"I am everything
The world revolves around me
This time is mine and I am in control"

                                      If its all mine
                                      Why am I so afraid to change it
                                      For the better good of the people
                                      In my world

Why can't I just speak to people
Without getting scared
I want to encourage others to try and change it also

                                 but I am a coward
                                 named courageous

When I tell someone to
leave when I am the one who is hurt
and they leave without a fight

Deep inside
I am hurting a whole lot
Not showing the outside world
that my head
is spinning with a bunch of thoughts all at once
not being able to concentrate on the one thing I am afraid of

Distracted and making myself fear more than several things
at a time
dozens of scenarios pass through my head
with several ways to go through the scenarios
I always seem to get hurt or it concluding with me or someone else dying

Taking deep breaths focusing back to the world I am left to face my real-world problems

Back then, in the sunlight,
your face is bright with joy
as you smile and laugh with your daughter

But now, in the dark room,
your face is filled with violence and hate
as you stare at the killers face

He hides in my closet
he has a scary look
with ridged nails
and pointy sharp white teeth

But he is shy and doesn't come out
till nightfall
when no one can see him
because he is insecure
and he doesn't want to be made fun of
by the other monsters who wander around

Every time I hear him come out
he is humming a tune
I would softly request him to sing
because I cannot sleep
when he would open his mouth

Wonderful words would come out
sounding excellently in tune
even though there was no background music
in my head, his singing sounded like a symphony
was playing the most lovely melody

If I could I would stay up all night
till dawn
when he would retreat back into the closet
I would listen to him all night

But as he sings
the melody floods me
and my eyes can not stay open
as I slip into a deep slumber
I would still hear him singing

When I wake up
my room is soundless
I would look in my closet to see if he is there
but he is hidden
where I cannot find him

I dream of the things I want to happen
but I wake up in my own bed with my dog at my side
with her warmth
the cold air in my room does not stand a chance
I wish I could take her with me everywhere
she makes me smile and laugh

outside it is cold and there are high drifts of snow
but she playfully runs around and through them
if I slip and fall on the ice she won't laugh at me but she would look at me then continue doing her own thing
even though she may not know my bottom hurts
she definitely knows that her being there makes it feel like the world loves me more than anyone

she makes the cold feel warm
I dont want her to leave me
and if she does
I'll have to live like she is still there

it is cold yet
sweet
it can be colorful or
plain
it can be chocolate or
cotton candy
but its all the same with different flavors

Sometimes my heart
Feels so cold
Like a piece of metal that has been left in the snow
Sometimes my heart feels so heavy
Like a five hunded pound wieght
Sometimes my heart feels so tired
Like a teen sitting in a boring class for an hour
All the time my heart feels out of place
Like a giraffe left in the ocean