I remember, Oh so long ago,
Where it was the light that loved me,
And smiling came without effort.
The days where the sunshine was welcomed,
And not turned away.

Now I don't know who I am,
Who I ever was,
And what I mean to people.
I feel like I'm fading away,
Like the belief in a child.

The light has turned away,
Where did my beloved friend go?
She has shut her eyes,
From the horror I've become,
And abandoned me to the consuming darkness.

Nobody hears my screams of pain,
So I've stopped trying to reach them.
I'm losing my humanity,
All that's left is insanity,
In this crimson fallen world.

An echo, and the sound of my heart breaking like glass,
The darkness has become too much,
I'm drowning.
I've shut down,
Not trusting any soul.

I keep it all inside,
I welcome pain destroying me,
Instead of burdening others.
My life is cloaked in secrets,
Secrets that are killing me ever so slowly.

I remember, Oh so long ago,
Where it was the light that loved me,
And smiling came without effort.
The days where the sunshine was welcomed,
And not turned away.

O child of the sun,
Don't you notice the radiance,
The radiance you give others to smile,
The light they find in the dark,
Was because of you?

Your glow is contagious,
Your laugh remains in our memory,
Light touches our hearts,
Makes us forget about mistakes,
But what about you?

O child of the sun,
Where is your radiance?
Where is your smile, your love?
You touch the heart of others,
Lighting their world, darkening yours.

You know the taste of oblivion,
The price of forgetting,
The pain of loving,
Yet not feeling loved.
You know the feeling of fading away.

O child of the sun,
You hesitate before firing your bow,
Afraid to take a life.
Your hesitation has cost you a dear friend,
How do you live on?

Your music touches your soul,
The only feeling you have left.
You control the notes,
And form them from your soul.
But who listens, besides you?

O child of the sun,
Your heart was stolen by ice,
Covered and frozen...
When the fire touches it,
It burns more than it should.

Your friends see you as an ally,
But you always feel alone.
Life always seems hollow yet brimmed with light,
You feel like your friends take you for granted,
Because they don't know who you truly are,

Until you're gone.

I saw the world in bright colors,
A brilliant yellow and orange hue,
A hint of pink and a splash of red,
A sky blue full of hopes and dreams,
And bright green, the color of life

My laughing was the colour yellow,
My lips were the orange hue,
My smiles were pink with a splash of red,
My happiness was the color blue as it shone in my eyes,
And green was the color of my soul.

But my friends, they took advantage of my colors..
They stole them to paint their own canvas
They scraped the hues,
They took what color I had left
And kept it all to themselves.

Instead of helping me, they tore me down
Using my radiance as a tool for their success,
Killing me from the inside,
My colors running dry,
My smiles becoming less and less each day.

Now I don't know who I am anymore,
My colors are all in disarray,
They've tainted my mind with this colorless feeling,
A feeling of being dead inside,
Slowly decaying and falling into the void of non-existence.

I'm colorless... a heart of black and white,
My eyes a gray of darkest shade,
Colorless, Colorless...
My soul is now an ugly black,
The lines of life blurring to gray each day.

You stare in horror at the monster I've become..
Why don't you like your own creation?
I offered you my kindness, you twisted it and shifted,
This is who I am now,
Don't you like your own masterpiece you created?

My mind is going crazy, but is it really my fault?
Thoughts racing through my head,
I'm colorless now, a canvas of black and white,
Maybe I can try to find some color and save myself...
The color red now drips down my arms...
Colorless, Colorless... black and white splattered with blood...

No matter what I do,
The darkness won't go away.

The feeling in my heart was gone,
I had lost the will to live...
So I came up with a plan.
Slowly, and surely, I would push people away from me.
If everybody hated me, and nobody cared,
I could leave this world without causing heartache.

So I pushed my friends away, I shut down,
I made it so I only depended on myself.
The thing that made it worse,
Was that nobody fought back.
None of my friends ever asked if I was okay,
Nobody wanted to hear what I had to say.

The friends I believed were my own family,
They shrugged off my pain as if it never existed...
They didn't care if I pushed them away,
If I was cut off from the world.
Nobody spoke up. Nobody batted an eye.
So that was it. Now, I could finally be free...

But, if I'm still here,
Something must have happened.
If I'm still here to speak, to type my feelings,
Something must have changed my heart.
I can honestly say,
It was something I never expected. Something 'my plan' did not include.

My internet friends wouldn't let me die.
The friends I had never seen,
The friends I had never felt,
The friends who I'd never heard their voice.
But that day,
I heard them loud and clear.

I never met them,
But they felt more real than life.
I could feel their emotions, they connected with me,
They loved me for who I was.
They changed my mind about life, about death,
Something I never thought could ever happen.

I feel like I can hear their hearts through the keyboard,
I feel like I can hear their voice speak to my heart,
I feel their hands in mine when I need a friend,
I feel their fingers wiping away my tears when I can't hold back,
And I feel them take the knife from my hands.
They're building me up faster than I can tear myself apart.

Those friends...
They are REAL.

How she really feels inside,
She will never tell you.