My love for her is so great,
my heart melts for her 'til the dusk of day.
The night mourns when she's away,
cherish, adore 'til the dawn.

Her beauty is great,
Wondering mind 'til her sees,
pursuing is all I do,
While waiting for the moment, for her to say "I love you."

You are ashes and bones to me
just so you know
Sorry, but my self-protection dragon must set you ablaze
Sent you off and away
Don't you know I move on to a different land?
It's not all castles walls and guards now
I'm all free!
Free as can be!
I'll mingle,
mingle and laugh happily...!
She released me from your shackles,
for the sake of my sanity
There might not be a knight...
Neither in shining armours,
nor galloping in on any horse or phegasus...
Nor am I my own hero,
or learned to fight for my own...
But my dragon,
she'll swoop me flying to places--
She'll keep on protecting me
Showing places we could never ventured,
you and me ...
And that's okay
Because she'll protect me,
and I will always be save
So I'll fly,
Goodbye, my love ...
In this imaginary grave,
I'll store your memory
Until I'm ready...
At least for now,
You never are, never was, and *never will be

They say what belongs to you would find its own way back to you,
eventually, somehow...
Only they know...

You threw me once,
did you expect me to come back to you?...
....
So I let you go once,
would you ever find your way back to me?

Were you testing me? Somehow...
Were you testing our fates...
the one you held within your palms...?

I can't help but pondered...
If come back this time, would we fall on the same ground?...
Or will we break when we're collided?...

Only they know...
Only those who've known would know...

Heard you're with someone new now...
I should've known,... I should've known...
You'd never left your heart cool for so long...
In the name of avoiding loneliness, avoiding the longing...
Had always been a fling,
but this time would it be your eternal song?
Or just another song?...
I dare not to ask, I wouldn't want to know...
Only my fool would believe you're still my one and only, my own...
...

And so I've been told...
And so I'll keep my heart cold...
'Cause it's the only one I can hold,
my pride and dignity...
The only key to my sanity...
...

There are demons in your closet
It is obvious to me
You left the door wide open
Setting those ******* free

Anger lashed out first
With razor sharp claws
Shredding the unsuspecting
Without hesitation or pause

Beneath him is resentment
Forever locked up tight
Hidden within for years
Now more than ever, ready to fight

Betrayal weighs heavy
Taking up the most room
Can’t sweep it under the rug
There isn’t a big enough broom

Don’t disregard the guilt
Or forget about shame
These two big players
Are leaders of the game

Amidst the whirl wind of chaos
And the fury of rage
A broken heart exposed through fear
Makes its way to center stage

Vulnerability is waiting
She can keep your closet clean
Nourish you with love
Making those demons less mean

As the spotlight shifts its focus
There seems nowhere to hide
Will you crawl back into darkness?
Or simply swallow your pride?

Autumn.
The leaves are turning
brown and gold
Then fall.

Autumn.
It's about leaves and trees
Leaves leave trees
Trees are left. Naked.

But autumn
is more than the story
about 'leaving' and 'being left'.

Autumn
is the story about the trees
that is never worry
of being left by the leaves.

Autumn
is the story about the trees
that is never afraid
of letting go all things,
and being happy afterwards.

Because the trees know
there will always be
the new and better leaves
grow on them in spring.

And being left is actually a way
to a better coming...

-Kanya Puspokusumo-
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com .

My monsters hold me back from eating.
My monsters control me.
My monsters hurt me...
But yet, my monsters were always there for me...
When I was younger I met my monsters.
They were my best friends.
At least... Thats what they told me...
They would always follow me. Tell me what to do.
But they said it was because they love me...
They tell me that I can’t make any friends.
Sometimes they criticize me...
They say; “you’re fat” “you’re not worth it” “she will find someone better” “he will find someone better” “you’re not good enough”... etc...
The list goes on for a long time... But not as long as the list about how much I hate myself.
My monsters are really quiet.
So quiet only I can hear them.
They talk a lot in my head.
I try to tell other what they say but they don’t believe me.
Only some do... They have the same monsters...
Do you know the monsters?
Their names are depression, anxiety, jealousy, hatred, sadness, and insecurities...
Do you have those monsters?

I look into those eyes that I use to stare into for hours...
Now I can’t even stand looking in them.
I listen to your voice that I use to melt to...
Now when I hear it, all I hear is lies.
I see that big smile you smiled when we video chatted...
Now when I see it, my mind floods with memories we had...
I actually fell for you.
When others tried to warn me about you. I never believed them. I would make stupid excuses like;
“He is gonna change, he promised” “he loves me” “he is different”
But I guess those are other broken promises.
I kind of ****** because I was head over heels for you.
But I bet it ****** more for you. Because you lost someone who was actually in love with you.