthinking surpasses honesty
My anxiety and fears surpasses sincerity
I hope you do not grow tired of reminding me of serenity
-- like the old times, like before, like you always did
As I fix myself, I hope you are still there
I hope you will still hold my hand when I lost control of my mind
I hope you will still be a safe place for my destructive nightmares

And if time comes and you didn't,
Remember that I have truly loved you while I am hating myself.

I'm so down,
I'm so done
With no words in my paper
Only tear stains,
Only eye strains
And heart that is sober

It's been a year and a couple of months since we started talking. Who would've thought that it was you and me. Who would've thought that we are meant to be this inlove. I am more than glad to meet you and all the versions of you. You are always surprisingly amazing and lovely. If I could just express in words how deeply inlove I am with you, you would know better. I want you always. I love you always. I am forever grateful to have you. I am forever blessed to be with you and to be loved by you. It is your birthday today and I am the happiest to celebrate it with you. I am the happiest because I received a gift that is priceless and heaven-sent and that is you!

We will be celebrating more birthdays of ours together. We will cherish each moments and learn to love more from time to time. You are always in my prayers. Happy birthday, baby!


Sincerely,
Stephanie

You are a wanderer to my soul
Who keeps searching patiently
Until you found a love that I thought to be lost
A love that is shattered is never in vain
It doesn't even loss its value because it isn't whole
You pick it all up, you claim it
Like it belongs to you all this lifetime
You are carrying those pieces with every might you have,
Making sure that it won't be harmed anymore
Because you treasure it,
You treasured me when I thought I was nothing

Lord, I thank You for Your goodness to us
You are never failing
Your works are perfectly knitted by Your loving hands
I thank You for breathing life to our Cj,
You wonderfully showed us Your goodness through his life
Your grace flows in his life and we are truly blessed
I pray, Lord, that You will always hold him in Your hands
I pray that You will not lose sight of him,
Guide him, Lord, in every step of his journey and
be it always with You, always by Your side
Bless his heart, Lord Jesus, may he grow more deeply in love with you before anyone and anything else
Bless his mind, Lord Jesus, may he always find peace and wisdom  in Your promises
Bless his life, Lord Jesus, may he continue to be a channel of blessings to all of us for more and more years,
Bless him to prosper, Lord Jesus, may Your plans be the blueprint of his breakthroughs this 2021
Bless him to have a good health, Lord Jesus, may You heal every area of his life that needs healing
Bless him in his career, Lord Jesus, I pray that You will be the One to increase his skills, knowledge and abilities in order to accomplish more breakthroughs
Bless his heart, Lord Jesus, to always stay humble before You
Bless his heart, Lord Jesus, that he may be still when challenges of life are testing him
Bless his heart, Lord Jesus, give him the power and strength to overcome more mountains with faith
Bless his heart, Lord Jesus, may he remember Your goodness and grace all the time, especially in the hardest times of his life
I pray that You will send him comfort when no one is able,
I pray that You will hear him out when no one is there to listen,
I pray that You may give the desires of his heart
I pray that Your will be done in his life
and lastly Lord, I pray that I may be able to take good care of him, help me to love him right, to love him like how you love us.
We believe in Your mighty power, Lord
We believe in Your desire to hear Your children's prayer
We worship Your beautiful Name, Lord Jesus.
In Your Name, Lord Jesus, we trust and we claim victories and answered prayers,

Amen.

your life is a blessing to this world
you added an array of hope
to those who are weary like me
your eyes sees with mercy and compassion
if only others would see through them,
it would be a more harmonious place to live in
your hands are gentle and caring
it wipes away so many tears
your mind is a deep well and it blooms wisdom
you have the lips of an angel that speaks of good things
you might not realize it but your happy soul
is contagious and it feels warm
that is why you are so dear to many
but I ,
I want to make you feel loved the most
in every areas, in every seasons of our life
you are indeed a blessing that is ought  to be treasured forever
and I am indeed blessed to be the one to hold you forever

2020 is not enough to love you,
Let me still do for another year and more
365 days of I don't know
But I'm certain that we'll pass it through
Because I love you and you love me too
To more prayers that we will share,
To more problems that we will fix,
To more tears that we will shed and wipe away,
To more laughters that we will have,
To more ups and downs that we will encounter,
To more fears that we will conquer,
To more adventures that we will say yes to,
To more celebrations that we will rejoice,
To more mourning that we will grieve,
To more dreams that we will dream,
To more achievements that we will achieve,
To more memories that we will make,

We will be there, we will do it all together

I like me when I'm with you
I smile genuinely because of you
You give me peace when I'm with you
You clear my vision of a cruel world
And replace it with love
You are synonymous to a life I want to live everyday

You are that special to me.

In a space where the only person is me
Is a place that is both crowded and scary
I waved goodbye and smiled
But I'm screaming "don't leave me" inside my mind
I still wonder why I ended up becoming like this
Becoming my own past trauma
I want to run but how can I if they are feasting from within

20 years of wondering why
The happiest smiles are owned by loneliest eyes
I sleep for 8 hours and wake up so tired
I give everything I had before I realize I'm gone
No one has taken me away but
All of them let me slip away
I am willing to save you all even it cost my life
But none of you stayed with me in my burial

Your drive to do things is always valuable
You pour out your heart into the labor of your hands
You may not always see the fruit of it but one day you will
I saw you struggle but you refused to stop
You refused to give up when your will find its escape from your heart
When passion seems to be cold,
you stand firm and continued to move forward
You are so admirable and I am confident to say
That one day, you will attract breakthroughs
I  will be the first to hug you by then
I will be the first to shed tears of joy with you
I am certain that God pleases to bless His son with so much more
I see the worth in you, the potential you just can't see yet
I saw how precious of a blessing you are
That God made you with so much creativity
Sooner, you will tell a great testimony of God's goodness and grace

She is so fragile that no one can ever touch her soul without leaving a scar
But she would rather choose to be shattered than whole
She's fond of bleeding in love for the sake of affection
Others might think of it as insanity
But is it insanity to crave for the same kind of love she always gives?
If yes then call her crazy and she will pay you with the warmth on her smile
One day will come, when everyone will be so done of her curse
I pray that the queen within her wakes to claim her majesty
She was worthy before she even knew it,
She was lovely before anyone told her so
She is never a curse, but a blessing to this world

To shed tears and to share laughter
until the breaking of dawn
-- the only kind of break I want between us
We will make the sunrise jealous of our love
Because it is golden, and real, and everlasting
a tale of love that is serene and full of hope

I never met someone as beautiful as you
Enchanting, all that you do is lovely to me
I can't get enough of your lovely eyes looking at me
No number of kisses will be too much for me
I want them all
I want all of you,
I smile whenever I see you smile
Because it's the cutest thing I've seen
You are so special, how are you even real?
How are you even mine?
You are my great love, my great treasure
I love all of you, even the things you dislike about yourself
You are so perfect to me ♡

You are only allowed to step forward
Holding my hand
Leading us to a place where we are always together
Do not go far beyond the reach of my sight
Because I will miss you and I will be anxious
Let me be there when you are going
To rendezvous with your sweet dreams
And let me be there when you're nights are darker,
I'll be your light and your warm embrace
Let me be your certainty that you will not be alone again
Not anymore, I will not let that happen
I got you, I will be with you, always.

The foe I hate the most
In nothingness it makes me tremble
My strongest trump card is useless
I have never seen any traces
I have never proven its existence
It knows how to twist my beliefs
Even the memories I hold on to
I hate it because I'm clueless otherwise
Some nights it goes silent,
Then surprise me with a scream
But what scares me the most
Is that I feel it lives from within
and sometimes I just want to **** it

Maybe I have never really learn
How much I adore someone
Until I see you coming to me
With your uplifting smiles
After a long, exhausting day,
Bringing light to my clammy world
Your laughter is a musical that tickles my soul
Your brown eyes never fails to see
the beauty in everything,
The same eyes that saw the beauty in me
You make everything look so lovely
How are you this precious?
Just the fact that I've met you is already a wonderful gift
But here you are willingly sharing all your pieces of grace with me
You invite me to a better world each day
Wherein pain will not linger until tomorrow
Because you always reminds my heart to believe and have faith in my prayers
at the end of every single day
Yes, I do, I will admire you for all of our eternity

I have this bad habit
--pinching my scars 'til it hurts
Like it was stabbed yesterday
But you were always there
To patch the unseen bleeding
With your gentle, healing hand
And wiped my self-induced tears
You were full of my stains and yet
You were grateful to my art
That's how I know I love you
Not because you healed me,
But because you stayed
And you always do

It is you that I think of when I'm sad
It is you I that think of when I'm glad
It is you that I want to be with in my winning
It is you that I want to be with in my falling

When I was still in deep pain
I prayed for the aching to stop
And God gave me you
My relief, my joy, my comfort
My love, my everything
My overflowing blessing.

she is nothing but a coward cry baby
for those who never witnessed her bravery
she is nothing but a burden
for those who do not pay attention to her soul
she is nothing but an anxious, ill woman
for those who has no intentions of knowing why
but she will continue to blossom
for those who believe that she is always worthy
she will continue to add some array of light
for those who hoped for her when she was hopeless
she will continue to believe that joy is real
for those who never leave her side when she was grieving
and she will continue to be a soothing kind of blessing
for those who prayed to receive a blessing like her

I am not able to cross out
My calendar in the wall anymore
It's been days turned into weeks
I am lost on what date today is
But I prefer no one would tell me
Do not visit my home
I am busy doing nothing and
I don't want to be bothered
I do not know the answer to your
"How are you?" so please
Do not ask that
I am also not asking for advice
Do not tell me what to do,
It just annoys me
My laments are getting scarier each night
I couldn't put into words and can't help it
So I become grumpy and irritated
I wasn't able to take a bathe and I feel, smell and look like a real mess
I am sorry.
I hate to live like this.
I sleep a lot but my body aches
I tend to overeat or to starve
One minute I'm laughing, the next thing is I'm crying
Creepy because there's no trend
Label me crazy but never pity
I don't need sympathy from the same world that cursed me
My flesh was bleeding, but now I'm just waiting for it to scar
I hope it goes like that in my life too.
I hate this, double as I hate myself...

Do not promise
To love me to the moon
And back
I don't want that
Just love me
Right by my side
And do not leave

Why do you have to leave
Can't you hear my tears echoing,
Bursting when the moon is full
I do not want to be alone
In a cold, dark, scary place
You gave me light
In the morning but
I need it at midnights
In the woods
Sorry.
I am just childish
Because it frightens me
It is killing my soul

My lucifer is lonely

I am no better like a sad poetry

Atleast let me be the poem that I always am.

as my day is drawing near
all I wanted is to be one
with the air you breathe
be one with the summer skies
that everyone loves to see
and be one with the ocean,
the surface level that shimmers
in the sunset
-- soothing and calming

i don't want to be one with my storms anymore
in which you shivers and curse
if all I was emitting is a loud, frightening thunder
i don't want to be heard anymore

if remembering me would bring pain and bitterness,
i don't want to be remembered anymore

i would rather be unheard and forgotten


forever.

kung wari mo sanang kumalag
sa mga pangakong itinadhanang matibag
wag mo sanang limutin itong sinag
ng pag-ibig na nagbalik ng liwanag

nawa'y hindi pagsisisi ang kapalit
ng mga ngiting unti unting nawawaglit
bumuo ka ng isang sining na marikit
mula sa mga piraso kong lupaypay at gulanit

ngunit hindi ako isang malaking pasanin para sa iyo
hindi ako isang sumpang magdadala ng pagguho
hindi maaari, hindi ito ang nararapat sa iyo
maalaala mo sanang pag-ibig din ang paglayo


hindi ako nakakulong, ako ang tanikala
patawad, sinta, piliin mo ang lumaya

What a satisfaction it brings
When people are left off wondering
Search me until you are lost
I'm always close to nothing
Thought I was near but lightyears away
No one will ever know
The universe clothe my soul with galaxies
Which part of me do you love
Have you met me in all my dimensions
No one will ever know
I'm the kind of paranoia that bothers thy peace
Impulses are destructive so it did to me
I was buried in ocean deep of secrecy
A masterpiece of mystery.

I grieve on an empty grave where I should be
Til I'm drowning in tears, vulnerable and free
There are no monsters under my bed,
They are resting easy inside my head
That's why it's always heavy, as the skies are always stormy

Do not get drowned with me,
Even if I am reaching for your hands.
No, don't go.

​turned my music volume up
just to find out that
loud is unclear
loud is vague
but loudness screams
what our lips can't
and it satisfies us
we thirst for something
we can't do for ourselves

like loving.

I want to hear the screaming voices
That keeps your lips in dull silence
I want to witness the waves of devastating sadness
Behind your perfected calmness

Show me the way to your chaos and calamity
You are the only tragedy that I find worthy;
The only misery that brings serenity
Do not hide your scars, it makes you lovely

We are all wildfires sometimes that needs to burn
Put your rage in me and let me learn
How to be your furnace and when to return
The atmosphere of affection that you yearn

For whenever the darkness haunts to visit your night
I'll guard you to sleep and be your light

How many dives
Into the memory lane
Should I take
Just to finally
Fall asleep. 🙃