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 Oct 2018 Moni
oddmanout
I'm Not
 Oct 2018 Moni
oddmanout
I'm fine without you

I leave bed a little bit less
I'm always tired
and my room is a mess

but
I'm fine without you
Sometimes I cry for no reason
and I'll blame it on mood swings
or the change of season

but
I'm fine without you
although I think of you all day
wondering why you left and
hoping you're okay

but
I'm fine without you
My friends have concern
they say I've lost it
and I'm letting my life burn

but
I'm fine without you
the rare occasions I'm in my car
I don't wear a seatbelt
and I'm headed to the bar

but
I'm fine without you
I really swear that it's true
I guess I'm spiraling out of control
but it's not because of you...
 Oct 2018 Moni
c
Accounting
 Oct 2018 Moni
c
I spent last night
Crunching numbers

10
Times you led me on

9
Nights we stayed up talking

8
Weeks since you decided I wasn’t worth it

7
Crushed up poems on the floor of my room

6
Outfits thrown aside to make sure I look my best

5
Days I spent trying to get over you

4
Friends that know what we did

3
3 a.m FaceTime calls

2
Coats of mascara

1
Big regret
 Oct 2018 Moni
Nikka Arabestani
I was the sand
and you were the ocean's waves.

You'd come towards me,
but never stay.
to a lover I will never forget
 Oct 2018 Moni
Chloe
Like an old friend inviting you to come inside.
Familiar. Comforting.
It will grasp you in its arms and hold you close;
And when you're ready to leave, it wont let you go.
You will beg and plead to be happy,
and it will put up a fight.
It will make you think that the only way to escape it is to take your own life.
If you are lucky, you can break free;
and it will sit and watch you from afar.
Calling your name.
Welcoming you back into it's arms.
It will intrude your thoughts.
Make you think you are worthless.
That you're better off dead.
Just keep telling yourself that it's all in your head.
Keep moving. You will get far.
Depression is not who you are.
DISCLAIMER: This is only from my personal point of view and how my battle with depression has been. Even though I am trying to recover, the battle gets very difficult for me sometimes and I have to remind myself that I am not my mental illness. My mental illness does not define me.
 Oct 2018 Moni
nooneknoes
im sorry guys,
but this may be my last goodbye.
my mind cant fight anymore.
my body is starting to fall apart too.
what am i supposed to do?
im just tired.
but my mind can't rest.
my family wants me alive and to thrive,
but i don't know how.
im so sorry to everyone.
i don't even know who will read this or care.
but im tired of this and don't know what to do anymore.
maybe ill text a hotline or something idk
its the same thing everytime.
i go to the hospital,
and they treat my wounds,
and admitt me to the psych ward,
and i fake it till they let m go home.
what do i do?
everyone just says keep fighting and it will get better.
i have my blades,
and i have my ways.
why do i have to stay?
i know why i should stay but...
idk
does anyone know what to do?
 Oct 2018 Moni
Meruem
Habang sinusulat ko itong talata,
Ikaw ang aking naaalala.
Kung ito man ay iyong mababasa,
Sana'y mag-iwan ng magandang alaala.

Hindi inaasahan ang iyong pagdating.
Pagod kong puso, iyong ginising.
Buhay ko'y binigyan ng ningning,
Ikaw lang ang gustong makapiling.

Sa kabila ng lahat ng mga nangyari,
Iyo sanang mawari.
Na ikaw ay laging mananatili,
Sa puso kong ikaw lamang ang nagmamay-ari.
Langga, sorry kaayo sa mga kasalanan ko sayo. Pinagsisisihan ko lahat. Hayaan mo, hindi ka na iiyak ulit. At wag ka ring mag-alala. Sa pag-alis kong to, lagi kong bitbit yung mga magagandang alala at bagay na binigay mo sakin. Kahit san man ako magpunta, ikaw pa rin yung nagbibigay ng dahilan sakin para maging mas mabuting tao, para alagaan ang sarili ko. Sana hindi mo ko makalimutan. Sana maging masaya ka. Alagaan mo sarili mo. Mahal na mahal kita, at sobrang mamimiss kita. ~

Ps. Patuloy lang akong magsusulat ng tula para sayo. Kapag masaya o malungkot, dito nalang kita kakausapin. Dito ko nalang ilalabas lahat ng gusto kong sabihin.
 Sep 2018 Moni
Isabelle
savagely
 Sep 2018 Moni
Isabelle
i love you
so savagely
that i pluck
you out
of your roots
only to plant you
in my heart
and water you
with my love
but my love
turns out
to be lacking
so slow
you suffocate
in my ribs
you start
to wither
so i water you
with my blood
my tears
but still
not enough
so slow
you wither
so slow
you die
caged in my heart
i loved you
so savagely
yet my love
you died
.
yet you died...
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