At the unknown station,
An old soul is waiting for the train to get back home,
After 800 years trapped on earth,
With all memories of
The 800 years journey,
That cannot be erased,
Cannot be forgotten...
.
At the unknown station,
an old soul is waiting for the train to get back home,
After 800 years trapped on earth.
The home where the far is near
And the near is far...
Where too far is sometimes really near
And too near is sometimes really far...
.
But,
"How far is near?"
And "How near is far?", anyway?
"Is far really near?"
Or "Is near really far?"...
While I'm waiting for the train to get back home at the unknown station,
I then cannot stop questioning the questions!
-KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO-
(An alien that trying to get back home)
May 21, 2018
In the day of Satan,
A satan took me for a long walk
in the daylight.
He was telling me many things
with beautiful words,
Advised me so wisely,
Telling me for not too kind to people.
He said, "Why should you love and care about people
that never appreciate your kindness? Don't you see that they only take a benefit from you?
They don't mind to hurt you whenever they have chance.  
You are wasting your time! You are wasting your life!"  

In the day of Satan
A satan took me for a long walk
in the daylight.
Crowning my head
with all the brilliant ideas
about what I should do and I should be as a human,
Filling my heart
with all world's temptations,
Shining my way
with his adorable light,
And showing the much happiness and glory I could get
if I let myself following his path.

In the day of Satan
A satan took me for a long walk
in the daylight.
He made me fell in love with all of his beautiful words
that I was so ready to take a step
to follow all the words and the path he said and offered.

But then my inner soul came
and whispered,
"Are you sure that you're ready for following his path?
What is your motive of doing goodness, anyway?
To get people's attention or appreciation?
Or just for goodness itself?
Is your kindness just like the woman's make up
that will vanish as soon as you wash your face?
Are you sure that you're ready
for making him a King in your life?"

In the day of Satan
A satan took me for a long walk
in the daylight to his kingdom
to marry me and crown me as his queen.
But then I realized that
I'm doing kindness actually for the kindness itself
I'm doing goodness surely for the goodness itself
I'm doing merit definitely for the merit itself
Not for people I've helped
Not for people I love
Not for heaven's sake
Not even for the universe

If people can't appreciate me,
that's their problem, not mine.
If people can't accept
my unconditional love for them
with the proper way,
that's their problem, not mine.
If people turn to be backstabbers
instead of showing their gratitude
for what I've done for them,
that's their problem, not mine.  

In my life,
there's always a day of satan.
It is the day when satan take me for a long walk
and telling me all of the world's temptations
with the words that much sweeter than sugar.

But this time I've decided
to not listen to his words.
This time I've decided
to not help him in building his throne
or making him my King.
And this time I've decided
to stop my steps with him
and go back to what I should be:
A person with the genuine love and kindness.

Today, in the day of satan
I let a satan down
and let him reveal his true face:
A furious red and ugly guy with horns on his head
and a burning trident in his hand,
as I've refused to be his queen
and ruined his plan to build the throne...

May 5, 2018
Kanya Puspokusumo
The first snow
is falling in Borimsa,
a quiet temple
at the foot of Gaji Mountain,
as we stand near the two stone pagodas
that silently standing side by side.
"Oh, the first snow!
And I'm here with you...," you said.  
I smile.
Because I remember all you've said about the Korean saying...

The first snow
is falling in Borimsa,
as the true love starts blooming
in two hearts.  

Inside the temple,
the Buddha's statue
is waiting for two hearts
to pray in quiet words,
and send the love song
through the gentle wind
to the eternity.

-Kanya Puspokusumo-
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com

1. Borimsa, one of the oldest Korean temples on Gaji mountain in Jangheung-gun, Jeollanam-do, South Korea (about 300 km from Seoul). The temple holds great significance as the first Zen buddhist temple during unified silla, built in the 9th century.

2. In Korea, there is a saying that if you are out in the first falling snow of the year with someone you like, then true love will blossom between you.
(13 years ago,
after coma...)

People said that I'm back to life.
But I know that I'm not really back to life...  
A half of my soul is still somewhere
between the door of life and death until now.
It exists beyond time and place,
to create the connection between two worlds,
to bring the message from the past, present, and future,
to be the mirror that reflect all the energy,
to feel the hidden colour in every substance,
and to reveal some secrets of the universe.

Some people call me crazy or a liar because of that
Some other people start to annoy me
by treating me like a psychic
and ask many things about their future.
But, I'm not a psychic
that can give people the tarot card reading or prophecy
or telling about their destiny
whenever they want, by order.
I can't control when and what messages I will get by touching things
I can't control when and what colour I will see in you.

No, I'm not a psychic.
I'm just a "dimension traveler"
I'm the half soul that travels free
with the universe,
while my other half soul is waiting on the earth,
to receive the all travel reports
and to share the news and wisdom from the sky.
-Kanya Puspokusumo-
I'm here,
surrounded by many people,
making new friends,
opening my heart
to welcome a new love.
A vivid life seems to be!

But deep inside,
I'm just a leaf,
that fell to the ground,
and desperately hoping the wind
to fly me to the star...

Then the paradoxical thoughts
start playing in my mind.
The leaf is here, but it is not... .
Loving the star,
but it cannot be loved...
Smile is always
covering the emptiness...
Because the star
is a way too far to reach.
What a lonely leaf!
-Kanya Puspokusumo-
"I'm an abstract painting.
Some people
will easily judge me
as nothing
but an ugly painting.
Some people
will like the colors
or the composition
of me.
Some people
will praise the painter
for creating a piece of art.
But only a true artist
will understand
that in every stroke,
I'm telling you
only the truth
about a journey
of the soul" .
-Kanya Puspokusumo-
There was a time
when I blocked my face
with two palms,
only to avoid seeing the world.
But the two palms can only block
the world in my eyes,
not the world in my heart.
The world in my heart
is always too big
to be blocked by the palms.
Especially when there is you in it.

You...
smiling and offering the love
that reminds me
to the most delicious
Korean persimmons
in Autumn season.

(Now I start to feel that without you,
Seoul is nothing but an empty city,
and the world is nothing but an empty place).

-Kanya Puspokusumo-
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com
Autumn.
The leaves are turning
brown and gold
Then fall.

Autumn.
It's about leaves and trees
Leaves leave trees
Trees are left. Naked.

But autumn
is more than the story
about 'leaving' and 'being left'.

Autumn
is the story about the trees
that is never worry
of being left by the leaves.

Autumn
is the story about the trees
that is never afraid
of letting go all things,
and being happy afterwards.

Because the trees know
there will always be
the new and better leaves
grow on them in spring.

And being left is actually a way
to a better coming...

-Kanya Puspokusumo-
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com .

— The End —