The girl you met at a party
And bonded with over how your father's are *******,
And which year you wanted to **** yourselves.
Who, you would laugh with
But never date
Not just because she's gay,
But because her anxiety is crazy,
Like yours.
You will talk about beer
And she will notice that boys with drunk families either love
Or hate the stuff
She will see you growing older
Becoming a drunk like your father
And watching your potential
Go down the drain
Because you tell her how you missed 80 days of school
And they can't technically expel you
Because you had a doctors note for your anxiety
She tells you how she didn't learn anything in 6th grade
Except which pills to take
To numb her brain
She will hold your hand while you run down a hill
Away from the other 'normal' kids,
For quiet.
She will grab your shoulder when you tell her you punched a brick wall till your fingers broke
And tell you "buddy, get some better coping mechanisms"
You'll talk about beer again
And she'll talk about how flowers make her angry
You'll play truth or dare
With normal kids
And you will get defensive of her
Why did you get defensive of me
So quickly
Is it because I was vulnerable with you?
Is it because I hugged you when you left and told you
If your father ever hits you again
Call the ******* cops.
Is it because you see you in me?
Is it because I am the healthy now you strive to be
If she could keep you alive a little longer
She would show you all the songs she wrote for you
"I wish I knew you in 8th grade
Because I would've never let you near that belt in the first place"
You say you're happy you didn't **** yourself, because now you have her.
She talks to you everyday
And her dark comedy flies through
Stupid movie quotes
With her
You talk about the future
Like something you look forward to,
Not like a fairy tale your mother told you,
Before you knew what scars looked like,
Before you knew the color of your blood.
I care about you.