Did I **** myself for you
Just to lose you once again
Did I become a different person
Once I pushed you to the edge

This was not what I expected
When I told you I was spent
When I gave you everything I had
To where there was nothing even left

You abandoned all I was
But this isn't what I meant
When I whispered in your ears
To ask if this was the end

If there was something I could do
Some way to make amends
Because you were my everything
And I loved you as my friend

I mean

When the puzzle pieces fell everywhere
We would pick them up again
Place them all back together
Until we reached the very end

We pushed through the hardest times
Just so that we could get ahead
When we were fighting our depression
We'd be supportive amidst our distress

We played all our weird retro games
Just to see how far we'd get
Maybe beat our latest score
And then do our little dance

We raced to see who was faster
Until we'd both run out of breath
We'd make all these little promises
For things that hadn't even happened yet

But as time went on
We began to forget
Who we were and what made us fall in love

In the first place.

i don't live in black and white
i only see through faded gray lenses
a clouded picture of what is reality

a forgettable moment here, a wasted opportunity there
i am surrounded by moments of dulled memories

my emotions are at rest
but they live in my head
dragging me down day by day
eventually i will stumble and fall
and i do not know if i will get up again


i see the world through a polaroid camera
where everything present is also the past
things that are often memorable
just slip through my purple hands

no one understands
why i never had a chance
to feel something, anything

i am treated like a nobody
cause nobody wants to get to know me

do i come off as vile,
hiding my pain and faking my smile?
i'm giving it everything i got
to be what people want
it has led me nowhere except deserted roads
where i'm greeted by that cold familiar friend
the demon that lives within

there is a void from within my chest
cause sacrificial love is dead

i have tried so many times but to no avail
i cannot fill it up with friends
no one cares enough to even give a flying f--k

this emptiness inside, it might just consume me whole
the longer i go deprived, with no one at my side
the stronger it gets, the harder it gets
it feels like i'm merely trying to survive
this hell we call earth

If I held the world for you
Would it even be enough?
Would you leave me in the dark
Like darkness is all it was?

Would you let go of my hand
Just to see where you would land?
If I had not been the one to catch you
You would have fallen into sand

It was only my mistakes
That could ever make you feel this way
I know I am not perfect
But since I know you cannot stay
I'll be running a hundred miles from here
I'll be standing in the rain

Thinking back to when it was us
And there was nothing but our love
When we would race along the shoreline
Until I'd tell you to give up

When we would listen to my music
And I would smile when you knew it
Our tastes were simply the same
And no one could dispute it

But I guess there are some wounds
That can never truly heal
I gave you so many scars
That I forgot how they used to feel

How they felt when I was young
Being cold and losing love
Knowing that the day would end
With my tears as my only friend

So can you see the stars in my eyes
As I try to say goodbye?
I don't know if I can keep smiling
But I know I have to try.

You said we'd leave this place
But it's all over now
Everybody's gone for work
I'm still stuck in this small town

You left for work that morning
The day that I made coffee
There was something in your eyes
That began to make me worry

You walked out the door
Like I was nothing anymore
I held onto you so tightly
You eventually pulled the cord

Was there nothing at all
That made you want to call?
I memorized your number
For when you'd have time in the fall

But once a year had passed
I realized she was never coming back
Her only desire was attention
But I cannot give
What I do not have.

You said not to fall apart
And yet here we are
You went on to neglect me
When our troubles became hard

You said I couldn't see
What you imagined us to be
Fully awake but you're still asleep
Always dreaming instead of accepting me

I admired you from afar
With my own kind of art
I guess I'm a painter after all
But my work was mine and never ours

And then you found it was always me
That I was all you'd ever need
Guess you finally came around
To acknowledge I'm a human being

But love, I'm gonna accept you
Like the way you accepted me
Hoping that the flaws I see
Will eventually come to be
The end of you.

Goodbye...

i am who i am
and that will never change
i am the same as i was a year ago
when the roses start to fade

i guess i'm not enough
to make tears run down your face
i still wonder if you care
if you even know my name

i don't understand
why we cannot co-exist
i never wanted to hurt you
with my poisonious lips

how deep are your scars
for us to make it this far?
there's a hundred million friendships
but all i wanted was ours

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦
𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦
𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴
𝘐 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘺

𝘛𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦
𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘐 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦
𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘦

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩

𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳
𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘻𝘻𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦

𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥
𝘛𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘦
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘥𝘰
𝘛𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦
𝘐𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶
𝘐𝘧 𝘐'𝘮 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦

𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵
𝘚𝘰 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥
𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥