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In this winter,
I would like to be a child again
Playing snowballs,
Making a snowman,
Walking through the winter trees,
And creating footsteps
on the sea of white...
.
It would be wonderful
to be a child again,
When the scene of white sea
falls in my heart for the first time,
And warm me like the summer sun.
(Kanya Puspokusumo, 2019)
.
Ganghwa-gun, Incheon
South Korea
I am always fascinated with the sky,
Because I believe all words that can't be said,
Were written in the sky.
I believe the true love that can't be expressed,
Were painted as the twinkle stars.

I'm fascinated with the sky,
Because my dad is now up there,
Typing all wise words in the blue sky,
And painting all the lovely stars at night.  
He is the sun and my favorite constellation,
That shining my life every day and night.  
He is the perfect love and wisdom,
That guiding my soul throughout this life.

So, when people asked me
Why I am always fascinated with the sky...
I will simply tell them,
Because I know I can write there
Anything that can't be said,
Painting the lovely stars
For true love that can't be expressed,
And giving the perfect love and wisdom
To my son unconditionally,
Shining his life every day and night,
And guide his soul endlessly,
As my dad does them for me...

-KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO, 2019-
I want to erase myself,
Like the winter erases itself
to become spring.
.
I want to erase myself,
Like autumn leaves erases themselves
to let the new leaves grow.
.
I want to erase myself,
Like dew erases itself
to become cloud.
.
I want to erase myself,
Like the cloud erases itself
to let the blue sky smile at the earth.  
.
I want to erase myself,
Because that is how the universe works;
Erasing an existence
to create a new and better one.

-KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO, 2019-
Icheon, South Korea
"Can you see that,
the brightest star
over there?" I said.
"Yes, it's gorgeous.
I love it so much,"
he whispered.
"Yes, it is. I love it too,"
I smiled at him.
.
But then, I realized that
he was not looking
at the sky like I did.
He never did.
He was looking at me...
.
"Why should I look at
the brightest star
in the sky,
when my brightest star
is already here
to shine every step
of my life?" he said...
.
-Kanya Puspokusumo-
January 2019
[Received] 
I see you 'active' on the internet. 
Don't you sleep? 

[Sent]
I can't sleep. 
It's a cold night. 
The mountain wind sent 
a loneliness message to my heart.
I feel so all alone... 
.
[Received]
Please don't... 
You are not alone. 
Nobody is alone.
Even when you stood alone 
under the dark night sky,
hasn’t the sky 
at least stood with you? 
.
[Received]
And remember, 
there's always a love
that stands somewhere
and always waits for you 
in the distance sky... 
.
[Received]
Sarangaeyo...
Neomu saranghae...
.
[Me]
Typing a reply...
.
Kanya Puspokusumo
January 19, 2019
At the unknown station,
An old soul is waiting for the train to get back home,
After 800 years trapped on earth,
With all memories of
The 800 years journey,
That cannot be erased,
Cannot be forgotten...
.
At the unknown station,
an old soul is waiting for the train to get back home,
After 800 years trapped on earth.
The home where the far is near
And the near is far...
Where too far is sometimes really near
And too near is sometimes really far...
.
But,
"How far is near?"
And "How near is far?", anyway?
"Is far really near?"
Or "Is near really far?"...
While I'm waiting for the train to get back home at the unknown station,
I then cannot stop questioning the questions!
-KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO-
(An alien that trying to get back home)
May 21, 2018
In the day of Satan,
A satan took me for a long walk
in the daylight.
He was telling me many things
with beautiful words,
Advised me so wisely,
Telling me for not too kind to people.
He said, "Why should you love and care about people
that never appreciate your kindness? Don't you see that they only take a benefit from you?
They don't mind to hurt you whenever they have chance.  
You are wasting your time! You are wasting your life!"  

In the day of Satan
A satan took me for a long walk
in the daylight.
Crowning my head
with all the brilliant ideas
about what I should do and I should be as a human,
Filling my heart
with all world's temptations,
Shining my way
with his adorable light,
And showing the much happiness and glory I could get
if I let myself following his path.

In the day of Satan
A satan took me for a long walk
in the daylight.
He made me fell in love with all of his beautiful words
that I was so ready to take a step
to follow all the words and the path he said and offered.

But then my inner soul came
and whispered,
"Are you sure that you're ready for following his path?
What is your motive of doing goodness, anyway?
To get people's attention or appreciation?
Or just for goodness itself?
Is your kindness just like the woman's make up
that will vanish as soon as you wash your face?
Are you sure that you're ready
for making him a King in your life?"

In the day of Satan
A satan took me for a long walk
in the daylight to his kingdom
to marry me and crown me as his queen.
But then I realized that
I'm doing kindness actually for the kindness itself
I'm doing goodness surely for the goodness itself
I'm doing merit definitely for the merit itself
Not for people I've helped
Not for people I love
Not for heaven's sake
Not even for the universe

If people can't appreciate me,
that's their problem, not mine.
If people can't accept
my unconditional love for them
with the proper way,
that's their problem, not mine.
If people turn to be backstabbers
instead of showing their gratitude
for what I've done for them,
that's their problem, not mine.  

In my life,
there's always a day of satan.
It is the day when satan take me for a long walk
and telling me all of the world's temptations
with the words that much sweeter than sugar.

But this time I've decided
to not listen to his words.
This time I've decided
to not help him in building his throne
or making him my King.
And this time I've decided
to stop my steps with him
and go back to what I should be:
A person with the genuine love and kindness.

Today, in the day of satan
I let a satan down
and let him reveal his true face:
A furious red and **** guy with horns on his head
and a burning trident in his hand,
as I've refused to be his queen
and ruined his plan to build the throne...

May 5, 2018
Kanya Puspokusumo
The first snow
is falling in Borimsa,
a quiet temple
at the foot of Gaji Mountain,
as we stand near the two stone pagodas
that silently standing side by side.
"Oh, the first snow!
And I'm here with you...," you said.  
I smile.
Because I remember all you've said about the Korean saying...

The first snow
is falling in Borimsa,
as the true love starts blooming
in two hearts.  

Inside the temple,
the Buddha's statue
is waiting for two hearts
to pray in quiet words,
and send the love song
through the gentle wind
to the eternity.

-Kanya Puspokusumo-
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com

1. Borimsa, one of the oldest Korean temples on Gaji mountain in Jangheung-gun, Jeollanam-do, South Korea (about 300 km from Seoul). The temple holds great significance as the first Zen buddhist temple during unified silla, built in the 9th century.

2. In Korea, there is a saying that if you are out in the first falling snow of the year with someone you like, then true love will blossom between you.
"We are books.
Most people will judge us on our covers.
Some people will read us just to **** their time,
not to understand the content.
Some people will read us until the end of page,
but then throw us away;
to be forgotten in the dusty box.
Only few people will keep us as treasure,
appreciate every character every word every story,
and love us with their souls
with no time limit."
-Kanya Puspokusumo-
I've been searching for ways
to ease my pain,
heal all wounds,
free from suffering,
enlighten my own soul,
and to reveal my own mystery.
I've traveled the world
for searching the answers.
Now I've found that
a way to ease my pain,
heal the wounds,
and free from suffering
is to forgive;
with the true forgiveness.
The true forgiveness
will give me peace,
and the peace
will enlighten my soul,
and reveal the mystery...
-Kanya Puspokusumo-
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