Oh no
I have a situation
I wrenched my heart out and slammed it down
Pain was a destination
A place where I didn't want to go
But I arrived anyway
So quick
The seconds
I couldn't count
My heart
I smashed it ******* the gravelly ground
Don't know if it was worth it
I wish I couldn't feel
But I felt it alright
The misery flooded
So much darkness
Everything became as black as a stormy night
I had no choice but to give in
To just let myself drown

My heart
Or should I say
Whats left of it
Pieces of shattered and broken reminiscence of feeling
Could not beat anymore
Not at all sure
If there was a cure
Perhaps a chance to undergo healing
I was certain
Cardiac surgery could not repair this peculiar feeling

It has lost its life and soul
Whats left
Could see no light and feel no hope
It felt cold
It felt dead
It felt meaningless
It was filled to the brim
with despair and dread

My brain
was going to lose its connection
I suffered from a conscious concussion
Head throbbing
Consciousness threatening
Threatening to slip away
I just kept walking
Told myself
Hey
No way
For my sake
You're going to stay

Frustrated
Ill-fated
Outdated
Well
That's what I've heard

Words filled with venom
Whispers
Spreading around like poisonous vapor
Spreading around like lethal cancer
Stares and smirks
Glares and jerks

No
I have to go

I just want to fly away
And the only thing I want to say
Is
Goodbye

Goodbye
For a better life

I wanted to go to a place where dreams come true
I lived in a fairy tale which was laced
With Honey
Nothing but sickly-sweet Goo
Fattening and Fake
I was going to go there with no one but you
But you had no support to give
Did you?
Take Take Take
It was all you could do

I saw your ugly being
Concealed behind your facade
Indeed a horrendous thing
Obviously tortured
Obviously scarred

Malicious and Mean
After your period of pain
You became twisted
Metamorphosed into something I have never seen
Mutation of human character
That describes you
To what species you belong to
I have absolutely no clue

I just want to fly away
And the only thing I want to say is
Goodbye

Goodbye for a better life

A place where I'm happy with myself
A place where I know peace and love blooms all around
A place with no one else
But the people I love
The people I would go anywhere for
All the way down
Deep beneath the ground
I would go there happily
For these people
I would go deep down
A place where evil can never reach me
A place where malevolence can never be found

A place with my family
My universe
The location doesn't matter
As long as they're there
I could never be happier

The people who keep me on track
I'm so lucky
So **** lucky
To have people who are always there
To have my back

So right now
I'm glad
I said Goodbye
Glad I left
I'm glad I said
Goodbye

Goodbye
for a better life.


© SHREYA DRISTI

He is tall, with piercing eyes only for me.
Eluding false confidence.
His soul yearns for togetherness.

Togetherness, once found with me.
Once in love,
But I only carry him now.
We all have someone like this.

I loved him, still love him, and think of him often.
He comes with me everywhere.
I wonder if in my days I will pass him, and if I do,
What will I say?

I remember his face so clearly I can see it every time I close my eyes
And drink that tea he loved.
My life goes on, nuances once unnoticed now keep my wondering mind occupied.

But if I know he is close
Or it is raining outside on my dark drive home.
On a wine fueled rampage.
His memory leaches out my pores almost into my breath
But I stop-

And I call him.
But he hasn’t answered yet.

What if I just show up at his doorstep?
Everything would be okay.
I’d give him the warmest hug he’s ever felt,
Even though he doesn’t want it.

We all have someone like this.
I just hope that on his drive by the beach we first fell in love,
He’s sitting,
Waiting
Wishing
And carrying me too.