some nights you will feel
like there are a thousand galaxies
exploding in every inch of you
and you are burning too bright
to ever be looked at directly,
and some nights you will feel
impossibly small, like your
whole body could slip through
the spaced between atoms and
never reappear in this world again,
and some nights you will feel
like a paper doll, carefully crafted
and easily blown away, fragile,
too delicate to ever be touched,
and some nights you will feel
like each cell in your body is
made of the strength that holds
the whole planet together,
and that is okay because you are
made of stardust and miniscule
atoms and breakable bones
and the building blocks of
everything in the universe,
and you are too alive to never
feel anything more than human

i feel so
empty.
but who knew feeling
this empty could cause
you to have
such a heavy heart.
everything's going right,
for once,
then it all crumbles.
at night
i fight the urge to scream.
and not a scream that's caused
by held back tears,
or hidden emotions.
i fight back a scream
that's due to the worst feeling.
the feeling of nothingness.

things are
going
to change
soon
and i'm not
sure
i'll be able
to handle
the harsh
reality
of
all of us
apart

all it takes is their name

and a rush of reckless memories ravage your brain,

a surge of swirling emotions shoot through your veins.

he convinced her to jump
promising that he'd catch her
but as soon as she started to fall
he was already turning around

i don't think anyone will understand
the pain
of being completely abandoned
by the people who are supposed to love you the most.

sometimes i still have
to take a deep breath
and remind myself
that not everyone will break me
like you did.

there are times
i am supposed to be happy
like when i am with my friends,
throwing my head back and covering my mouth
as i shake with laughter
at a joke someone jut made.

but then day turns to night
and my carefree grin turns into an unexplainable sadness,
etched on my face like a tattoo.
and i lay in bed,
thinking about all the things i wish i could say,
and all the things i'm afraid to admit.

it's nights like these when i realize,
i am many things.
i am happy and sad,
outgoing and shy,
crazy and quiet.

but mostly,
i am just empty.

there are two types of sadness

there's the kind that i can't bare
so i watch friends
and listen to happy music
and find someone to talk to

then there's the other one
when you know you're sad
but you want to isolate yourself
and just
drown
in the pool of emotions
listen to sad music
read quotes about life
and
basically
just feel empty