one will find a problem to solve
one will find a problem to complain about

Descriptive words
they make us feel something inside.
Words like "heart pounding"
Can create a feeling of love or fear.
The use of temperature and color can do just the same.
Saying "the warm Sun colored leaves fell onto the sun baked ground"
Will never have the same feeling as "the dull colorless leaves fell onto the cold forgotten ground".

We see so much in words
Things that aren't even there.
Our minds try to fill in blanks with emotions we thing we should feel when we see them.
Our minds create pictures from words.
But the pictures can never be explained with words.

We hang on to words
We do it too much!
we hang on for so long
We forget what they originally ment.
We forget the emotional attachment we had with it.
Whether it's from a lover or friend or enemy.
We cling to words for the wrong reasons!

We can attach to words for power or confidence
We do it for Pease and war
We do it just for hope that someone will feel the same
about one word.
Any word.

Do you ever change your character?
Do you ever change when you talk or listen?
I have. I do.
I change every time I interact.
I don't know who I am.
I can't even control it.
I'm influenced too easily.
I have to talk to same way as them.
I have to laugh, hear, smell, breath, THINK the same way.
I have no true character.
I change too much.
I'm a splatter paint picture of a character.
But none of the paint shows my true colors.

the more i try to change myself
my more i see who i really am.
depression kicks in when i try to change.
who i wan't to be is a nice, fun loving person.
BUT I CANT
deep down, I am a dictator.
I need to have control over others.
I need to be able to feel the power!
Knowing that others fear me gives me strength!
but what i really want is for people to feel the way i feel.
yes, I am a dictator to people with less power than me
but i am a slave BY CHOICE to others with more power!
This is my biggest fault!
I CAN'T STAND A FEELING OF DISAPPOINTING SOMEONE!
IT BREAKS MY SPIRIT!
I do everything in my power to reverse it!
This disappointment reflects back into me.
it causes my to want more power.
it causes me to get more out of myself.
I become a stronger dictator on myself.
This drains me to nothing.
The only thing that can restore it is power.
Power over others.
an endless circle of authority.

You've made it to a safe spot in life.
Great job keep it up.
This right here is the calm before the storm.
The eye of the hurricane.
The only safe spot.
The only place to recap.
Tomorrow will be 30 times harder.
the day after will be 60 times.
So now you have only two choices:
try to run away with fear,
or run head first striking fear.
You don't need a plan,
but there is one thing you NEED to remember.
there is NO turning back once you jump in.
Once you light one fuse, they all go off.
So walk, run, jump, clime, and crawl your way through.
Make allies and make enemies.
I'll see you on the other side for the next battle.

If you asked me the question:
“what’s the one thing you want to do before you die?”
I’d say I want to meet the cat who lives outside.
The cat that meows day and night.
The cat that keeps his face out of sight.
The one that will cause the biggest commotion
But will look with wonder and aw with the most precious notion.
The kitty that yells out that people aren't clean.
Meowing at everything but is never seen.
The one who hisses when he doesn't know I’m listening.
I can’t help but listen to the things he knew.
It’s the only thing I have the power to do.
The very few times I've seen him,
He never looks the same.
I don’t know what he looks like
I only know his name.
I wish I knew the way he appears
The way he laughs, or cries, or stressed, or in fear.
All I can do is guess from what I hear.
He talks about leaving.
So long I would be grieving.
Places too far away for me to see him.
Too far for me to do anything.
He might look at me and be grim.
But all I ask for is a chance
A chance see who that cat really is.

I've never seen anything like you.
Someone that works so hard for what he wants
And never gives up on anything.
You’re so loving and daring.
You still have the same energy from when you were a puppy.
I loved when we took our long walks and you pointing everything out.
You’re able to remember everything.
You keep coming back to me and I want to keep you forever.
But sadly I am becoming allergic to you.
Every time I want you to stay, I begin to feel pain.
I know how happy I make you and how you never want to leave me.
And me, I just want to have you by my side till the end of time.
This allergy has been getting stronger and stronger.
I wish it never came up.
You make me smile and laugh and I just want to keep you close to me.
Maybe over the years it will calm down and I can play again.
Until then, know that you will always be
My buddy, my pal, my best friend,
My hunting dog.