Quit while you’re ahead
That’s what my dad always said
And it’s great advice
But suffice
It to say
That’s just not the way
I operate
Because my heart won’t cooperate
With my mind
I find
That my heart wants to talk and to love and express
My feelings and quite frankly I detest
The way I make myself feel
Like I’m on the other end of a raw deal
With my emotions spinning like a wheel
Round and around and around and around
My heart twisted and stretched and wound
Up tightly
Nauseous and nervous and anxious nightly
And daily but rightly
So
Because I have nothing to show
For it
Just a few hundred terrible poems writ
And a growling angsty feeling in the pit
Of my stomach
And the desire to wear a fake smile
At least for a little while
Until the ******* begins to pile
Up again
Until it gets to the point when
I want to give in
When I want to stop caring and let the anxiety win
Anxiety
The thing killing our society
Slowly and surely from the inside
Pushing you down and causing your confidence to subside
Ripping a hole in you so wide
That you’re drained and deflated and fried
And feeling like an important part of you died
But anxiety is never satisfied
It will ruin your life with you powerless and along for the ride
But worst of all: it robs you of your pride
Pride
That thing that I’ve always denied
That I’ve had
The thing that I’ve been told my whole life is very bad
Because they say pride is a sin
But no pride at all is skirting that thin
Line between sin and what is fine
What is acceptable
So
Just because I want to know
How close can you come without being susceptible
To the pride before a fall
Because that hubris is perceptible to all
So it’s your call
Whether you want to stand tall
Pridefully sin and eventually fall
If you have the audacity, the *****, or the gall
Or if you want to let go and step back
And give in
And throw pride to the wind
But be careful
And if you’re religious be prayerful
And even if you’re not
You might want to give it a shot
Because you can be proud
Though the criticism will be loud
You can lack pride
And never have anyone on your side
Or
Furthermore
There’s one more
Choice
Stop listening to your inner voice
Stop listening to anyone who wants to keep you down
Stop listening to anyone who wants to see you breakdown
Start realizing you’re worth a robe, a scepter, and a crown
Start believing that you’re sourdough even if you’re wonder bread
Remember all the good things that all the good ones said
And when you finally get there and you’re positive in the head
Take a page from my dad’s playbook and quit while you’re ahead

Failure
Too familiar a sensation
One that I could use a vacation
From ASAP
Constantly flooded by thoughts and ways that
I could have done better
But these days that
Go by
In the blink of an eye
It seems that by
The time that I try
To do better I find
That I’ve failed
And if only I could say
that I’ve nailed
Down a way
to rise above that feeling of sadness
If only I could, just once, say I had this
All figured out
If only my actions matched my words in clout
I could, beyond a shadow of a doubt,
Make things right
Take things to new heights
Overcome the petty problems and plights
That plague my every day life
A life rife with strife
Rife with the pain of disappointment
Like a stab in the chest with a butter knife
C’est la vie
Such is life
Mon ami
My friend
But this isn’t the end
No
If you want we can pretend
Though
That it is for just a minute
So let’s stick a pin in it
And come back when we’re done
Because I won’t let it end ‘til I’ve won
At least one time
(Once is better but time rhymes)
Failure
Too familiar a sensation
One I view with indignation
Despite what good can come of failing
Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not hailing
Failure as some great thing
That we should all strive to bring
Into our lives and those around
All I’m saying is that failure is worth its weight in gold
Pound for pound
So I’m told
That failure is experience
Somewhere between godliness and expedience
Hastening our ability to grow
And adapt and come to know
The difference between wrong and right
But even if I know the difference I might
Still **** up and that’s okay
I remind myself every day
That it’s okay to fail
It’s okay that you’re in the part of this tale
Called life that you’ll make mistakes
Like rhyming the above with mushrooms known as shittakes
(Okay that was arguably bad
But sometimes bad rhymes are to be had
When you write at 3am despite needing sleep
But you compulsively keep
Writing; you can’t put down your pen and pad
Oh who am I to kid
Everyone knows that I did
This on my phone
Sitting at home eating garlic hummus alone)
Where was I?
Oh
Failure and success
A state of being best left to be assessed
By the one who seeks to turn his loss into a win
And that’s where we come back to that pin
From before
The one I said we’d later explore
So heed my words carefully
Or suffer more pain unendingly
Life will never treat you fair, fully
So it’s time to start acting comprehendingly
As in: comprehend what your failures will do
When you learn to use them to become a better you
Because life ain’t fair
Accept that and beware
That life may be unbearable
At times
(Just like some of these terrible rhymes)
But you have to find a way
To grin and bear it gleefully
Because as they say
Mon ami
C’est la vie
This is the end
Now
No more pins, rhymes, or lines
Just a bow
And an adieu
And a cow tow
From me to you
So that you take what I have written
And find the thing in life you’ve been smitten
By and do what you love even if you fail
Even if you whine and moan and wail
Until you’re sick and you grow pale
Until you learn to use your failure as a tool
As a unique stepping stool
Onto bigger and better things
Even if your failure stings
Don’t let it hold you down
Don’t let it make you sad and frown
Let it bolster you to try again
And then
When you inevitably succeed
When you’re at the top, when you’re in the lead
You’ll look back and wished you had read
This poem
So if you have sad friends
Show ‘em
This
And they won’t be sad for much more
(Just angry for rhymes made in poor
Taste)
But I promise this isn’t a waste
Of time
I promise this is more than a few words put into rhyme
There’s a point, which is this:
You’re going to try and you’re going to miss
Because failure is an option until it’s not
And when it’s not, there’s your shot
So have a positive attitude
Because life is as good as it’s viewed
—pin removed

i contend
you're still my best friend
there was a lot of good ****
and a lot of sappy poems writ
and a whole helluva lot more
but there were still bad times
and plenty of terrible rhymes
and you walking out that door
cut to your words “can we talk”
as the tears ran down your cheek
and as i turned to walk
away despite wanting to speak
about why you felt you had to go
because you didn’t have to, you know
or maybe you did
who am i to kid
you know i used to wonder
when i'd inevitably make a blunder
i wondered “how long until the day
comes that i drive you away”
and with how much i used to complain
i knew one day i’d drive you insane
and while you might not have been mad
it was clear that you were sad
and though i don't know quite how it was ever true but it was
so i did everything i could to bring you joy simply because
i love you unconditionally, it’s plain as day to see
that you are the world and so wonderful to me
and i'm sorry that needing words was so detracting
but instead of erasing these memories or redacting
them i have decided it’s best to include
all the good, all the bad, out of honesty
i hope that’s not rude
but don’t you see that all of it, beginning to end
is important, to me, my deerest best friend
i know it’s never news but i’ll still always confess
that i love you way more than i could ever impress
just with words or a poem or even a book
more than puns or a kiss or a pointed cute look
and it may not be what you want to hear
not right now, not for awhile, maybe even a year
but i love you
unconditionally
just to be clear
you’re light and you’re warm and you’re wonderfully pure
and i know that i'm certain, i'm one hundred and ten percent sure
you are the one
no joke this time
not even a pun
you are the light of my life
despite all of this strife
and i promise that will never change
no matter how much our lives rearrange
and unlike last time
when i ended without a rhyme
and there was no end to your frustration
you can rest assured and with plenty of elation
that this time, my deer
will be no different

“i set out to find a rhyme for orange
but all I could think of was door hinge
unless you’ve heard of the mountains of blorange
in which case you’re a fool”

and for a brief moment
i could see, for the first time, with my own eyes
the brilliance of that most worn and beaten
orange notebook
it sat there, on the floor
and i could feel its pain
all the years of torment
expressed openly upon the pages within
the anguish of grief
the sadness of loss
the fear and hatred of death
i could feel all of the emotions that had been bottled up inside
and it was simply overwhelming
all of that emotion
locked away inside
held slovenly together
by a single, thin, rusting wire
and encased by a brilliant, tattered, and fading orange cover
i suppose it is only proper
that the cover of that notebook be
orange
one of the few words in the english language
that simply doesn’t rhyme

i contend
you're my best friend
through the good ****
and poems writ
and a whole lot more
through the bad times
and bad rhymes
and remedial chores
despite all the words i speak
and all the feelings i leak
despite how much i bug you
to hear "i love you too"
and how much i mention
i need too much attention
you're still here
you keep me near
sometimes i wonder
when i'll make a blunder
i wonder when comes the day
that i drive you away
but no matter how much i complain
i never drive you insane
you haven't once said you're mad
it's never my fault when you're sad
and i don't know quite how this is true but it is
so i won't look at gift duck in beak because his
**** is what gives us the gift don't you see
that your **** is so great and so wonderful to me
and i'm sorry but thinking of your **** got distracting
but instead of deleting this line or redacting
it i have decided it's best to include
it because it gives this poem character and some attitude
but perhaps it is best to get back on track
now that i've talked about below your lower back
anyway what was i saying, oh yes
i know it's not news but i must confess
that i love you way more than i could ever impress
just with words or a poem or even a book
more than puns or kiss or a pointed cute look
i love you, dear
not just for your rear
but for your soul
just to be clear
it's light and it's warm and it's wonderfully pure
i know that i'm certain, i'm one hundred percent sure
you're the one
no joke this time, not even a pun
you're the love of my life
and maybe one day my grocery shopping partner

you are the one i dream about
the flower dancing in the wind
you are the love i dream about
what dreams are made of

you are the one i see at night
with eyes like snowflakes
like the ocean just before a storm
green and grey and calm

you are the sweetest girl i know
your smile the most addictive thing
it keeps me grounded through it all
but let's my mind fly higher still

you are the one i call my love
the love of ages past and ages to come
so hold me close and whisper in my ear
i love you, i love you, i love you, my dear

when all else fails, we have our love
i’ve said before, it's like a glove
i'll carry you when you're too weak
down every valley, up every peak
when you're in pain, i'll rub your feet
when you're ocd, i'll make things neat
i'll catch you if you fall down stairs
i'll caress away all of your cares
though you’ll take care of every spider
for i’m the wizard and you’re the fighter
when you need money, my wallet's there
you’d do it for me so it’s only fair
and when it's cold, you have my coat
i'll read you every poem wrote
every line and terrible rhyme
from now until the end of time
matching tattoos i can't wait to get
the showers we'll take, soapy and wet
and even when i overreact
i know our love will be intact
nothing will break the bond we share
for what we have is truly rare
worth more than platinum, silver, or gold
better than any bardic story told
it's priceless, dear, you know it's true
and conveyed with every “i love you”

oh, this grip, what seems to be
the power you hold over me
a hold that I cannot escape
like syrup within a tasty crepe
like old shoelaces, worn and ripped
like fries in chocolate shakes are dipped
or flapjacks on a stove are flipped
perhaps a moonlit serenade
perhaps some homemade squeezed lemonade
or simply lying with you in the shade
you see, these simple things, to me
perhaps are what our love can be

"heaven's not a place
that you go when you die
it's that moment in life
when you touch her
and you feel alive"

my fingertips
grace your skin
interlocked lips
where have you been
all my life

every moment i feel
your skin on mine
i know heaven is real
and you are the sign
heaven on earth

you touch me
and i melt for you
can't you see
what it is you do
to me, darling

you are my heaven
and as such i'm yours
one to ten: you're eleven
you're a sunday sans chores
i love you

a perfect moment
the twinkling lights
of main street
the sounds of
christmas music
softly playing
in the air
main street
filled with people
but none of them matter
only she matters
only her
she holds my hand
as we walk
we stroll down main street
and magic is in the air
magic is all around us
this is happiness
she is happiness
she is magic
her
and i
a perfect moment
the perfect moment

sometimes
when the words
won't come out right
when you know what to say
but not how to say it
or even when
you're just not ready
you say
whatever you can
you say
what comes to mind
you say
chocolate chip muffins
and that person
the right person
if they're the right person
that right person
will know
exactly
what you mean
chocolate chip muffins
yes
i love you too

your kiss
delicate
to the touch
my lips
on yours
we kiss
sparks
they fly
like us
we're high
when
we
kiss

our kiss
passionate
taste it
my lips
on yours
we kiss
magic
ignites
like us
we're high
when
we
kiss

"you're trash"
you would say
as you smiled my way
with a look in your eye
that said
"boy, what a guy"
a wonderful look that said
"you're wonderful" instead
a look that froze time
and stopped my heart on a dime

"you're dumb"
you would mutter
and cause my heartbeat to stutter
with a look in your peeper
that said
"my, what a keeper"
a stupendous look that said
"i want you" instead
a look as powerful as it felt
that caused my cold heart to melt

i sat on the edge of the bed
typing away while you dreamed
focused on working instead
but despite what it seemed
i was there, in that moment, with you
finding comfort, i promise it's true
stuck to your side like glue
every color other than blue
it's your kiss i find exciting
and your touch i find relaxing
in your presence i'm delighting
even if i'm just a bit taxing
no matter what we do
simply being near you
is my dream come true
but that you knew
i've said it more than a few
times before when we're together
our lives we've chosen to tether
through thick and thin and horrible weather
from overweight to light as a feather
it's true
plain to see
it's you
and it's me
happy

sitting alone
i check my phone
but there's nothing new

waiting for her
but i can't be sure
if she's waiting too

but it's getting late
i should do more than wait
because at this rate
i'll end up frustrated
depleted and blue

but all this, i'm above
i can't help but stare
for it's all out of love
and of genuine care
every moment i spend
i come to depend
on her soul touching mine
we've become intertwined
so perhaps she'll see
what she means to me
and why i long to see her name
grace the glass of my phone
and have hope she feels the same
and forever together be sewn

almost but not quite
doesn't seem quite right
but i won't make you decide
not tonight
perhaps another day
til then i’ll hang tight
but for now you'll have your way
because i know you love me, even though
you say you want to wait to show
the world that we're together
two birds of a basic white girl feather
tattoo

but you
you said we're together (basically)
but you asked me to wait patiently
though i'm terribly impatient, shamefully
but amazingly
to phrase it rather blatantly
i'm in love with you rather crazily
so much so i'll wait
until the date
until you pie me in the face
and shama-lama-ding-****, doll
finger guns and all
and let me know that you're ready for
all my love and more
for the title and the belt
(oh yes, there's a belt)
to be held in my arms and melt
as you hear me say the words i've longed to say
and finally have it my own way
when i call you my lady
and we're going steady
together until we're eighty
so long as you're ready

what you said
i can’t get it out of my head
try as i might
my brain hangs on tight
to every thread of every word
perhaps it sounds absurd
to think that i can recall
the moment you told me to wait, words and all
but i’ll hold on to this hope
like a dangling lifeline rope
until the day
i hear you say
shama
lama
ding
****
i hope i don’t have to wait very long
but in case that i do
know that i love you
and that just as you’ve read
i meant what i said

let's dance
now's our chance

je peux voir des jonquilles en dehors de ma fenêtre
les jonquilles sont magnifiques
les jonquilles sont belles et gratuites
les jonquilles me rappellent
les jonquilles me rappellent l'amour
l'amour que j'ai pour elle
beau et gratuit
parfois je rêve des jonquilles
parfois je rêve d'elle
je rêve que nous sommes ensemble
nous sommes amoureux
je rêve que les autres nous regardent de **** et rêvent de ce que nous avons
je rêve que nous sommes des jonquilles dans l'amour
jonquilles se balançant dans la brise
nous sommes sans soucis

quand je me réveille
je la vois
je la vois dormir à côté de moi
je me souviens
je me souviens que ce n'est pas un rêve
elle n'est pas un rêve
nous ne sommes pas un rêve
nous sommes
nous sommes amoureux
nous sommes des jonquilles
jonquilles se balançant dans la brise

i'll paint the landscape, curves and all
from the valleys to the rolling hills
i'll paint your landscape, peaceful still
as you allow my roaming brush to crawl
i'll paint your landscape, soft and slow
your canvas years to feel my brush
with every stroke your skin is flush
your pulse quickens and paint begins to flow
to paint the landscape i see in my dreams
the paint flows forth and falls into the seams
i'll close my eyes and let my mind run free
'til finally the landscape is as it should be
this landscape, flawed, is perfect as can be
there's beauty here as far as the eye can see

when i look to the skies
i'm reminded of her eyes
i see the same light
that illuminates the night
sky so bright
and brilliant

i look to the skies
to see where beauty lies
and all i can see
are her eyes staring back at me
so tenderly
with love

and as i look to the skies
above to watch the sun rise
and greet the brand new day
with a smile; i will pray
that she will say
“i still love you
i will always love you”

with a love like mine
you'll never need another
our hearts will align
and our pasts it will smother
we'll forget all the bad
and find comfort in us
our love is ironclad
and not at all superfluous
i'm the pea to your carrot
the wind in your sail
the medal to your merit
simply put: we're dovetailed
with a love like mine
you'll laugh while you sing
we'll be okay, not just fine
and overcome anything

it happened so fast
that moment in the rain
we were there by your car
i was going insane
i was flooded by passion
but held back by my brain
i hungered to kiss you
in that moment in the rain
but i knew that i shouldn't
i was racked with guilt and in pain
still i felt i just had to
and i could not abstain
i had to just kiss you
to state it simple and plain
i just had to kiss you
in that moment in the rain
so i leapt toward you slyly
with the intent to obtain
a sweet kiss from your lips
i could no longer refrain
"you know what i've not done"
i spoke without wane
"i'll tell you, but first--"
then we kissed in the rain
and as our lips lingered
after my coup de main
i smiled a clever smile
and of course we kissed again
and as we recovered
from the passion hurricane
i looked you in the eye and said
"i had never kissed in the rain"

and all the pieces fell together
as we interlocked our lips
i had a girl with snowflake eyes
and beauty on my fingertips

i couldn't help but feel all the
butterflies
fluttering around my stomach
it made me feel
alive
she makes me feel
alive
if this is what being alive feels like
i can see why most people are so afraid
to die
they don't want to lose this feeling
i guess
i'm in love
so let me tell you something, you *****
it makes me feel like i actually have something to lose
and that's a great feeling
these butterflies
in my stomach
they won't ever go away
i'm glad they won't
i've gotten used to their company

i catch myself staring sometimes
it isn't my fault
she always wears the ones with a little bow on them
i try to resist
but i can't
i can't resist her
i could never
i will never
she says that will all change
one day
she says i'll resist her
i'll be immune to her touch
but the truth is
for once
she's wrong
i melt at her touch
under her fingertips
in her eyes
on her lips
and her tongue
i will gladly be her all
if she'll be mine