Thinking of you brings waves of tranquil anxiety.

I sat on the cold hard ground
My tears soft as the velvet cloudless sky
Slowly breathing
Inhaling one star at a time
Trying to light up my mind
Feeling the ice crack within my lungs
Everything is in slow motion
My blood no longer runs like a rapid thundering river
Slowly it seeps through the broken arteries of my heart
So much has changed, I think of how much I have aged
I can feel the invisible demons clawing their way back
I will sigh as I can hardly control them
As they multiply like a virus
They are silently waiting now
Waiting for something
The perfect moment to release their toxins
But for now
I lay on the silent ground
Listening to the earth breath
Allowing the winter night to swallowing me
Nature keeping the demons at bay

Before you check your phone
Before you wash your face
Before you eat your breakfast
Before you resume your sleep

Draw open the curtains
Embrace each light ray and
Run your fingers through the sea
Leaking through your windows

Stretch open your arms
Feel each light ray and
Watch it glow as it hits you
Drenching you with white

Breathe in, breathe out well--
Hoping to inhale one light ray and
Engulf your blood with it
Running through your veins.

When that is done, you are complete.
You are brand new, fearless, impervious.

For twenty-four hours, when you are cut
You will not bleed--

You will shine.

How many times did slow words drip
Sweetly, quite lovingly like honey from your lips
The words I could catch, I ate them up with a kiss
There were many from daydreaming, I  did miss
Added up like taffy and getting more sticky as time moved
We've become bound, entangled in words unproved
Lashing out, pointing fingers, who made this mess?
Both shamed to blame for not giving our best

I had to look up
the word
'dating'
on Urban Dictionary
because I didn't know
what we were,
what we are.

And it said things like
'a socially acceptable
form of prostitution' and
'feelings of
puppy love that usually
dissolve
in a few weeks'.

But this is
not
puppy love.
This is not going to
dissolve or
fizzle out or
whatever,
you're not a
fizzle
you're a *******
fireworks display.

And you turn
everything in my head
into this
multi-coloured
turbulence and
I can't keep up with
how much I
adore you.

But the thing is
I don't know
if your view
is as good as mine.
What if you're
looking at something
a little less
beautiful.

What if I'm your
fizzle.

What if I'm as
temporary
as the flame you use
to light the
cigarettes
you find more
addictive
than my touch.

If that's the case
I'd rather
I left you
craving.

Because
if I'm your flame
you're my
forest fire
and you're burning
it all down until
the only thing left
standing is
you.

And I'll walk for
miles across this
carpet of ashes
just to feel the
softness of your skin
against mine.

And I'll cough
and I'll splutter
on toxic smoke
but you'll just
breathe it in because
you never realised anything
was even
lost.

You don't see me
crawl
you just know that
I'm here,
I'm here
I made it
I'm yours
I'll always be yours
because there's
nothing else
left.

And maybe
I can be
content with that
if only
you will see
that
you could burn down
everything
and I still
wouldn't put you
out.

Merry Christmas for me
Today
Is you asleep
In someone else's bed
Yet beside me
As I sip wine
While the muscle relaxants kick in

The past has past,
and from it I have decided to flee.
I no longer care about what
happened then.
So, don't wave your history at me.

Technology is supposed to
lessen the load,
and somehow make us feel free,
But all I see are chains and rooks.
So, don't wave your gadgets at me.

In the educational system I trusted,
through it the world I could see,
But now I know
it's all a show.
So, don't wave your grades at me.

Poetry is an acquired taste;
As dead as it can be,
But write we still,
As words can ****.
So, don't wave your lines at me.

In love I used to trust;
the one and only key.
But then I learnt,
and caring was burnt.
So, don't wave your happiness at me.

You came unexpected and briefly;
Like the sun on a cold winter's day.
You dived and soaked in the waters,
and caused ripples through and through.
Changing the surface for a brief moment of eternity.
Now you've bathed and done;
had your fun.
For this I decree:
I am the errors you left me
So please do not wave at me.

Never lose your way of life.
Never lose sight of the sun.

Promise me, you will find your way out of the dark.
Promise me, you will look at the sky and see it full of dreams.

I never want you vapid.
I need the hope in your eyes alive when you say goodbye.

Your life has always been so full of color.
Keep it that way.
Color over and in the black and white.

Light up the streets at night.
Erase the silence with the sound of your laugh.
Save the world with your hope.

Ride out the sun with your glory days.
Fly over trouble with your wise ways.

Fight the dark.
Live in the sun.
Dance with the rain.