fall's palette of colors over the landscape
these mellow hues on timber stands shall drape
painting a canvas in vintage foliage
copper and bronze being the season's dress code*
with a sprinkling of golden aspen ode
April's leaves returning to rustic frame
parks and mountains all graced by her dame
the brush of autumn's mature coverage
decorating in earthen tone effect
where she displays a ripening aspect
on her boughs clarets and russets brocade
reminiscent of nature's own tincture
nostalgia in the classical picture
*recalling to mind a wooded grove's glade

This you say, without
saying, is my frame--
racked by what is
not brought forth.
Triptych of self...reserved by
the momentum of evasion.
Not to outstride holy company.
Compounding the brilliance
of what was stole away from.
As if a face for every
face, that could not bear
its image.
Driven to outposts which
are eyes more naked than
love at war.
So much of self at judgement,
none the more self to judge
having seen.

Cross our heart and hope to die,
we will stick these needles in our eyes.
Create an earth with threads and pin,
visions dance through blood and pain.
Design this world my darling boy,
cut the cloth and make these toys.
Little humans and tiny bones,
malleable limbs and shiny thrones.
Make them selfish, make them cruel,
but none shall lie, not under your rule.
So as your blood makes rivers flow,
I suggest you learn to tightly sew.
For faulty words and drifter’s thoughts,
are something not all humans fought.

i have a hard time remembering
much of our time together.

we were so young,
so foolish.

i only remember the feelings.

i was a hot night,
right before nightfall when the fireflies
did flips in the trees and between blades of grass.
i was the bubbling tar of the street
beneath my skateboard,
the air suffocating everything
but my ability to see what was in front of me,
i was the Fourth of July.
i was the last sparkler in a box,
just waiting to be used,
left behind and forgotten.

but you-
oh, you were the sun
setting behind the trees.
you were the one
that made the fireflies decide to play,
the one
that convinced everyone you were on top,
the one
that could make the Earth explode,
if you really wanted to.
you were an honor,
not a right.
you were
my match to
make me sparkle
my introduction,
my sunrise.

i had to beg the sun to rise
every morning.
i shouldn't have had to do that.
the sun is supposed to rise,
but my sun would not.

i cannot even remember that year.
i remember having fun,
i remember smiling,
but i also remember the tears
and the depression
and the pain
and the scars
that may never heal.

i remember how you looked at me
then down,
then back up,
with this disappointment i had never seen,
and i knew i had blown it.
you couldn't handle me,
i couldn't handle you.

you told me you'd never love me
"like that"
and you were right.

now i see you daily.

i haven't made eye contact with you in almost four years.

there's not much i remember,
but i remember the pain,
and
i
remember
the
tears.

the sun hasn't shone for me
in such a long time,
but you were never the only sun,
and you were never the last.

you were just the one
that never rose
to the challenge.