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Sana Sep 2014
May you dream of me tonight
Darling?
And may I do the same
Lover?
May you hear all my little secrets
Stranger?
And may I know all yours
Friend?
May you sit by my side
Dearest?
And may I remain silent some time
Please?
May we forget language for a while
May we speak of no names or numbers
May we mention no person besides ourselves
May we only speak of childlish dreameries
And crazy foolish thoughts
Of everything that we are
And nothing that we are not
May we spend the night dreaming simple
As our hairs get tangled to the grass
Where cute little insects will build their realm
As we look up to a starry sky
On top of a mountain that will make us forget
Who we are
As a midnight breeze kisses us to sleep
As we lay side by side
This night in Forevermore
May we?
Sana Sep 2014
Don't look at me as if I were a
Monster
I've done my best to remain
Human
Sana Sep 2014
Ugliness and darkness,
Flaws and insanity,
Foulness and sins,

They all sound so charming to me.
Sana Sep 2014
An X over my mouth
An X blinded my eyes
An X made me deaf
An X condemned my mind

I can not speak
I can not see
I can not remember
I can not be

Two worlds that will never collide
And a word that will never make it
Outside of thoughts
Into language

And I can not see
I can not say
What's on my mind
What haunts me down

Because of two straight lines
And a ******* X
Blinding my eyes
Putting me into an endless oblivion
Of all that is inside my mind

A ******* letter
And a world overlapping the other
Of nonsense and mirrors
Of reflections and thoughts
Sana Sep 2014
Everything is fine
Everything is okay
As long as I am here
All by myself
Wordless and deaf
Blind to anything I chose not to see
Words will take the meaning I give to them
And language will no longer be
Something I learned
But only
Something I create
Something I will be
Sana Oct 2014
A longing for errands is bursting from my veins
My blood is leaking out
My body is rotting in this place
Life has left me for another world
Everything inside of me is tired already
And words do not make sense anymore
Between a day and a night
My handwriting changed
And in the blink of an eye
I no longer am
Everything is split into two
And language is no more
Something holding me to this world
Random midnight thoughts once upon a time during this summer
Sana Jan 2015
Follow me dearest
Come with me lover
Let me show you what you thought was never there
Let me sing to you the song of my sleepless nights
The one that kept me awake all this time
I am not who you think I am
Nor the one you thought you knew
Blah
Sana Sep 2014
My head is full of thoughts
My head won't stop thinking
I wish I could write them down
I wish I could stop swinging
Between a letter and a sound
Between eternity and time
I wish I could wander
Instead of just wondering
about a he and a them
about a who and a how
I wish I could talk
I wish I could write
But my head is full of thoughts
My head won't stop thinking
Sana Jun 2019
My being feels flat

How do I tell you?

In the void of you are feelings
screaming your name

How do I tell you?

I'd like to watch the stars
die and reborn again

How do I tell you

There is you and mountains
laying worlds apart

How do I tell you?

But I don't think you'd care

I have tasted madness
I have lost my mind
May 2019
Sana Jan 2015
I don't want to leave here
Forever feels so much more safer
Than moving forward
I've never been good at letting go
Sana Jan 2015
And we keep talking
We keep living
In a past
That is gone
Long long gone
But not to us
Life is here
Life is now
But we keep dreaming
We keep blabbering
About a world
About a future
That is not this one
We keep talking
We keep repeating
Until we have become not
Language is rotting
Language is fading
And words are no more
Melodies are broken
Senses are crumbling
And we are still not
Nothing of nothing
And nothing of none
Nothing is becoming
Something we thought it could not
A part of our day
A part of us
A word to our world
A language we speak with
Ugly feelings
Not sure if this makes sens anyways
Sana Dec 2014
And you can never see
You can never be
Everything that they are
Anything that is not
A word
Or a phrase
They can never be
And you can never become
What you cannot see
You have blinded your eyes
You have cut your ears
And you have sewed your mouth
And I cannot unsee
I cannot unknow
I cannot help
But be
Everything I flee
Everything I hate

*Would I ever be something more?
Pt 1

This is personally one of my favorites, hope you'll enjoy reading it.
Sana Dec 2014
Would I ever be something more
Than the thoughts that haunt my mind
Or the letters I keep to forget?

Would I ever be something more
Than the dreams I live at night
Or the tears I never shed?

Would I ever be something more
Than the language I cannot speak
Or all the persons I could be?

Would I ever be something more
Than all that takes shape in front of me
But never quite make it into words?

Would I ever be...
Pt 2

This is actually a continuation of the poem "AX01P1", even though they might seem not connected to each other.
Sana Dec 2014
Sometimes
I get caught up
Too much
In what I feel
That hardly
Anything
Gets out of me
I feel detached most of the times
Sana Dec 2014
People always ask

     But only the wrong questions

People always talk

     But only of meaningless topics

And you will always wait

     And they will never know
Sana Oct 2014
I would have loved
For you to be here
Right now
With me
As I am lost between
Fragments of moments
And as my thoughts get tangled
Everytime I try to put them into
Wor(l)ds
Come and go
Leaving me awake
In-betweens
Sana Nov 2014
Voices are people
And people are me
Are you crazy yet
Am I insane already
Voices can see too
Even if they have no face
Voices are nameless too
Since they don't exist anyway
What to say
Else or same
Self or made
Words are us too
But people are worldless here
Ay, why is your face blurry dear
Why can't I remember you
Come a little bit closer
Come sit next to me
Talk so I can hear
Speak so I can know
Who you are
Who you've been
Senseless, like I am
I'll keep your secrets
Deep within
Sana Dec 2014
I hate even numbers
They're so predictable

But I love X's
They're so mysterious

I hate biscuits
They make me so thirsty

I also hate coffee
I drink tea instead

I love flowers
They are so pretty

I love plants
They are so green

I hate abstract words
They are so... abstract

But I love abstract things
They are so free

I hate words in general
I find them very limiting

But I am a writer
And they are the best part in me

Anyways, I love the sun
But it blinds me often

I hate how yellow it is
It makes everything look ugly

I surely love the moon
There is something mystical about it

It reminds of the wolf
A good old friend of mine

With his piercing amber eyes
He can look through my soul

I love flowers
I wish I was as pretty as them

I also love clouds
But not as much as
I love the rain

I also love the wind
Hey! easy on me
Don't ******* away!

Oh, You love me?
I love me too

I love me so much
And I hate me as much

No, but really
I love you
Whoever you might be

I hate people
They can be such a headache

With all their talk about themselves
Them, them and them
psst, shut up

Then, they say I am way too careless
Bwah and nyeh, whatever

But I love humans
Never have I met something
As beautiful and ugly as them

I hate society
I find it very... Just no. Ok?

And I also hate reality
I think it's really boring

But I love dreams
sigh... Oh, dreams...

I love dreams
Of wakefulness and of sleep

Strange things happen in mine
But it's all I have ever really known

Oh, did I say I love flowers
Because I really really do

Only give me one once
And for forever, I will love you
*Gimme! Gimme!
Sana Jan 2015
I know          

                          I know

I know

And I want to say it all

But I've got a little cockroach

Resting on my lips

And I'm afraid

It'll crawl inside

If I open my mouth
Sana Sep 2014
I keep on searching for love in the wrong places
And that is probably why I have never found you
Sana Nov 2014
If it means to be free
-
I'll smother myself
And I'll choke over my open gut

If it means to be free
-
I'll cut off your legs
Then I'll cut off your hands
After that your head
I'll ***** you by the eyes
I'll split open your mouth
I'll put flowers inside
Let them fade there
Let them foul inside
Let bugs live there
Let them crawl inside
Let them die there

If it means to be free
-
I'll hang your head
As my scarecrow
For ugly, ugly
You are

When I am not well in the mind...

I've never said I was well in the mind
Darling, I've never said I was nice
A little something I wrote a while ago
Sana Dec 2014
My home
Is moments
That could never
Last forever
As simple as that

Redefine: Home
Sana Jan 2015
Take my breath away
Shake the ground beneath my feet
Let the earth swallow me alive
I want to sink inside so deep
I am split between moments
Stuck between the cracks
made inside time

             Un corps ici

                                         Une âme là-bas

Une tête ailleurs

                         Et des pensées nulle part

And just like that
Moments are no more
And memories are forevermore
Inside an oblivious mind
There but not there
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to be
I don't know who to be
¿Que Voy a Hacer?
It's not like I want to run away
But I so don't want be here
Sana Dec 2014
Que pretty estas
Even when all your flowers
T'ont quitté*

How pretty you are
Even when all you flowers
Have left you
So I pressed some flowers inside my book the other day and yesterday when I opened it, mi flowers were gone! (Bohoo) They must have fell from it or something, but anyways, they left behind such a beautiful stain and I was thinking of how pretty my page has become.
Sana Jan 2015
Of a might divine
Of a darkness shine
You gleam, glow, glimmer
Sparkling like stars' dust
Dooming the world
To be trapped
Forever
In the colors of the night
You twinkle, sparkle, shine
But no one is giving a dime
For you, you and you
For you, me and them
For in the dark, dark night
You sparkle
For the pleasure of
Nyctophobic eyes
There is something I want to test through this, so I would really appreciate it if you guys could tell me what are your opinions on this and what do you think it's about
Gracias
Sana Dec 2014
Some truths
Are better left unsaid
And I'm not good
At keeping my mouth
**Shut
Sana Oct 2014
Tik tok
Tic toc
J'attends, j'attends et j'attends
Les heures passent lentement
Tik tok
Tic toc
Basta et assez
Y'en a marre
Already
Hasten et vite vite
Basta et allez
J'en ai marre
Already
D'attendre, attendre et attendre
Les tics tocs
Et les tiks toks

*Que les tics toquent already
A little something I wrote mostly in french and that I surprisingly like
Sana Dec 2014
I hate and I hate
I feel and I am full
Of hate
Of rage
I hate you
Nameless like you are
I hate you
For you don't know
I hate you
And I hate me
I hate us
The nothing that we are
I hate
And I feel
A lot of hate
A lot of rage
I hate and I hate
I hate and I hate
I hate and I hate...
For ugly you are
For ugly we are
For ugly is everything

Need I to say more?
I don't really remember when and why I wrote this but I guess it was just one of those days
Sana Dec 2014
Amour, Amore, Amor
Ou es tu parti?
Caché par des dunes de veille,
M'as tu abondonné
Pour un monde réel?
Silly thoughts during literature class
Sana Jan 2015
Everyone is ugly inside
And the most beautiful of us
Are those who have accepted
This ugliness within
Sana Jan 2015
Oh dear God
Be in my help
I feel real
I am not invisible anymore
And to dream
I have to fall asleep
People can see me now
And they can touch me too
I am supposed to enjoy this
I am supposed to feel
Happy
Alive
But then
Why
Why is this floor rough
And why am I bleeding?
Why are their hands cold
And their eyes empty?
I don't get it
I don't like it
I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna stay here
Might add to this later or change it a little bit. but for now this is how it is.
Sana Jan 2015
What it is
And what is not
Is what it is
And what is not
Can you be both?
Can you be none?
Can you be all?
Can you be not?
-
¿nʇ sǝ ןǝnb ǝן
¿nʇ sǝ ןǝnbǝן
sɐd ʇsǝ,u ınb sıɐɯ
ʇsǝ ınb ǝɹʇê un
ǝɯâ ǝun ʇǝ
sdɹoɔ un ǝɹʇuǝ
ǝuuosɹǝd ʇǝ snoʇ ǝɹʇuǝ
uǝıɹ un ʇǝ ʇnoʇ un ǝɹʇuǝ
Sana trying to be all philosophical
Sana Jan 2015
I am tired
So make me forget
Take my breath away
And engloutie moi
**** d'ici
**** de tout
Take me away
C'est que je suis en détresse
And everything makes me feel heavy
Take my breath away
Make me feel small
I don't like these feelings
Sana Jan 2015
Laisse-moi m'en aller
Laisse-moi m'évader
Je crève des vies que je ne suis pas
Je crève des noms que je ne porte pas
Laisse-moi courir sans fin
Sana Dec 2014
Ugly faces predominate my thoughts
Sana Apr 2017
I thought of you tonight
I think of you forever
I'll hold you dear in my head
and care for you in silence
For now you cannot see
And so much you refuse to be
Of so much you could become
And so much I see you in you
I know best that you are not
Anyone with special traits
Much more than less
A human out of its shape
What you learned you can leave
If only by rage you decide
Tonight is yet again
A reminiscence
Of what is past and gone
I'll keep you close in sleep
Reach your humanity in thoughts
  
Qu'un jour je t'atteigne
              Que par tendresse
           *Tu te trouves
Sana Nov 2014
I met you
In my dreams
I kissed you
Even though
I was not for you
Nor were you for me
One time upon a dream
Sana Jan 2015
I can't sleep
I don't want to sleep
But tomorrow is a long day
And I have to rest
I have to get
Enough beauty sleep
The morning rays already
Reveal way too much flaws
And I needn't to be more ugly
Than what I already am inside
That's why I need to sleep now
So I can pretend
That none of this is true
That I have a beautiful soul
That I have a beautiful mind
People are blind
Even when they can see
They chose to be blind
Only so they don't see
That what they dreamt about at night
Was not a mere nightmare
You know?
I don't believe in a beautiful world
As charming and as precious
As it is
As lovely and as kind
As I am
The world is twisted
And so is my mind
Sana Jan 2015
If you tell me to shut up
I'll scream even louder
Don't you tell me what to do
Honey
I'll choke you up
With the same voice
You thought
You could bring to silence
Sana Dec 2014
Today my thoughts are loud
And I feel so poetic
I wish this could last longer
I wish it happened more often
Vite!
Better write everything down
Quickly!
before it all leaves me
Take my breath away
Shake the ground beneath my feet
Let the earth swallow me alive
I want to sink inside so deep
I am... I feel...
This feeling is making me feel
trapped inside the stitches of time?

No no
Wait
I can do better
...I want to sink inside so deep
I am stuck
I am trapped
I  am...
Potato... Cabbage... Chouxfleur?




Argh,
**** it
It's gone
No please come back to me
I don't even like les chouxfleurs
*Tristement sheds a tear*
Sana Dec 2014
So here I lay
In the dark dark dark
Even if the sun is still raising
In the end
It's dark dark dark
My eyes are open
The sky is bright
I can see
I can breathe
  Inhale
     Exhale
Live and be
And yet
It's still dark dark dark
Not much seems to make sense
Right now
Even though I still remember me
Language is hurting my head
Words are poisoning my life
For when I think of them
All I can see is them
People I know and people I don't
Lives I have and the ones I don't
I see me
I see me not
I see me
I see who I am not
How I should be
And who I am being right now
And it's all dark dark dark
Sana Feb 2015
.
My mind is infected with thoughts of you
Poisoned with the idea of your ghost
People are faceless, now that I've seen you
Their traits, to your charm, have gone lost
.
Sana Sep 2014
In the middle of chaos, you find life
In the middle of this ugliness, you find humans
You look at a monster, and you are scared
But you know what is scarier?
It is that when you look at him, you see yourself
All this filth stuck into your skin
This ugliness that will not go away no matter what you do
It makes you feel horrible
And sometimes…
It makes you hate yourself
You want to run away but you can not
We hate people for what we are
We hate them for what we are afraid of
We hate them because deep down
We see ourselves
All this ugliness inside us
This ugliness that keeps us humans
This ugliness that makes us beautiful

… Bittersweet ugliness
                 keeping me sane …
This was the first poem I have ever wrote
Sana Sep 2014
How can I write
How can I talk
When what I have to say
Cannot be said with words
How can I connect
How can I be
When a part of me
Feels trapped inside
Timeless fragments
Thoughts
And moments
Between worlds that can never
Collide
I feel like my breath is
Being taken
By motions and colors
By moments and seconds
By details and sounds
But never by words
Or people
Never by **faces
Sana Jan 2015
People, people, people
Each laugh
Each sound
Each word
Like a million bugs
Crawling all over
My body
On my hands
On my back
All walking slowly
From one ear to the other
Out of my mouth
Into my eyes
All together
Nonchalantly
Mockingly
Casually

Ugh
I hate people
I don't know why, but sometimes, for some reason, I really feel like punching everyone around me. Apart from that, I am quite friendly and nice you know
Sana Jan 2015
Rouge
Color of fire
Rouge
Color of my soul
Rouge
Color of this book
Rouge
Color of my feelings
Rouge
Color of blood
Rouge
Color of my thoughts
Rouge
Color of passion
Rouge
Are my ideas of you
*
Sometimes
I wish I wasn't so filled with
Red
But I'm resltess
And deep inside
I've got storms raging
After all
Even if as white
I am seen
And of green
I'm surrounded
Even if blue
is what I often feel
And of purple
my dreams are made
In the end
Every little corner of my life
Is tainted
With the color of
Sin
I am not really happy with how this turned out to be, but this is one of my few attempts at actually trying to write. I don't like how I **** at expressing myself and how my favorite pieces are too abstract for me to explain because I wrote without really thinking. So now, I'm trying to change that. Obviously, I'm still an amateur and I need to practice this more often.
Sana Sep 2014
What you see is only a mirror of who you are
What you hear will not always be music to your ear
What you speak will forever remain
What you touch has never been yours
What you feel is all around you
What you think you become

*

You think you know
But you don’t
You think you are
But you’re not
Sana May 2017
So much I've wrote
So little I assume
I still try to learn
To love me in paper
So much I am inside
But out
Nothing is coming
I've lost me sounds
To language
I've lost me form
In trying to be
But I am only human
Too heavy
Too human
I make no sense
In my own self
Blergh
Sana Apr 2017
So if I take me there
Where will I go
I've lost me people
After losing you
I've lost me life
I've lost me joy
I've lost me feelings
I've lost me time
It's all circles now
Days and hours
Turning into past
Am fading away
And away I'll find me
Something is coming
And by then
It might all be late
But when the time comes
I too must go my way
I have locked away
All that has to do with you
Hello, you might not remember me, but hopefully I am back to posting on here. Looking back at my old writings, I don't think much have changed in me, but still I hope you'll find something to connect with in my words.

pt 1
Sana Apr 2017
So reach out to me before
I cut myself off of this world
I be-gone
I cut myself off of words
bring me out of the blue
It's all dark ahead now
and waves will guide me through
I sway I swing I will stay
I will lose myself away
And soon enough
I will eat myself whole
I will consume me flesh
And will feel anew
I don't know where I was going with this

pt 2
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