It was when
I thought that I
Could bear to do it all
Seems like I
Was all so tired
To risk and try and fall
Life is not
What I have thought
It seems unfair to me
I dared to dream
I tried to love
Oh, pity me.
Yet we know
As the sun
Sets and rises again
That life is not
Just all about
Being sad and heartbroken.
Rise up, my friend!
For another day
Is way ahead of you
Do not just weep
Lift your head
Laugh and live
And perhaps,  fall in love again.

I forgot
How the pen felt
Underneath my fingers.

Even if your mind questions it,
Your heart already knows.

I seek to be remembered
but contented with not being forgotten.

“I miss you,”
is what I wanted to say.
But I don’t say it, anyway.

One way to know that you love someone:
You put their needs above yours.

I fought hard for far too long
Taking it all, the pain
I thought I was just being strong
When I kept standing in the rain.

Looking around but not knowing
Who I'm looking for in this blurry haze
Maybe, just maybe, I'll be okay
I'll find my way out of your maze.

My thoughts are loud once again
It screams through the depths of my being
Warring emotions deep within me
I thought being alone is comforting.
Still, this is better than having many people surround me
I'd rather be held captive by my own thoughts
Than be drowned by the words of people around me.
It's a lonely thing
Yet also comforting
When you find something to do
To write poems
Inked by emotions
And touch a heart or two.

They told me
"Some things are broken
Beyond repair."
I heard them, I listened.
But then they forced me
To take
A bitter pill called Change.
And so I thought,
Perhaps,
Some broken things
Are not meant to be repaired
But accepted.

I'm a fool indeed to plan
Building a castle on a sand
When waves will come and take away
My precious castle, please do stay.
I thought of a thought
of rebuilding again
A castle made of bricks
or marbles, or clay
But what I see now is what I want
My castle on a sand
my night and day.
It is weak
I won't argue
It may falter
This much is true
But look beneath the surface
I am sure you'll understand
My castle is more than just a castle
On a sand.

Your senses come alive
The aroma waking your soul
The brim gently touched by your lip
As you take that first sip.
You smiled at me as you said,
"It's amazing how it energizes you
When you take that first sip."
You don't even drink coffee
You said you do now because I do
I love drinking coffee
But there's nothing I would love more
than doing things with you.

I do not want them to see me cry
But what can I do?
My tears just won't tell me why
It flows out of nowhere, flows out of the blue.

I do want them to know I'm strong
But the pain keeps haunting me inside
I'm just looking for a place where I belong
Some place where I can hide.

I live within the thought of a thought
So deep you don't want to know
They say I ought to give life a shot
That's what I have been doing so.

So please don't ever wonder why
I'm always on my own
I have lived far enough to try
I don't even have a place I can call home.

Not all the guys are like that, they say
How should I know?
I have trusted twice as much and I,
I have been hurt by doing so.

You will never fully understand
Until on my feet, you'll stand
The pain and agony I felt that day
When he just walked away.

I have lived in the shadows for far too long
and the brightness, I can't contain
I thought I was just being strong
When I kept on standing in the rain.

Roses, and letters, and chocolates on hand
Yet lies and bitterness all so grand
Fed up with fairytales, all I say
Is you'll never know how I felt that day.

I have never been scarred like this before
But never will I get hurt anymore
Not now, when t'is all just too late
Remember when you said,"I will wait"?

I doubt you'll still remember
The promises you confidently whispered
The memories embedded in my heart still
I just hope you'll understand how I feel.

With questions asked, I say no
When love stirs up, I say go
Just leave me here, on my own
I'm used to being left all alone.

I am a fool, I know you'll say
To see them all that way
But one would never understand
How I felt that day.

It has been a lonely day
Avoiding people
because of what they say
their words are knives
that cuts through me
cuts through my soul
cuts through my dignity.

what am I supposed to do?
If what I am is what is true
I dare not hide beneath an identity
My identity was long before
When Christ died for me.

She's hiding again
Behind her books
Behind her unspoken thoughts
Behind the world she created inside her head
Behind her poetry.

You see
She has the tendency to disappear
But it doesn’t necessarily mean
That she doesn’t want to be found
She just wants to be seen
Not for the surface she created to please
But for the beautiful and raging storm within.

I’m in love with the night
Its loneliness, the vulnerability
Hiding in plain sight
Like it wants to be seen
But fears unacceptance.

I’m in love with the moon
That ethereal glow, surrounded by stars
Like a speck of sparkling dust
A constant reminder
That the night can be beautiful too.

The night has the kind of light that the day does not have.

"You're not enough."
It has become a mantra.
With her unconsciously knowing,
Those words in her head are growing, gnawing at her already-shattered soul,
Waiting to attack again at the slightest hint of trigger:
Magazines, media, society and its expectations.
Wondering when she'll ever be enough in a world that demands perfection.

She once loved unconditionally
More than she thought she was capable,
More than even herself.
Yes, even herself.
She lived and loved like that.
Like it is a useless thing to choose to love someone only for a part.
And because she loved fully, when she became empty, it broke her heart.

Her eyes, once filled with light so bright others would glow,
Has now become an empty hollow.
The flower planted in her heart that she watered everyday was plucked and carried by the wind away.
What was left of her were the words, and instinctively those words were what she watered.
And it grew to a point that the words became her.
And the words were "You're not enough."

We are always at war
Not with the people behind the words,
the standards of society,
Or the depiction of perfection in media.
But we are at war with our selves.
Sometimes, our thoughts become our enemy.
And it's a battle we can win if we just choose to fight.

And I knew I would be broken
In a way I’ve never been before
But I also knew it’d be worth the shot-
It would be a privilege, even-
To be both hurt and loved by you.

At the mere thought of you,
My heart crumbles into a million tiny pieces.