Draw me like the lipstick stained cigarette you so lovingly crave....
******* away with the distasteful grey poison from your lungs....


***

Don't want to fight anymore with my back against the ropes.
Bobbing and weaving your verbal counters.
Box on my inside so we can clinch and get close enough to tell you I love you.

I'm so close that I want to sink into you like raindrops on hot sand.
Soothe through your skin to your blood lines, feeling the flow get faster as you reach ecstasy.
Choking your heart making your body moan and work harder for me.
Run my thumb around the inside of your lips causing your teeth to bite down on my knuckles.
Wave my fingers through the electrodes to your brain confusing your thoughts on what was just achieved.
Resurface from your soul to look down on such excited and sensitive goosebumps, tracing from your naval to your neck.
The freckles on your body I will kiss individually knowing that I have loved every impurity purely.

Can I, just one more time visit your bedroom window as an intoxicated Romeo.
I will perform my love verses that I have written on beer mats throughout the night.
Let me dance for you under the streetlights of hazelton drive.
So sorry for wearing white, did not mean to be stained with the blood of window pane knuckles.

Going a day without that face.
The mirror hates me, such a reflective disgrace.
I am **** so shameful and selfish.
Put me in the sea, let my lungs fill and sink to the shellfish.

Keep walking back to me, never mind tomorrow.
You got your whole life to live.
I'll be in my box while the world and your eyes look down in sorrow.

The coward I've become is the dirt that needs to become weeds.
Bury that ****, let the water fill his void and the Daisy's get to feed.

The faded memories of you and me, under the street lights and shop signs looking beautiful and pretty.

Now I walk into town trying to find our remembrance in our lost love city.

I'm scared of what I have become with the loss of you, so full of regret and a pining pity.

Your Irish white skin I hold so tightly above a powdered sand background.
Pools of salted rock and starfish we admire with lushness.
Only the crashing of the waves to keep us company with your windswept fringe I stroke so caringly.
If I could die right now it would be perfectly completing.

Cut me from throat to stomach and let you escape like the shooting star you truly are.

It's a big hole that I am in.
Constant descent never to return.
Clawing so hard to loose hope like dry crumbling dirt.
Foot holes melt and slither how sand does in a timer.
Fear and desperation creeps in like the frost on a winters morning clasping to your lungs causing pain to inhale.
Sure eventually the hole becomes more shallow with every blink of an eye but for how long.
the mud and the grime under my finger nails are a permanent reminder of what I become.

My car-boot jigsaw puzzle heart-
Missing pieces.

Fluorescent red heart glowing through the decadence of my past.
I can smile again with a big *******.
This is how survival feels.
Never will i drown in your cloud of deceit filled raindrops.

Like the eyelash I blown for us, luck did not return.

Build a fire in the hollow of my chest.
Let the embers burn so true.
For today my world will fill with smoke.

But you will be the one intoxicated, choked and looking blue.

Euphanized from my mind everything we were...........I cannot take the physical elements of what you have done to me........I am weak window pain and frost bitten razor blades.
Chalk laced mirrors of the forgetful, empty bottles of remembrance.............paraplegic I must be as I have not stopped bleeding for you.
Searching for cures from the ones your parents warned you from...........doorman’s elbows sharp, sinking and fracturing the sockets I see you through..........that ******* blue dress you parade in still sits exquisitely with your smile.........emergency rooms become natural habitat to the patchwork of fabricated lies and deceit I tell the trainee nurse..........at that moment my only friend......please just something to take the edge off, sleep for my sanity.
That demons got me good this time.........content to keep my mince pies closed for good........that warmth of morphine in the pit of your stomach......want that to last........but here comes lucifer again with the usuall......draw out those tear ducts that sting so frighteningly of what’s to come.........sink that stoker white hot trident deep into the cavity of Love.............will never relapse as it does not stop...........worms and wild flowers can feed.