I used to think people thought about me a certain way
In my head I would belittle myself
Thinking they didn't like me

I used to think people secretly hated me
So I acted less superior
And didn't accept any accomplishments

I used to think I was right all the time
That was wrong
But now I'm wrong
For thinking I was never right
I'm right
I'm the person I am
And that's perfectly right

my birthday is coming up
faster than ever and i've
been waiting for you to ask
me what i want or do i
feel older yet or what i'm
going to do but you
haven't said a word and i
guess i'm just getting
used to that

I'm someone who used to love with all my heart
Until the only girl I loved just tore it apart
I'm someone who used to keep promises
Until the only girl I loved just broke hers to pieces
I'm someone who used to trust so much
Until the only girl I loved showed me why I should not do such
I'm someone who used to always truly believe
Until the only girl I loved made all those make-believes
I'm someone who used to choose to always stay
Until the only girl I loved just left me alone and stray

And now that someone who I used to be, is totally gone
Because the only girl I loved just used me, for the thing called "fun"

I’ve been pulled
and pushed around
all my life

Like a rag doll 

And it has ended up

Where I am just
going with the wind

Push me away

Pull me back
close

Mess me around

I dont care anymore

I’ve gotten used to

Being used

I can't truly be with you
Unless I leave out of the blue

We are the sun and the moon
One dies,
To let the other one arise

We are night and day
One sleeps,
To let the other one play

I can never truly be with you,
Unless I leave,
out of the blue

If I don't make you laugh on your worse days if I'm not the one that
you go to when you don't want to speak to another human being
if I don't put a smile on your face
just by you listening to my voice
If I don't make your heart skip a beat
when I say I love you
leave me
If I'm not on your mind 24/7
maybe even less
(so it can be an exception)
and if my name is not on your school notebooks with hearts on it
(maybe my name in a light grey)
leave me
run away from me
far, far away
if the thought of you not wanting to speak to me again crosses your path
on days you hate me
leave me
if I don't make you squirm in happiness
even if it's just by the simple word
of hello
and make you the saddest when i say
the simple words of just good bye
leave me
just please leave me
just please do so
because you deserve better and
there is someone out there
who will make you feel
the way I wish I could make you feel

so leave me

j.f

When I was little, I refused to get out of the bathtub until the water cooled down completely and my skin resembled my grandmother's.
Now that I'm older, I take showers that seem to last forever.
I feel like the water is washing away all of the bad, all of what's wrong with me.
I'll go outside in the summer just to stand completely still in the torrents of rain, waiting for something to happen.
After all, I learned in school that water is the strongest force on Earth.
That water can conquer anything.
Water shaped the mountains.
Water shaped my bones.
Water will change my fate.

Some people say I work too hard

I agree

I work too hard trying to keep my head above water
I work too hard trying to impress other people
I work too hard trying to suppress my emotions
I work too hard trying to 'stay strong' in the face of ridicule
I work too hard trying to keep my teachers happy

And honestly

I work too hard trying to act like I don't