AB - Hello Poetry

AB Jul 2017

You knew I was broken
You knew I couldn't take more loss
You knew I was holding to you
Like a drowning man
Clinging to driftwood.

And still you left me.

You said I was needy
You said I was clingy
You said I wasn't strong enough alone
You said it was my fault.

And you said those things with ease.

Well it's been a while.
And I thought I'd get better.
But I didn't.
You ****** me up...

Or maybe I did that to myself.

They say not to be stuck in the past but for me I just don't know how to move past those thoughts

#love #loss #fear #****** #messed #up #self #me #needy #clingy

AB Jun 2017

Before I Sleep

I question everything I
Did that day.

I go back over everything I
Said to anyone else.

I return to all the insecurities
And worries that I've had so long.

Before I sleep I start to wonder
Do I even know
Who I am?

Seems like words are the only thing that helps

#self #reflection #love #fear #night #sleep #alone #loneliness #worry #question

AB Jun 2017

Sitting Alone, Looking Out The Window

How did it come to this?
How did I end up so alone?
What have I done to become this?

I used to be happier,
I used to have friends
And plans and people to talk to.
Now it's just me.

Do I change myself?
Do I change who I am,
To fit the world around me?
Am I pushed everyone away?
I just don't know.

Maybe this is just the way it goes.
Me here, them there,
And the window in between.

I don't know this is kind of cobbled together

#sorry #alone #self #window #reflection #help #sadness #fear #lonely

AB May 2017

Self Reflection

How I
See myself,

Is not how
You
See me.

Thankfully.

#self #reflection #love #fear #esteem #regard #view #point

AB May 2017

Friend

You're my only friend.
My only companion.
You're my only rock
In this storm.

Sometimes I think
I'll be just fine without you.
But you're my only sanity,
My only way to know how to feel.

You're my only friend,
And you're two thousand miles
Away.

Loneliness seems to hit me in waves and I don't know how to stop that

#lonely #loneliness #feeling #love #friend #solo #me #problems

AB May 2017

Words and Thoughts

I tell you the words you want to hear,
I think things that no one else should have
to think

Today I feel great
Today is another day I just don't want to do this
anymore

I'm living my life the way I want
I've made too many mistakes to ever get the
life that I want

She loves me
No one could love me
I'm just too broken

I'm doing better
Than I ever have
I don't see the difference,
I don't see myself

I matter
*To no one

I had this idea to do an interior and exterior monologue. Still a work in progress

#poems #trying #new #things #duality #thoughts #words #live #self #me #i #you