Oh boy, that schmuck
looked unbelievably gorgeous
in that blue ocean cardigan
I gave him
and I absentmindedly gave him
a deep long kiss
when he visited me last night
.
.
.
.
in my dream

Some days he puts off the torch
And pushes me down the pit
Where I cannot seem to
Reach out for him
Then he runs so fast
When I am off guard and
All I can do is
Nothing
But to stay still
~
Some days he opens his eyelids
And shows me his heart
Like curtain in the morning
Sheds sunrise to the dark
Then he let me left my lipstick stain
On his cheek, creating chain
As we dance on "What If" refrain
Where the bad days
Don't make sense
And the good ones
Can never end

for almost a week you walk inside my dreams
I wonder if it means your heart still belongs to me
but my hope is too big, I must put it in a smaller box
cause they keep me thinking about you too often
"I hope you call, I hope I can tell you about it"
"I hope you miss me, I hope you return"
our story is recorded within my vein
rushing in and out of my blood on each heartbeat
it is one hell of a journey, it changes who I was
for the better, for good, for you, for us, and for me

That one person
who is able to make
your past stays
*in the past

At times I'd like to stare to strangers eyes
wondering what creates their tears of joy
who scattered their hearts to dust
why they see red on their own fists
where did they got those scars or tattoos
but the one substantial thing I'd like to know
is how to make them smile with warmth
inside their chest that will lightening up mine

I promise to remember all the laughters you've given me.
From that faithful night where I found love from our first kiss in 2014
to the moment it puts a smile on my face and stabs my chest at the same time today.
Never had I really quit asking why I walked away and why you let me.
If you ever read this, know that you are still the warrior of my heart's battlefield.
The one beautiful art which I carved with my tears.
The muse behind every lines of my poetry.

*And the love I love beyond love ever allowed to love.

I was looking at the ceiling
along with his silhouette
who stared at me like a lion
and I was the cornered prey
then he locked his lips on mine
he said my body is so warm
maybe because I want him
I want to touch and be touched
and touching was not enough
or maybe because
I want all of me to be his
and I want to own him entirely

You can call me blind
but the only light I can see
shining from within thee
You can call me deaf
but the only melody I can hear
pulsing from your body right here

I can run, I can hide, I can sew lies
telling myself we are over, over, over
but I cannot forsake the gravity
that keeps pulling me to fall for you
over and over and over again

love is not only about the fluorescent fireflies
but love is not all about the graveyard of heartbreak either

love wisely, then you will see
what love is meant to be

deep inside my soul
I can hear the voice breaking vaguely
along with something I finally
realize within me

there are billion stars on the ground
with stars I meant people who work hard
from daylight until midnight
also faces I pass through everyday and night

but there won't be another hands
that feels as gentle as his holding to me
there won't be another heart
which can carry mine so dearly

and there won't be another man
whom I love this much again
there definitely no other
he is the only one

The sound of our sweat
From the friction
The perpetual black and white
From the dark room

My breathing and yours
Echoes around
As you closing down on me
And I to you

Then I hear nothing
But a tender silence
While I rest my hand
To caress your cheek

Thinking, wishing,
I could just stop this moment
And repeat it for eternity
Little did I forgot

Time is count from good
*To gone

When you're with me, I can hear my heart
whispering comfort by its tender beat
synchronizing the rhyme of your words
when you're repeating "I love you" to me
When I'm with you, I found out that
the point of my whole existence is to
spend the rest of them answering
"I love you too"—out loud—to you

When you're absent from my mind
You never do

The doubt you ease
I can trust you

How I fall so hard for you
It happened in a flash

The amount of love I received from you
It's overflowing

Why you choose to stay with me
Clueless

The way you make me surrender myself
I just effortlessly do

What makes you, you
I am thankful for it

Who can be compared to you
No one is possibly better

Where we'd end
This, *I never want to know

do you see me in your room?
laying there with smiles that bloom
do you see me in your car?
sitting next to you, never too far

my eyes swim through our photographs today
wondering why our happiness did not stay
tonight I will sleep wearing your white shirt
dreaming of your memories until they don't hurt

Is just that I cannot find the best way
to explain why I surrender myself to you
like you are the magnet to my steel heart
cause no matter how far I had run
I constantly bounce back to where you are

"I let you go, I did, but did you?" he asked
with me laying my head on his chest
we all know the obvious answer to that

But you always knew
He never gives you
His heart

But the love itself is less than three
how come there's a she between
you and me?

A year ago I innocently adore you
that cute guy at work is who you were
now I am falling deeply in love with you
the one I'd exchange vow with is who you are

and so I thought
what is the point of living
when all you can do is
watching the people you love
dying?

Now I just come to realize
that he is the entire movie
and the rest are advertisements
but wait
I think he's feeling
the exact same thing
*about her