I don't know
How to tell you
Just how much
I love you

How do you
Tell someone that
You think about them
Every ******* day
That you want
To be with them
Every ******* night
That you want
To come home to them
After every shift
And do their
Stinky laundry
Cook their meals
Wash their dishes

But it doesn't
Just stop there
You want them
To love you
The way
You love them
Because the love
That you're ******* feeling
Is so intense
It would be
A **** shame
For it
To not be returned
Love better be
Return to sender
Because I want
All the love
That I give
BACK
I want that ****
BACK
But from someone else
I want someone
To love me
The way I love them
That would be nice
For once

Minnehaha Park is hot in the summer
Even by the water
Who knew it would be so hot
Even down by the water?
But all of it is hot

And there are acorns everywhere
Scattered on the ground
Below our butts as we try to sit
And have a little picnic
On a brightly checkered blanket
Between two tall trees
That tower above us
And grant us shade
While pelting acorns down
Into our cheese and crackers

And fancy rosé wine
Whatever that means
I thought wine was wine
But I guess they have personalities
Like people
Like couples
Some things pair well together
Like my crisp pineapple and cheap ******' pizza
Or your stinky blue cheese and weird cookie-like *******
Like us

And the cheese sits on a green marble slab
Elegant as ****
Because that's just who you are
But that marble slab sits on top of a pizza box
Simple as ****
Because that's just who I am
And we pair well
On this hot *** summer day
While we drink rosé
And "I love you" is all we say
Because sometimes we don't have to say anything
We're okay without words
In the middle of a park
On a hot *** summer day

Ever since we met
I haven't gone a day
Without loving you
I haven't known a day
Without your name
Written all over my ******* heart
It didn't take me long at all
To figure out that
You're kind of the one
The one I want to be with
You let me paint your nails
You think it's cute when I chow down on a burger
You tell me you love me when you're deep inside of me
You do face masks with me
You say my snort is adorable
And it all feels different
When I tell you I love you
It all feels true
For once in my life
Compared to all those times
In the back of my impala
When I said it just to get them to ***
So I could go home already
No this time it means something
And I've meant it since day one
When I said it in the laundry room
You looked back and smiled
While I blushed up a storm
The hurricane hit me hard
And changed my life forever

The candle smells like pink hibiscus
And the flame bounces a bit
As the fan waves past
I play with his chest hair
Nuzzle into his side
"Will you leave me if I have cancer?"
I ask
"No"
He says
"I like to think I'm not that much of a cuck."
He says
He strokes my side
Kisses my forehead
The bright white light from the TV shines off my pasty back
"Guess what?"
He says
"I love you.
Even if you have cancer,
Even if you don't have cancer,
I love you."
My exposed chest shakes
As I forget how to breathe
He runs his fingers over my *******
My possibly cancerous *******
My soon to be nonexistent *******
My figure defining *******
That I love so much
That I'm petrified to even think about losing
He holds them
He holds me
A tear falls down my face
But he wipes it away before it can get anywhere
Before it can fall
On my possibly cancerous chest

I never knew his last name
But I still remember his face
I still remember
The way he grabbed my neck
And pushed me down
Because he loved me
He got off
And I got scared
Because he loved me
And I was desperate
In his ****** apartment
On the tan colored L-shaped couch
While Nickelodeon played in the background
Covering up the sound of my painful moans
"I'm tired"
I say
"I've never done this before"
I say
"I haven't shaved in a while"
"I don't feel ****"
"I just got off work"
But I'll do it if I love him,
He says
He'll even wear a ******,
He says

I can't muster up the courage to cry
Even though you're supposed to cry when it hurts
He doesn't look at me when he's done
Just tells me to go
He loves me
But doesn't want me around
In case his roommates come home
That would be kind of awkward
To catch someone in the middle of ****** a girl
A girl who's tired
Who's never done this before
Who hasn't shaved in a while
Who doesn't feel ****
Who just got off work
Yeah, that would be kind of awkward

I threw up all over the floor at Planned Parenthood
Waiting for this ******* mammogram
This routine procedure
That could tell me whether or not I have cancer
Whether or not I have to cut off my cleavage
And find another source of sexuality
This routine procedure
That could casually change my life
And royally **** me over
This routine procedure
That kept me up through the night
Tossing and turning and bawling my eyes out
This ******* routine procedure
That I've been waiting 20 minutes for
Surrounded by other women
Who are probably getting the exact same thing done
And they're totally ******* fine
Nobody else is retching like a ******
Because this is a routine procedure
And I have nothing to be worried about

Let's get drunk on whiskey
Stay up until 4 am having ***
Laughing about everything
Kissing passionately under the lights
Our shadows bouncing off the walls
Our bodies bouncing off each other

Let's snort some *******' *******
While listening to that Eric Clapton song
Do lines off our bodies
While we eat ****** Chinese
And watch Netflix documentaries

Let's drive off at dawn
A full tank of gas
With the sunroof wide open
Singing a mix of random throwback tunes
Talking about things we don't tell anyone else
Guzzling coffee as the miles tick on

Let's buy a plane ticket
Destination : any ******* where
Pack a bag and leave for a week
Feed each other delicacies
Walk along the cobblestones at midnight
Go to places we can't even pronounce
Sleep in all day
Stay up all night

Let's be together for a long *** time
Forever only means so much
I mean a long *** time
That's more measurable
Measure the memories
Through tears and laughter
Kisses and meals
Cuddles and dates
I'd like a long *** time of that
But not just with anybody
Only with you