The vast shadows, that cross along the body of a doe
Five legs that sink into the snow, hooves that are breaking
The cabin above the tree line, in this valley of dead pines
A solemn gaze upon a world that is sick and diseased

Here is what is craved, the sensation of seeing the blood, the lifeless flesh of something once person
The blood that seeps from the open head wound, the scattered matter of brain that paints against the ground
Like a lullaby for our apathetic ears, we tune in to the morbid display of death
Look for the pain, in the face that is blown off, can you see the fear?
Only do you see flesh, bloodied flesh, ripped and shredded
Is their satisfaction yet? I hope it can come quick
Was it worth this? Can you appease that fanatic hunger?
Listen to the lullaby we create for you, our electronic, angelic hum
Feed the black claw that reaches from your skin
To touch the corpse of your satisfaction

I wanted another night in the skyline of neon angles, listening to their buzzing and soft humming tunes, the scent of humanity permeating in the air

I wanted to become a coyote, to roam to desolate futures of shattered selves, and despaired youths

To sink my skin in the red clay earth, to grow my leaves to highest reaches of the cosmos, touching the stars with my withered green

To become the darkness of a forgotten structure, to observe the hollow masses that walk around, to become serene in the fire on horizons

I wanted to become songs of forgotten happiness, to take my leave to pools of sorrow, and seep away my mind to the tales of heroics

I wanted to take solemn steps in old Venice, to become the whispering finch among the waters, and sing away what life I used to know

To shed away God's black tears, and jump from the edges of your senses, to the oceans of sand that lay beneath

To run my body through fields of orchids, to feel the wonder of solidarity, to become the scent around in this earth

To scream from the tops of fallen titans, to lay my body to rest on their shoulders, and for a moment feel like one of them

To be Alpha & Omega, to be the riverbed that supports the waters of life, to understand the minds that lay in these rocks

I wanted

The time will never come back, a wound that will never heal

It’s a crushing blow to the mind, a painful cut to your emotion

Closure is the hymn you wish to hear, time is the service that you want to last forever

Nostalgia to blur out the moments of melting sorrow, those buzzing moments of confusion of doubt

The time will never come back, so we must go forward with the time left

To go forward in resolve, for you are the creation and end, the alpha and omega, the one to see the path to its final pyre

Go with strength and hope, you’ll find that shade to lay in, with warmth in your bones, and love on your sleeve

Go forward, the time can never come back

There is no grace with these decayed churches, only hate and ignorance in these pews

You wail of love and understanding, oh how wretched you can truly be

You'll burn the ground you stand on, and burn your own flesh, just so your ignorance is protected

The faith you hold is a very ****** thing, it's poison to the innocent that you say you love

The few who do not wish to partake these actions, who say it is not all of their congregation

It does not change the ignorance, if it bothers your soul as so, you are the few who must have the want to change it

Being apologists does not excuse you, you stand idly by while the other wolves cause suicide and self hatred

Oh how the church is a joyful thing, joy for their own greed and hatred, believing they will get to heaven

How very strange, and yet sad

We lost ourselves a long time ago

What stands isn’t bone and flesh, no pulse, no feeling

Something very jaded, apathetic, bitter

Maybe it was always that way

And those hurricane songs washed the paint away

To reveal the cracks that were always present

And when another body lies dead in the locust’s pit

Will walk over it, like it never was anything

But a body

The rains is falling harder

And it is become acidic

Now my skin is just matter

Disappearing away, becoming thin

Staring into that foggy curtain
That drapes across the forest window
Hiding all the creatures in cloaks
Blurring all the paths with annoyance
So you must walk as a stranger
In a land made of twilight shadows
With you eyes focused to the ground
Your hands gripping at themselves
Waiting for the surprise to strike
And cut your throat in a shower of maroon
But all the while you must remanin stoic
Lest you find yourself no longer on a path
But in a maze

How mornings sing with hymnals and nursery rhymes

It sounds with a grace and damaged beauty

How your awakening feels ill tempered and quick

The sunken eyes with black and grey tapestry

How they look as graveyards in the spring

They gaze out to the world beyond walls, it’s something that wishes for eternal slumber

Everything begins at zero

All beginnings, never start with one

Zero is the inception

The eternal nothingness

The unsure fate

The restless abyss

The infinite zero

You think this is a heart of light, you smile while the blood of the innocent paint the ground, were the bodies lay

It is a heart of darkness, a heart of hatred, it beats in the shell of human greed and ignorance

The sun always shines, and there is always a new dawn, but those that are dead won’t ever see one again

It is never easy to take the truth, to take the stark reality of darkness, but joy is not a simple remedy to it

For it is a wound that will fester, and that will hurt, but it must be so to keep the mind aware

For things are not alright, this machine is bleeding to death, and we are trapped inside of it

This heart of hatred is a immortal beast, it always has been around since humans made God

We will never see change, for we deny that there is a problem

We will never see justice, for we believe it is truly blind

Progress is a philosophy that shines in the hands of the passionate, but is strangled by the hands of the ignorant

We will see more sorrow, more death, more tears

And yet we will do nothing, for we are devoid of sympathy and human decency

We have become what Christ didn’t die for, we are merely beasts of hedonism and pain

I know you see the world burning around, those sorrowful tears of despair in your eyes, streaming down like the waters of Peru

But I am going to grasp you close, I don’t know how much youth we have left, but I know I wish to spend it with you

I won’t whisper sweet nothings to you, I won’t partake in giving you roses, I won’t promise I’ll be around forever

I tell you in clear tone, that I wear my heart on my worn out sleeves, that I see you and I see why life isn’t always darkness

I’ll take you to the rivers I walked before, and tell you my memories, and how I wish to make new ones with you

I’ll tell you that I’ll die one day, and that I wish to make it count, so I’ll take my seconds being around you

You aren’t a waste among this earth, you are the lotus among the thorny vines, the magnolia against the pouring rain

You are the temple in wish I find sincereity, you are the docile lake were I look at the mirrored stars above

You are the roaming fox, among the foggy woods, encumbered by dread and sorrow

You are the realm were fantasy becomes real, were dreams take forms of plausible smiles

You are what makes the doubt become dust, you are the breath that blows it to the eternity around

You are the astral spectical of crystal amazement, you are the life inside the dreams of love
You are something amazing, something special, something extrodinary

The discomfort of self, the sheath of truth crumbled by the church preaching ignorance and bitterness

God does not look upon you with grace and love, this is what they tell you

You are poisoned, grotesque, morbid, monstrous, and vile

You are the product of mistake, you are the cancer that is destroying this already decayed society

We did not do this, it was you

We stayed in our homes with our wine and hate, we abided by the rules, but you didn’t

We made those rules to keep you in line, why did you think you could say they were wrong, because you are a human too?

We built our castles of sand and limestone with our own hands, we built them upon the bodies of the meek and helpless

We honored their lives by casting their lives as our own, we bastardized their marrows with our own

We told you what you are, but you say you are something else, if only you would follow us you would be happy

We are the solution, just adhere to our creeds and rules, while we punish and demonize you for your self worth

This is the motion we have made in stone, stained by blood and sorrow, this is what we say, this is what we sow

Our time of punishment will never come, there is no fire coming to burn us

We hide that fire in our closets, the smoke is only an illusion to us

We are not beasts, we are not vile

These are not fangs dripped in innocent blood, these are not claws marked by tears and pain

We have dressed them up in suits and dresses, we are the wolves among wolves

You mark us as the problem, how dare you, we did no such thing

We only lit the fires to keep you warm…

We will not burn, for we are made of hide and steel

You will suffer for going against us, for trying to be yourself

We will start wars to keep our order, we will torture to keep our peace, we will bully innocents to make them conform to us, we will **** to keep our power

The discomfort of self, the sheath of truth crumbled by the society preaching ignorance and bitterness

There is light in the world, there is no need to argue about it so

But we must not let that light blind us, for there is an inferno among ourselves

And it grows deeper with each apathetic minute

The room painted in crimson
The body posed with biblical grace
Heavy breathes are the only presence
A stunted panic in them
There stands the beast
Or so we would say
But as human as the rest of us
Why it occured?
That is where the pain lies
Not in the death
But in the meaning

Rare it seems that I am, a creature of idiosyncratic eccentricities

To some it is a badge of individuality, a crest of creative virtue

For this soul, it seems to be nothing more than just sorrow

To wade around in the waters of humanity, floating with stunted breathing

Never catching on to limbs, rocks that could become my sanctum

Looking at the sky in hurt, wishing to float away from it all

To see the infinite wonder of the cosmos, where I feel I would belong

And maybe it is an attitude of naivety and pretentiousness that I carry

But no joy is taken from it, only dread and somber rains in my hands

And hurt is given to others, from this

There’s no amount of poetry that can mend a pain, there aren’t enough romantic words in the lexicon of languages to mend sorrow.

To live around venom everyday is a challenge, to have your character attacked or ridiculed on constant basis is a deep abyss in the heart.

To be told you are waste, not the same, not following, sinful, confused, submissive, ignorant, flamboyant, deviant, *****, unhealthy, heavy, obese, loose, lustful, primal, degenerate, ****, faking, crazy, miserable  words of the ones that don’t fit against the normal waves of society

It’s easy to say ignore, it’s docile to say just let hate slide off of you, but humans don’t simply remain happy under constant sorrow and hate.

We don’t live in a reality of fairness and equality, no docility or friendliness, no mutual respect or kindness

Those who say we do, are ones that don’t see the darkness that is evolving and expanding around.

Loneliness is a very blunt hammer, that crashes against your walls as you sleep

It keeps you up at night, haunting your mind with ghosts of crippling doubt, and silver demons that cut at your skin

It makes your mouth dry, it makes every step feel heavier, it makes your eyes bloodshot with anxiety

For it is a sinister thing, it creeps into your skull and burrows into the grey matter

It makes your lungs feel constricted, and your tears heavy with salt

It makes your fingers bend against the window pane, your words choke againt your bleeding teeth

As you sit in your slumber, and feel thw hollowness in your bones

Lonliness is a grotesque beast, that lays with you in the night, and whispers deathly hymns to your soul

It’s a insidious thing, a truly isolating angel, a god that seeks to punish

I can hear the coo of the morning dove, echo in the sunlight

Refracting against the dew of green tombs and graves

It searches for its lost love, in such desperation

In my sadness I hope it finds that love

I am a scavenging animal*

An emaciated coyote with ****** flesh

And worn yellow eyes



They say, your life isn’t so sad

              Your family isn’t that bad

You aren’t their envy and blame

               They always treat you equally and sane

You are just pissy and whinging along

                You should just cheer up, listen to a song



if ignorance was currency I could feed my bloated stomach

       For every individual seems to give me a deposit

              My nails are cracked and brown with dirt and blood

And my eyes sting from the lack of hydration



My poverty my only identity

The moaning of others, overlaps my own crying

My happiness locked away somewhere in my chest

And I can’t ever open it



Seeing others glide along so easily

                    And every step I take I get weaker and weaker

My friends all but long gone

                       They didn’t want to deal with a ****** face



So I am wandering for hope

In burning cars and empty trash cans

            Wishing that the sky above

               Would swallow me whole



                                

                                     *And away into another existence

Thank you, for this life

My arms are weary for reaching to a heaven

That is as close to the earth as the graves and dead pigeons

Close to the coyotes that roam a white trash kingdom

Mothers smoking Camel cigarettes, with the fathers drunk in insecure manhood

Close to the TV static hissing like a snake, hoping that it will bite me to a quick death

Thank you for this fruitful land, of abandoned cars and stickers on bumpers of an idol called Christ

When he returns lets hope he sees this heaven, is better than the one he’s got

Thank you for the calls of the crows, as they sit in pines above homes filled with bruises and emotional crescendos

This land that has this heaven, where the teenage suicide is okay

For they were different, loving the same ***

Every home as stable as the glistening ice on the sun’s smile, crooked with teeth so black

With the hate of one’s own abyss, blaming to the black and brown

What a heaven on earth, with the magnolia’s as supple as the honey of puffy sorrow tears

Thank you for this place, this heaven on earth

Melting rain sprawling on the asphalt, mirroring the desolate buildings around.

With the beat down pick up truck parked near the gas station close by, it’s occupant smoking there last cigarette.

A smokestack stands alone near the lake, radiating a feeling of isolation, an obelisk of stasis.

Driving along seeing around, a town filled with failed lives and Leviticus in minds.

A masking plume seeps from the mouth of the stone giant, it exhales a heavy song of sorrow.

So many details that give a feeling of dread, driving past these images everyday kills the hope of getting out.

The blurred lines of reality and romantic denial seem to shape the mind. And I’ll ponder this dread, in the middle of gods belt, with the true masses of the country.

Here is the world, under a bleeding moon, silver as the demons songs of the bamboo groves

It sings and dances the eons away, blissfully ignorant to the horrors that happen around

It has the mind of a child, it sees the world with the sun as a beacon of hope, but it only becons chaos

Here is the world, as a yawning dog in the eves of summer, awareness thin to the quagmire spinning eternally

The sky painted in oil and blood

dripping down against my forehead

I am a chemical division, a science of erratic nodes

Swallow of another pill, to keep my mind from the depths

I am a bard without a mouth, a fox without its wit

That take flight through the flight gates between the fingers
Flying to the destinational end, where hope and sorrow sit tandum in somber stare
With clashing hopes and dreams, against the head of the moment

How fast can the moment lose control?
It seems that answer will find oxygen in the coming minutes
With scotch tape bandages across the breast plate
Stopping the black bleeding wounds from exhausting the moment

Soon the world will swallow the light, and the titans will slumber
The cusp of reality will bleed into the bleakness of rain on asphalt
The moment will not know what to do then, how to go forward
It seems that the moment has passed, and it has missed its chance

We are merely the plankton to this titan
For we are so convinced of our right
That we do not realize our demise

The time will show when we see the rise
The lonely sounds of a thousand suicides
As the buildings become dressed
In a beautiful cloth of fire and hell

For we will know that our end was another fault
But we will never admit as the burning rises
That it was us that gave our own eulogy’s
We were the one’s that pulled the plug

These rivers will come back to bite us
These trees will fight us tooth and nail
And when nature takes back its revenge
It will be the reckoning we created for ourselves

I tried to drink them away, but whiskey only made them stronger
I tried to sleep them away, but my sores I could not take in bed
They whisper to me in my darkest of dreams
Come
Join
We
Are
You
We have
Always
Been
You
I scream at my walls, my sweat as cold as the tips of my fingers
But then you grasp my hand, and make my fingertips feel warmer
You wipe away the Artic from my brow, and hold me close in your warmth
You say that it is only a dream, but you know it is hard for me
So you merely hold me close, and say that sorrow is a true and cruel thing
But that I am not a being of sorrow, I am a being of love
And that I will always have your love, to mend the sorrows in my soul
You take my hand, and lace it with yours
And say, this is love, and I will be it for you

Reach to the mist

That lingers in the air

Grasp it softly

And let it carry you

On this road, does the black tarnish smell of death
Clasped in tree hands, the clothes of those once organic
In the high tops of the willows, hangs a lonely suicide
The air desolate of any breath, only carbon monoxide clarity

A world that has hung its head, and has eaten all that did not see
Now do beasts roam, filled with acidic humanity
Gnashing teeth at all moving, setting fire to any green
This march of sorrow, has crossed the plains and mountains

From the wes the California skyline, ablaze like a victorian candle; a majestic sight cut with screams
In the northwest, the great  trees fallen in Washington, titans of once something pure

In the the Great Lakes, a pestilence carved out with rib bones
In the south, peanut fields and farmland mere toys to a malicious force
in the Delta, the swamps all gasping for air, choking in silence
In New England, the cities and metropolitan philosophy

A match burnt away in a gale of hatred
On this road, does the ash begin to pile
The cries of help, become ambient noise
And the trembling hands, soon become frozen

’ll wait till the cigarette burns against tongue, then will I discard the incendiary creature

As it hums along with the silence of a silent street, soaked with rain, baptized by the gods of senselessness

Thrown among this hurricane, called the modern age, it bleeds like a sacrifice upon the alter

The denizens that seep from the shadows, strum along to a blackened howl, the mind numb in anguish

For this 21st century becomes more a fable, and less a legend

My sorrows match the colors of these streets, light melted across this rain soaked asphalt, looking for shape and purpose

The emotion that pains the skull, seems too illustrious for the somber end, only in loneliness does it play it’s trumpet

For our 21st century, is a burning alter of our pasts sins, and the gods no longer head our prayers

To be a cog on a machine breaking down, it makes the limbs weak with grief, and the stomach sick with dread

With the hesitant faith growing more fearful, the whispers of the midnight fox seem to carry, among the winds that feel dense and confused

It won’t be long this trial of stone

How it will play it’s culling song, whilst the world burns in asunder

As I take another creature, and strike it to the orange titan that wishes for flame

I’ll sit the night in my ideological sorrows, with anxiety and dread, conversing with philosophical doubt, married to low self esteem

Sweet sunflower, never set your gaze to the ground

Always keep your golden joy to the blue eternity

You are something of magic, an etheral miracle of the natural order

Never take those moments of sadness as permanent

For you are radiating, somehow the sun planted to the earth

What diety made you I do not know

But you are something beyond special

Beyond the mortal definition of tremendous

You are something more

it’s hard to find purpose, in the ocean of anxiety and ibuprofen pm

an existential crisis takes a break in Wednesday while my constituents drown it in social media

my worth is measured by how many circles of darkness are around my eyes

my laziness at my bruised knees and calloused hands always angers the old

i am stuck in between the world of self sabotage and self realization

but that won’t be cause for concern, one more drink should wash those cuts away

You are memories, so eternal and immortal

Your death was a great sorrow, but you live on in love and virtue

You were more than a name, you will be more than a tombstone

You will be the stars in the sky, the grass on the earth, the clouds in the sky

The moon in the night, the fish among the rivers, the winds among the trees

The sunlight among the crystals, the echoes of cities, the singing of birds

You are gone from the mortal world, but you still live in the world of love

How soft that world felt
It was something very different
No meandering in darkness
Just walking among the sunlight

But it was only temporary
It was never to last
And with my heavy eyes
I stared at a sun

Piercing veils of the cracked smiles, an airy aura of simpler tendencies with gentler desires. The romantics to add to the colours, to make them see more vibrant and lucid.

When a streak of grey enters the mixture, there’s a muddling of spectrums. If only romantics could take the poor from the broken alleys, take the sick from diseased corridors, provide the hungry with the honey of maidens. But, sometimes the surface is just the surface.

When you dig into the rock, there is only more rock. When you mine away the granite, there is only more granite. A coal may produce that alluring diamond once in the sunlight of graces, but it’s not always the case, sometimes it’s just rock, sometimes it’s another dig. Another mine, to excavate the calcium built in your lungs, to breathe easy again.

I’ll wait till the cigarette burns against tongue, then will I discard the incendiary creature

As it hums along with the silence of a silent street, soaked with rain, baptized by the gods of senselessness

Thrown among this hurricane, called the modern age, it bleeds like a sacrifice upon the alter

The denizens that seep from the shadows, strum along to a blackened howl, the mind numb in anguish

For this 21st century becomes more a fable, and less a legend

My sorrows match the colors of these streets, light melted across this rain soaked asphalt, looking for shape and purpose

The emotion that pains the skull, seems too illustrious for the somber end, only in loneliness does it play it’s trumpet

For our 21st century, is a burning alter of our pasts sins, and the gods no longer head our prayers

To be a cog on a machine breaking down, it makes the limbs weak with grief, and the stomach sick with dread

With the hesitant faith growing more fearful, the whispers of the midnight fox seem to carry, among the winds that feel dense and confused

It won’t be long this trial of stone

How it will play it’s culling song, whilst the world burns in asunder

As I take another creature, and strike it to the orange titan that wishes for flame

I’ll sit the night in my ideological sorrows, with anxiety and dread, conversing with philosophical doubt, married to low self esteem

Born into darkness, a space of flashing consuming orbs in the outer rims

Of this sliver of cosmic abhorrent existences

Crashing against young minds with no sense of empathy or care

Filling those innocent souls with jaded sighs and black streaked blood

Never a chance they had, to see the world through a brighter scope

Only the reality of a concrete road littered with trash and dead rodents

I know the broken glass blew across my aching skull, it was a whirlwind of mayhem and sorrow

As the seeping wounds of my former pasts, came to infection among this crystal skins

The withered limbs began to howl with a sickening moan, as there rotted flesh began to form my mnds eye

As the saw toothed beast ate its way into my bones, I watched above as the stars danced in wonder

With screams of horror across my ears, as burrowing little creatures seeped into my blood

I looked at a silver heron, taking flight with such beautiful grace

I sat with the devil, over tea and plates of lemon squares, why he must inflict so much pain

So much suffering

He looked at me shocked, and said he was not the cause, for he had been on vacation

I asked for how long

He said the moment God exiled him from Heaven

I asked what he did in Hell then

He said watch re-runs of 227

So I make my crown,

From dead leaves and the fogs sorrow

And cast my kingdom

To be among the fallen pines,

And the abandoned animal dens



I do not have wealth

My subjects vast and scattered

My eyes dark as the tree trunks

My teeth as brown as the sap



My hands hold my sword

Made from weeping limbs

That I guide towards a sun

That never seems to set on me



And in this place,

Can I feel this peace

Some illusion of content

A fractured dream of stability

When the breath is heavy like a fog, the hard part is seeing

Feet won’t move, no matter the strength being used

Teeth being cracked by the tension

All of it becoming lost to time

Matter and then ash

Then ash to the winds

The king of sorrow

I sit on a bench made of bird wings

WIth a crown made of ***** leaves

I call out to a land, that cares not for me

Maybe there is something, wrong with my rule

Why there is so much loneliness, I don’t know

I’ll sit on this bench, and shed tears all the day

King sorrow, I’ll die and lay

What a curious day, the sun beeming as if it saw the sky for the first time, the forest rusting with a silent melody

The creatures all residing withing their safety’s, the wind painting it’s portait among the waters edges

But not a human around, as if the rapture has happened, as if the world was only ever me

I look around, but no sense of humanity anywhere, only the distilled sounds of the breeze

I look and nothing around, my hands tremble with a fear and unease, as if I am being drowned

I sit under a shaded oak, and watch the empty roads, listen to the empty houses

Look at the empty cars, the empty lives

And sit with my empty tears

This summer has been gracious with blue skies, and the sounds of a harmony from the woods around

The mothers carry their kits and cubs, to places of safety and rest

The flowers do their best to hide from the eroding heat, the grass seems to dance with the waltz of the wind

But it seems my bones are still as hollow as the winter came, the spring never seemed to make them whole

Summertime blues as the song would say, but the blues are all but foreign to what is the trial in my mind

Alll the while I feel as the cardinal stuck in the grated sewers of Rome, no flight or cadence to sweep my sorrows to the skies above

I am a grounded leaf, floating to the streams of a modest river, never reaching the lake to take me to the beyond

This stasis is a peculair feeling, one of fuax majesty and no supreme devinity

The lonliness is a formidable nuiance, a scratching leech on the edges of my mind

The sun looks so bright on the mornings I wake up early, the rains that arise as quick as God’s sins, leaves as the innocence of the past

So tonight I’ll walk a wooded path to a place I never knew, for the unknown seems to be the only thing that has stability

The old granite house is painted with cold dreary rain, how the years have chipped away at the youth of it

But it still holds beauty, the gracious old ruin that still stands with a resilience, how it seems to speak faded wisdoms

As the rain sings its lullaby to this old home, the thunder chimes with a melody to accompany the rain

Though it seems that it is at its end, the fear of its demise never permeates, only a small sense of fractured joy seeps through to the soul