maybe if i tried harder
maybe if i thought faster

it would have made the pain more bearable
and make me feel less shameful.

i feel ***** and gross
no matter how many times i shower

i cant wash away this sick feeling inside of me

I’m so scared of not being able to do the right thing
Whatever that means
My hands are never clean

And it’s all your fault
That after the assault
This mediocre life came to a sudden halt

And,

All the pain going unseen

Well ****,
I wasn’t even fifteen

my mind is losing sight of the light
my past doesn't matter, right?

my chest is heavy
my legs are weak
"am i a burden?"
is what i think

My passion is the silent sympathy
My mind always strays to emotions
They are perfumed from unseen notions
I was a goodwill and you a sensitivities
Back into my memories trusting
It was rusting

I heard an unknowing, fond rotting
And so you came gently chirping
Back into my memories relying
My togetherness, I could not awaken

a demon has made a home in my belly
and i can't speak
hes crawling up my throat
hushing me