Your smug
exhausts me.  
Wasted,
under desert skies by
stagnant waters reflected
in your shades, and--
I had to shake you.
And whence the dust had loosened
from cracks
like earth
beneath your skin,
I was afraid
and fled from mine.

Couldn't eat so
I smoked a cigarette,
now all I've got is shallow satisfaction,
bad breath.

But I'll pick my scabs, just to
remind myself,
Pick my scabs
as if I could find myself
finger-deep in my own left thigh.

Missed you today,
I turned the TV on so I wouldn't
feel alone, and
let reality slip
away.

And I pick my scabs to remind myself,
Pick my scabs to encourage better health
And I pick my scabs so I can know they're healing

I always fell in love with
moments, never with the man.
I danced through stars to
love songs I couldn't understand

And I pick
my scabs, just to remind myself
And I pick my scabs,
just to pretend to know
how scars are birthed from blooming skin

Pick my scabs like I wish I
could crack apart my shell,
let it shatter
let it shatter

But you can't see it, so to you it doesn't matter.

Flesh will always lie, but my keloids will remember.

Bitter past will grasp upon you
but surviving is what matters.

So I,
pick my scabs
to remind myself

I wonder where your wonder went--
why you stashed away your wonderment?
for sake of posture pride and pallor
ironic, yes for all the hours
of studying "normative" culture--
of faults and flaws and freedom ruptured
bashing against consumerism
driven
lives

Your stuff's not as cool as mine
Poor things!
how blind! What empty lives!
Why can't they see the alternative side?

But wait--that's mine! My idea--I divined!
Great spirit told me not to sell half price
and things I buy--of course they're mine

But free trade, bought and paid for
I'm down with the indigenous cause,
I'm no capitalist ***** . . .
But oh my, those pants are nice
and that skirt's lovely, too, I'd love to wear it twice
wait--
Why dothey have those
I'm more hip than them, more
open minded, I'm
Mother Earth's best friend.
or ****, at least more hip.
More hotter,
smile and nod, peace and love, yoga ****, on my journey I'm farther.

See there! Don't look in my eyes, but
at my size 2 thighs
in this brand new outfit
haters despise . . .

I guess I'm wondering where your love is,
I digress from my rant, just show me
where the shelf is
that holds your origin story,
lost child,
eyes wide,
mind blown by lights and shiny bits and
new friends' smile and--
BASS vibrating your spine.

Where's the love that widened your mind?

[Making this habit] tons at a time

Prisms echoed into blue
as fate
faced you
fainting.  Slightly.  To her right side
bearing to selective few her
divide.

Memories faded long since into
fantasies
of minds in collde; bodies intertwined
then
I me thine then
softly.  I me mine.

Tracing circles--
This pattern understanding
greater design.

yet not criminal-
not yet unkind
Your breath inhale,
exhale mine

These backs broken
twice in one time

Then thrice under dark skies
bleeding hearts did cry,
breaking hearts remind:
rational words of deep roaring depths inside.

Repentance dates in great time
Spirits, broken, crying
but with healing entwined.
As I declined
I rise,

now finally.

Inhale my breath
exhale thine

Any word never so softly spoken
never words ever so stately joking . . .
hopeless without dope
the whole world tokes--
just don't choke
and swallow smoke so toxic.

I've had it with this rock ****,
wanting women to go *******.
knock THIS with fists clenched to bliss
never was there ever so sinister a kiss.
don't miss this chance to be missed for misters miss's listless jist of this.


sound is forever
ever heard of white noise
its the sound of people fighting across the world forever ever for letters between a girl and a boy.
are you sure?
do you really want this?
can you bomb it, not drop it
to **** meaningless fetuses?
why are you reading this?
you can't beat this.
Eat this slowly trying to depleat this.
guess what?


everhing you've been reading is meaningless.

and enough of this endless restless nesting fetish.
Incomplete sentences stammered by the breathless
Full of obscure references overtested by the bested . . .

forget to forget the last failure from my past and we'd run rampant and ram horns again but a circle won't fit with a square
no matter how many times you test it . . .

speak money speak *** speak respect;
you can't buy any with either or neither
but try please to succeed
and we'll watch your world crumble

Man never stops learning though unconcerned but acts concerning.
Playing the role of the wiseman the fool gives false advice
spreading vices to mice who won't stand for what's right

To be said **** the fools,
but you must protect them from what we don't know
but you'll never respect them
and you find by and by that by mingling with monsters
you're no longer a savior no longer a martyr
but instead you're so dead that you're following
following
and now like the rest you
falling
dropped
to the bottom.


Clear my mind with bleach
be my teacher, no my preacher
The need for meter seems to have defeated my reason,
unwanted, it seems, perhaps even defeated.

I often wonder how the world sees the world, I long for new perspective. The world seems unyielding, unwanting.
I am born to pry at why we are born to die; born to forever wonder why.
And why?
Answer ever answer. And forever wondering why I can never take chances. I'm often to wrought with distractions to advance.
Why did they refuse to give her a chance?
Why did she refuse to give him a chance?


Someone must've written this story in advance.

speak for the stars, helpless as a child
silence
gasping at straws, grip's lost.
Violence
draws it's own lines,
but the definition of violence--is
yours to define.
I'm alone this time.
I'm not alone this time.

In dreams I pluck petals from a flower that had not
love me
love me not
love me twice
love me not
love me thrice
love forgot to love me not
then forgot to forget--forgot me twice;twice forgot.
love me not.

Reach inside my mind
grab bag
pick your prize
what's inside?
it's alive!
it's alive?
there's your surprise.

Kissing glass before it fragments
then licking up the pieces of every fallen mirror.
There was always something **** about
lipstick
on your cigarettes
and blood upon your chin.

I'm reaching.
What if I really promise that I'm reaching?
will you teach me?
will I reach it?
am I growing?
gaining?
is it still worth reaching?

I promise I'm still breathing.
ever reaching, speaking, seeing[un]seen seeing.
but what does meaning mean?



do you FEEL me?
did you get it?
I don't even know what I'm ******* saying.
but I'll never regret it.