You call me your lover, you call me your friend
But boy you have to realize our love has come to an end

You try to make me remember when all i want to do is forget
You know perfectly well I haven't just yet

Holding me close only makes me want to run
Just loosen up and let me have some fun

I don't love you, maybe I never did, for you never satisfied
All you ever wanted to do was play games, cheat and lie

You make me remember the times good and bad
You make me remember all the times you made me sad

I am not the girl you used to love, I am not child you fell for
I am a woman, not a girl, I have fought and over came the world, I am no cheap *****

You tell me you love me, you worship me still
But boy you don't know that you're heart I'll ****

You broke me, you hurt me, you made me cry
And yet you're still wondering why I said good bye?

You call me your lover, say that I'll always belong to you
But baby, the thought of loving you makes me all shades of blue

I have found a guy who treats me so very right
I spend most days talking with him long into the night

You tell me you love me, you don't know a thing
You tell me you want to buy me a diamond ring

Boy you know nothing, all you do is make me cry
You're like a fat catfish and I'm ready to fry

So run away child of my past, don't you know we were never meant to last
You should have run away from me, should have run so fast

I held you close once, couldn't live without you
And now that I am happy you come running right back, wanting to make me blue

I used to burn your sign into my skin, just to my loyalty
But you treated me like a slave, he treats me like royalty

He loves me, you never did, You wanted to maintain the life that you hide
He know me deeply, knows exactly what is down deep inside

What can you offer that he can't offer more?
He treats me like a queen., you treated me like a *****

You call me your lover, you call me your friend
But darling this torture you call love has come to its end

I have found someone who just cannot be compared to you
He is a King of the night, you're just a Prince dying for a fight

So go to hell and take your feeling with you
Because darling, we are now through

People don't fall in love with the death they see in me
They just notice the glimmers of life left in me

I like to run away from their love because
Everything that is around me goes madder then the hatter

I try to save them all from myself, from the monster in me
But tonight I am all alone and I need someone who isn't friendzoned

I lay in my bed, dead thoughts float in the deep water in my head
I would love to have a lover or two who know just what to do

But an undead lover is hard to find, they don't make them anymore
And I certainly don't want a human manwhore to come knocking at my door

So here I lay hating all that is alive and wishing even more of me were dead inside
I run all throughout the day, from the sunlight I try to get away

For the sun shows off my morgue styled scars and the blueness of my skin
But at night no body knows, no one gets who I actually am

I dress to impress and wear perfume to mask the rotting smell of my breath
No one seems to care that the putrid smell lingers everywhere

Our hearts beat faster then fast can be
It runs in our thick blood, you see?

I was nineteen when my heart took control
My breath ****** into my chest like a black hole

My body shook and trembled violently, I fell to the floor
I started to cry, begging my heart for no more!

Against my rib cage it crashed like the tides of the sea
You would have been just as scared if you had been me

With my hand on my chest, I breathed real deep
From my eyes long drops of tears I did weep

I tried to stop my hearts beat, so very frantic
I was oddly calm as I wept tears of physical panic

I knew it would happen to me... I just never thought it'd be so soon
The physical discomfort of my own heartbeat was like a monsoon

I held my breath and counted to ten... Trying to get my rhythm to still on it's own
My Mom from 47 minutes away frantically told me to go to a doctor, for what for my body to be shown?

So I laid in my bed and let my heartbeat go wild...
I listened to Modred's Lullaby remembering the lyrics from when I was a child

"Hush, child
The darkness will rise from the deep
And carry you down into sleep
Child, the darkness will rise from the deep
And carry you down into sleep"

Finally my eyes closed, and I thought to myself as a lines from  Haelstorm's song Mz Hyde
Resounded in my skull until it was deep inside

"Welcome to the nightmare in my head,
Say hello to something scary,
The monster in your bed,
Just give in and you won’t be sorry,
Welcome to my other side,
Hello it’s Mz. Hyde!"


I actually faded...faded away
How amazed when I woke up the very next day...

are you still there?
underneath all that anger?
do you still care?

or is my dead heart reading
too much into your words again
do i still have a part

of your heart that still beats?
or is your heart as dead as mine?
do you still burn for me?

or am I just a faded memory?
I miss you daily, the you I knew
when you didn't hide from me

are you still fire or are you now ash?
should I mourn or rejoice
at you coming back...

You Were Fire
Once upon a time
How cliche is that?
But it fits with you

I read a poem you wrote
And I knew I had to meet
The dark fixated poet

And I fell so long ago
Though it seems like yesterday
We were wrapped in each others

Lustful digital arms
You stared in my dreams
It was you I wrote about

You, the darling torturer
I, the willing victim
Sometimes I remember how you burned

Seemingly just for me, what a fool
I was to think you wouldn't change
What a little girl I was

Hoping to catch you and put you in amber
Keeping that fire burning forever
As I'd hold you up in the moonlight

But you changed... And so did I
I wanted things to be set in stone
And I didn't know fire... when caught tends to burn...

My heart can be compared to the northern lights
It is reflected in my dark brown eyes
That flash colors that no one can explain

Blues the base of all the other colors
All colors fade and melt into the blueness of my soul
My red passion mixed with my blue depression turns into a lustful purple

My hearts deep blue depths sparkle with life
Flashing strands of neon green rise from the depths to the surface and pool there

Embers the colors of vibrant oranges, violent reds and golden yellow burn in the deep blues
Making my soul look angry and aggressive
Though when the brave reach out to touch

They are not burned with the heat of fire but by the fierce pain of pure ice
I watch as if in a dream as my soul changes shape and color
Sometimes it's icy beauty takes my breath away

And causes tears to fill my dark flashing eyes
My soul has seasons like the Earth
Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall
Each season brings its own colors and feelings

It is an endless color wheel that is alive and fills the room with it's life
But sometimes there is no color...
And my soul goes black... and it takes love to bring the color back...