I want to save you.
To take your hand and help you run.
But you haven't yet realized
That you need saving.

And if you had
You'd say you didn't need help.
I want to whisper in your ear,
"I'm here. I can help."

I know you'd think it crazy,
But you'd come around and then,
I think you'd smile and chase after me.

And only once we ran out of breath
You'd realize your problems got left behind.

That's it's just you and me,
Alone with our freedom,
To do anything we please.
And I'll have saved you.

It's either off the rooftop
Or off the deep end
I have a fear of water
And I have a fear of heights
Neither option looks too pleasing
But if I don't choose for myself
Then someone's bound to do it for me

Trying not to let the ocean drown me
Trying not to let the sheets smother me
Trying not to let the fingers strangle me

But it doesn't seem to matter what I do
Where I run or hide doesn't seem to help
Because no matter where I go
No matter where I look
Everything is out to get me

I want someone I can scream abuse at
I want someone I can yell at
I want to angrily announce all my fears and flaws
I want to shout all the reasons that I'm broken
And they can shout right back

Because nobody has ever let me do that

And then when all is said and done
I want them to cry with with me
I want them to hold me
I want them to tell me we can take this together
I want someone who knows that anger isn't hate

I want someone I can feel every emotion with

I don't know what to do with you anymore
It all stopped and I think that's for the best
But I don't think that I like the best
I think I want the worst
The most unhealthy and painful option
I think I like that one better

Because it means you
It means you with me
It means your hands running down my back
As I play with your floppy hair

I feel sick as I say it
Because I know that it's wrong
It's toxic and painful and I should just run
But I don't want to and I can't tell if you know

I'm afraid of this whole situation
I never asked to be a part of it
It all happened so quickly and now it's too late
I want it and I want it so badly
But it's already gone before I can protest

It's for the better and I know that
But better feels worse
And that doesn't make sense

Sometimes it feels like
I'm just yelling into the void
My voice gets lost in the nothing

I can trail off mid-sentence
And no one even notices
Because they weren't even listening

Sometimes I feel like I could scream
And nobody would flinch
Since no one would notice it happened

Maybe I'm surrounded
By a ******* hole
And everything I say gets ****** away

But for some strange reason
I keep shouting, and screaming
Or at the very least I'm talking

Perhaps I have a ridiculous hope
That maybe one special day
People will realize that I have something to say

Imagine your entire life,
Everyone you've ever loved-
Or trusted a tiny bit.
Every single one of them,
Hurting you in some new way
At some point in time.

Imagine that they walk away,
As if they never knew you.
Not a single glance behind them.

Imagine how scared you'd feel
Whenever you met someone new.

Imagine how sad you'd be
When you sit at home alone.

Imagine how angry you'd get sometimes
When you see their faces.

Imagine how tired you must be
Knowing that it'll never quite be over.
Knowing that the cycle repeats.

Imagine that in me.
Imagine how hard that I must work.
To hide that story,
To fit in with society.
And act like I feel human.

Now you can understand
Why I've finally reached an end.
I can't go on this way.
But the thing is;
I can't change my past.