At times, I wonder
If you still think about me
Since that night when
I told you everything..
everything that you
needed to know
and you told me that
It was once mutual
Do you remember?
Maybe, it didn't mean
anything or something
maybe, you didn't believe
me when I said what I said
Believe me when I say that
those words were
meant for you
words only for you
stories that only you know
believe me when I say that
I did not say a single lie
believe in what I said
And I hope you'd
remember it in time
but in case if you've forgotten
Or maybe it wasn't made clear
So here, I'll say it once again...
*I'm in love with you, dear.

There's fine line between the
"Oh, he's so nice.. and sweet, and caring"
and the
"Oh, he's just a really nice guy"
...
Nice Guys
I was referring to the latter one
The ones that are generally nice
They'd help anyone, anything
Not necessarily smart, but usually comes with it
They're the "friend that you trust a lot" kind of people
They're usually remembered by the "nice" things that they do
Sadly, they're really underrated when they're not attractive to people
It's the sad truth

When they're in love with you..
They try their best to make you happy
Whether it's a simple gift, or gesture
Know that they have your happiness in mind with the best intentions
They're not nice for nothing
They'll be there when you cry or.. have asthma attacks
They'll try their best to make you smile
and make you feel better about yourself
and they do their best to make you believe that you are beautiful,
even if you don't believe them
They'll try to convince you
on how much they love you,
not just with words but with actions as well
You know, they might not even tell you they love you just yet
Cause they're too preoccupied thinking about you and how you are
(the state of your well being)
They'd think about you more than you'd think about yourself

When you'd ask for space, they'll give you space
just because you asked them to
Know that when you do have that space
They'll still think about you and your wellbeing
They understand
and if they don't, they want to understand you, and they'll try their best to.

When you find one, please do your best
your very-to-the-utmost-extent best
to keep him nice
even if you don't like him
cause itches are the reason why
nice guys turn to the dark side

Cause I've heard that nice guys are in
demand.. and yet so hard to produce

I am cursed with words
for words were never mine to begin with
I am knowledgeable of words
but never the knowledge itself
words are not the language I speak
Words are a curse for me

You*
You have a gift with the words I don't speak
Cause words are in love with you
I fathom at the heart of your soul
For that is where words reside

I cannot speak truly of what I have in mind
For I have said before,
words are a curse to me
Because I have no words to speak
I only have my mind and soul to listen

I question why I have no gift with words
Because with words, I cannot speak
For I wish to ask the God almighty
To give me the words I seek

I could only wish for words
as sweet as yours
Because your words seem to breathe
I wish to speak the words
that go beyond dreams
The words that stay in
somnambulistic silence

No one uses them as well as you
It's like you dwell in another realm
I could only wish to have words like yours
But alas, *my curse is silence

For 10 months, I've been holding up
a pitcher of affections and feelings that
you never knew it had your name on it.
It kept filling and filling, and no matter
how much I fill it, I couldn't give you taste
because it might disappoint you.

At some point, I gave you a sample
and you seemed to enjoy the sweetness
but I was wondering if it was too sweet
so I couldn't give you everything

There was a time it turned out bitter
maybe, because you sought other pitchers
but it still had a sweet after taste

I try to make it a sweet - sour taste
so that it gives you "kilig" affixes
Still, I couldn't reach for that taste
so I still couldn't give you that pitcher

But as unprepared as I could be
you demanded my pitcher
and I poured everything in your cup..

I wasn't sure if I didn't have enough
to fill your cup, or that your cup wasn't ready
to take in all that it contains....
Maybe, your cup was too small or
There was too much in my pitcher

I've done everything in my power
and here, I put my hands up high
surrendering to to you all that I can offer
for my head can't be held up tight

Your love for him, I cannot bother
for this is what you want
My words, my actions cannot reach you
and blood, tears and sweat seem not enough

Here I confess that my lungs have been damaged
my heart has palpitated all that it could
Just so that I could put a smile on your face
and not bother you as I should

I've done everything in my power
and yet.. I cannot be "The One"
I ask, do you see nothing in me?
do you see a tombstone for me?

I have been there in the times
that you have suffered
that you wept and grieved in lost love
in the times that you lost hope

I have been there in the times
that you have smiled
that you smirked and laughed in gained memory
in the times that you gained hope

Here, I realize that.. I will never be enough
my words, my actions, my soul
they will never reach you
they will never meet you

Here I am once again
looking at love with my bare eyes
Here I am once again
for all that is left of me

A piece of my mind, my heart
my love and broken soul
whatever was left that
you haven't taken from me
and what I have not given you

I put up my hands up high
knees on the floor
eyes drenched with tears
and I tell all the stars my wish for you
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
I wish you sunshine after the rain
All the rest after the pain
I wish you a comfy bed and tea
that tastes beyond your wildest dreams

I wish you health and strength
a good morning and beautiful sunrise
a safe journey home and warm cloudy skies
that makes funny shapes as the light enters your eyes

I wish you all the happiness that the world could offer
or at least, a wonderful taste
of the happiness you have given me
because I wasn't enough to make you feel that

Haha, my wish for you
All I wish for you is love

I was like every other scientist
for love to me was just
a neural reaction to a certain
stimulus presented to an individual,
just a hormonal response of a person
to a certain situation laid out to them
Like a configuration of ****** muscle
tissue of one results to an increase
of serotonin, dopamine, and for some,
oxytocin of another
At times, one would affiliate this
****** muscle configuration
to that of pentahydroxyhexanal (sugar)
and that was discombobulating

I could not understand how
a smile becomes sweet

and yet at that moment
when I saw you smile
I immediately understood
that science
science cannot explain this

This feeling I have when I see you

Every moment away from her, I have this frustration
Whenever she's away, I lose concentration
Whether she's off with her friends, or with another guy
I'm always scared when time would fly
Whenevery I see her, I would feel happy
But why would I suddenly be feeling ******?
Well, we were once always by each other's side
Whenever we had fun, we would take each other's ride
Why do I have such frustration?
Didn't we have some kind of connection?
I thought that we would be forever
But, oh... That's right. **We were never together

He* sees her today, anxious but with excitement
With a heart so ready, he waits for the right moment
He comes to her with a happy greeting
For it has been long since their last meeting
She seems him, and greets with a "Hi"
He was so happy, he literally could fly
He was so happy, but could not express
For his love was never confessed
A friend, she calls him. A close one at that
A best friend, a brother he was to her
He has been there for her, every moment before that
But with no knowledge of the love he offers
For years, he was trying for the right moment
But could not, because *another guy loves her
In fairness, the other guy was better, intelligent and street smart
Though, it bothers him why she doesn't like the guy as much
Why does she treat the guy as such?
As he loves her so
He can't, because the other guy loves her
He knew the other guy loves her
So, he let him go first, and he confessed
So now they're together, leaving him in the ice
Just because he was too nice.

Everything was going according to plan
Highschool. Pre-Med. Med. Specialization.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think
That you would add up to this equation
Never did I think that things would end up
Like how it is at this moment.
You never were meant for this equation
And yet, you fit in so perfectly
I was expecting nothing, and yet.. You
Never did I think that you, once a variable, would become a constant. That you would succeed euler's number or the symbol for radians, pi, as important constants in my life, you're as important but as confusing as i.

I mean, at times you're really confusing me
like rationalizing the negative square root of 3, but it's simply, really how I thought it would be to make sense of irrationality. Things like this would make sense mathematically, but not in reality. In reality, you're more simple, yet oh-so filled with insanity. But it still boggles my mind, on how a lovely variable like you becomes a constant in my life.

I went out for a jog on a Wednesday night
I thought of taking my mind of some things
and... that's what I did
I jogged like Forrest Gump's lazier half brother
because, I simply can't run because of asthma

After a few rounds around the university,
I decided to go home with a quick trip to the convenience store for dinner
I had the usual.. a rice meal, and two cans of milk

I walked home, taking home a can cause
I cannot stand the stench of the store's second floor anymore
That's when I saw a particular beggar on the street

It was a old woman, probably on her 70s
She had lesions on her legs, so she couldn't walk...
She looked up to the sky like somehow, maybe today she'd breathe her last
I mustered whatever kindness I had in me, and with whatever I had left..
I gave her Php. 8.00 and can of milk

She had this lit up look with her eyes and with utmost fervor, she said "Salamat po" ("Thank you")

Days. Weeks. Months passed by since I've seen that lady again... and at some point that moment seemed like history to me...

Today, I've went out for a jog to take my mind off things.
and what luck did I have.. I did not have enough for my usual..

I decided to go home and with a heavy heart.. Tired and full of stressed out muscles..
On the street, a young girl with a plastic bag approached me.
She was apprehensive; shy even. She gave me the plastic bag and ran off...

And with what surprise I had when I opened the bag... You know what it had?

A rice meal and two cans of milk

I'm afraid that I am possessed by a persistent beast
It crawls in my stomach
and makes my heart beat faster
It feeds on our encounters
and whenever our hands
would suddenly reach one another,
my lungs stop and
my mind would yearn more of it.

I'm afraid that I'm possessed by a very persistent beast
It haunts me day and night
with your image
your phantasm
The memories
that you are with me
and I with you,
both interlocked in the moment
They slither to my thoughts
every night I lay down to sleep
and I when I wake up,
I open my eyes
like I came from
sweet inebriation

I'm afraid that I'm possessed by a very persistent beast
that brings me to a perpetual state of anesthesia
that confuses me to believe
That the world
is a wonderful place
and no man, animal, or object can ever harm me
That the world is beautiful with it's own faults
and that every moment in the dark
is just another moment
to be shed brighter in the light

I'm afraid that I'm possessed by a very persistent beast
and I cower at the thought
that I might hurt myself knowingly
yet I promised you that wouldn't

Please tell me how
to tame this very persistent beast
this beast that everyone calls
"Love*"

If you think about it,
Everyone you love
Is just a person brought
To you by the wind
A certain person brought
To you by circumstance
a single "random" happenstance
The world has so much to offer
That every person around
the earth could be greater
Than the one you love today
You love the person just because
he or she was just there
at that moment
at that happenstance
but wouldn't that mean that
By some strange occurrence,
By some strange force,
We were brought together
Like out of all the stars in the universe
It was the sun that gave life to earth
It might be random
Or maybe it's not
Sometimes, it's serendipity
sometimes, it's propinquity

She says she saw raindrops
She saw them fall today
haha, she always has
a new story to tell.. and today
today was about raindrops

You'd see her eyes light up when
she tells a new story.
It's makes you wish you were a part of it
cause at times, her stories are not enough
words can only go so far
Though, sometimes you'd think if
the stories were for you to listen
It's like you were eavesdropping..
And yet her words were directed to you
Her words, though sweet, sound so distant

She told me that day that she saw raindrops..
and she told me that she made some.
and all I could do was listen

There were those nights where
I would sit and look on
how things are between us
and I would come to the conclusion that
times will come when we're not okay
and I'd always fear if I will still feel the same after

I'd delve at the thought, hoping I would see myself
as nothing more than an overthinker
But the universe, then again always proves me wrong
wrong in the most cruel, diabolic ways

The universe is cruel
but... you make me see otherwise
because cruelty can't make me smile..
driving you home on a Thursday afternoon
watching the sunset, and with our friends
looking back at the day, thinking..
The day was just right
cause it gave me a right reason to dance

Whenever those nights come back
I'd always tell myself in a lonesome chant
"Remember Yesterday"
because it was when we were okay

Every moment was like a dream, a memory.
Memories of odes, ballads with allegory
Every random smile, Every warm touch
Every single tear that was felt too much
Moments that we were happy, sad, and crazy
Were more than just consuetudinary.
To others, these days, these moments may seem ordinary
But to me, I held them sentimentally
These memories, I held tightly
Made me feel more uneasy
It'd remind me that we are to separate
And it'd bring me to a more depressing state
But these memories where I see you smiling
Make me want to stop crying
With each memory that flashes in my head
Make me smile more and more instead
So I hope you'd be happy wherever you are
It's not like you'd be gone and be so far
I'lll be there whenever you need me
Let's see each other sometime, maybe for tea?

Love
looked like
a short girl
She has
pale white skin
With
Dark almond eyes
and soft wavy hair
And every time
she'd smile
You'd see her
face shine
Like the sun
------------------
Love
looks like
a girl that
Often stares
out the
Window or
the blank space
Seeing only
her thoughts
come to life
Watching the
World become
her *playground
-------------------
Love
looked lost
on the streets
While immersed
in that world
Trying to find
her every step
Without tripping,
without falling
,she waltzes
through rugged
streets finding
Safety and security
-----------------
Love
looked like
an angel
Asleep or awake
She'd smile like it
But never
claimed to
be one
and no matter
how much you
Try to convince
Her, she'll never
ever
Believe you
---------------

Love
is the one
that cares
Hugs and pats
you on the head
Comforts and cheers
you up with
the best that
she can
and with even
her mere presence
and soft "hello"
you'd feel ecstatic
and would
burst with joy
----------------------

Love
is what I see
in that girl
even when she
doesn't see it
herself
She'll make you
believe that
you don't
But all the more
you will see
love
in her
--------------------

Being the ears
that listens
than the mouth
that speaks
I find how insignificant
we are all to each other

I find not one worry
in any of the names
that they mention
just "Me, Myself, and I"
and every lie in between

I find it humorous
how the world revolves
in every one-upping
as everyone speaks
in competition
and I quietly sit there
with a smile
in every comment
just waiting for a turn
to be listened

We are all stars with people's names
Stars that bring life to a single earth
We fail to realize that we have a light
That could both heal and burn
But in one arbitrary moment
In a single random happenstance
We see that in being a light
Is what makes earth have *life

Shortly after his departure from the King's palace, the Little Prince arrived at another world.
There were two halves. One; a field of sunflowers and the second; a city full of high rise buildings.

He played around the field. Walking, Jumping, and Smelling the flowers. As he jumped around, he suddenly bumped into a gargantuan object towering over the field.
Thump!. "Ouch!", he said, as he had one hand on, and leaned against it. "Amazing! Why didn't I see it as I went around?". The little prince was astonished at the object, as his head looked up to see the what the object was.
"Hello!? Anyone up there?" He then hears a soft hum and light plucking, and with ecstatic might, he looks around the object for the source of the sounds.
"Hello? Anyone here?" A loud rumbling came, as if an earthquake started. The object started to move. The little prince looked up and saw that it was a man, a giant! The giant had a serious look, and with him, had a basket full of sunflowers..
"What are the Sunflowers for?"
The giant looked straight into the city and seemed to not hear the the little prince's question.
"What are the Sunflowers for!?"
The little prince shouted, because he was unanswered.
The giant then looks at the little prince, smiled and silently gestured him to follow.
Annoyed and curious, the Little Prince follows.

The giant brought the Little Prince to the city, where it's bustling streets were crowded; and despite the noise of footsteps, car horns, and people on their phones, there is this eerie feeling of silence. The giant then stands eagerly on the sidewalk with his basket of sunflowers. He holds a sunflower from the basket and silently tries to hand one to the passing pedestrians. He tries and tries, but not one flower was given. "Why is everyone looking down?", The Little Prince asked, "Is everyone like that?" The giant looks at at The Little Prince, puts his finger over his lips. "shhh" the giant whispered, as he goes back to handing out flowers. The Little Prince slowly gets annoyed and furious at all his unanswered questions. "Why don't you say anything!?" The Little Prince asked.
The giant then looks at the Little Prince, smiled, and leaned over to whisper.
"I might disturb them", the giant said.

The Little Prince was dumbfounded and confused at his response. "Adults are strange beings." he said, as he goes back to his ship and left for another planet.

If you thought you've met the clumsiest girl
you still haven't met her

No one can be as clumsy as her
because no one else had
accidental sprains
accidental bruises
accidental bumps
accidental cuts
like she had

You'd wonder why she's so clumsy
because every moment you'd see her
she has a new story that comes with a new injury
and everytime she'd talk about it
you'd see the perfect mixture of
giggly, embarrased, and happy
all at the same time

She'd smile and laugh about it
and you'd be there listening
being the perfect mixture of
worried, frustrated, and happy
all at the same time

You'd wonder at her wonderous nature
of how to smile when the injury hurts
Oh, how you'd wish
that you could be there
to tell her off and pick her up
wrap up her bruises
wipe of her tears
but thing is she won't let you
all you could do is
silently wail with her
for all she ever did was smile

There's a faint sound of wind against my ear
and the laughter of children playing around
As I lay down on the field resting without a care
I feel a gentle gander above me
As closed as my eyes could be
I felt a slight press against my arm
I felt a familiar warmth as time flew by
It was her that rested beside me
by each other's side we rested til dusk
and woke up next to each other's gaze
We yawned then laughed at each other's hair
But boy, was she still beautiful after that
She stood up and said goodbye
and that was the last time I heard her say "good night"

I got some things I want to confess
From an awkward nerd to a beautiful countess
You're more confusing than the Higg's Boson
I understand more the positrons and electrons
You're more complex than a polysaccharide
"Understanding You" is no book my archive
Why can't our relationship be a mutualism
Rather than the one sided commensalism
Could we be close like the tibia and fibula?
So close like the aorta and vena cavas?
To be close, I could only hope
Like uranium 237 and uranium 238, inseparable isotopes
Whenever I see you, I get the "kilig" affixes
Like the sour taste of citru sinensis
I can't get enough of your wonderful smile
It's like the taste of pentahydroxyhexanal
You might think I'm in delirium
But my thoughts are in equilibrium
You're the only girl inside my cranium
And this love for you is more precious than *titanium

There's that sunset
Where you'd
Look
upon
The horizon
and watch the sky
pull a symphony of colors
Where the atmosphere and clouds
simply refract light;
creating an array of complex hues
the sky became emphatic
to show off it's beauty
That was today

There's that sunset
Where you'd
Look
Upon
The horizon
And see the clouds move
slowly and yet hastily
And despite the Coriolis,
the clouds form shapes
And represent
such figures to you
whether human, animal, or object
It reminds you of
memories, places, people
That was today

There's that sunset
Where you'd
Look
Upon
The horizon
And just look at the grandeur of it
Where you cannot tell where
The sky ends and the earth begins
no trace of the sun nor the moon
Like the earth felt God's redamancy
and God felt the Earth's
and our worlds finally became one
That was today

There's that sunset
Where you'd
Look
Upon
The horizon
And the moment you lay your eyes Upon it
all the questions, all the queries
finally become answered to
like quantum theory and "beauty"
ultimately became understood
like you now have an answer
to your most enigmatic problem
That was today

I looked upon that sunset
I have an answer
I finally have an answer
I now have an answer
That was today

I'm but a Dante Allighieri
watching his Beatrice
fall from his hands
Watching her fall for another man
Leaving me to insanity
and all I could do is watch
watch her be well and happy
making our existences never meet

All I could do is watch
and think about her

I can only pray
that my patience
would never reach
it's peak
for as a man
who can only
take as much
as a human can
I'm almost at
threshold

I always believed
that I'm not allowed
to say a single rant
for there are things greater
than what I can imagine
I'm told that
I can't complain
I can't frown
I can't wonder
for that's what it means
to be selfless..
yet I still ponder

My mother always told me
"just be a little more patient"
how can I be, when
father always tells me
"YOU ARE NOT THINKING"
"ARE YOU BLIND!?"

I'm sorry, father
if I'm not up to the test
but know that
I follow every word
ever sentence for the best
For every spare moment
I had, I have given it to you
I did promise that
I would take care of you
be your "right" side
as I termed it

I'm sorry if
I have no idea
what the heck you're pointing at
whenever you want me to get
something for you
I'm sorry if
I have no idea
what you want to say and if I don't know
what you're thinking
I'm sorry if
I'm not the smartest guy you'll ever meet
cause I might never fully understand
what you really want from me

But please, Dad.. tell me
is it worth it to tell me
"YOU DON'T CARE"
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND"

I understand fully that your time on earth
runs by the shorter years, but please dad
please... your words hurt me more
than every beating that you have given me

I do understand that you want me to grow
but it always hurts me more
that you're willing to let go..

Dad, I'm almost at threshold

I'm 5'11
She's 5'1

I lean over to her speak
She tiptoes to speak

I lean over to talk
She tiptoes to listen

I lean over to vending machine
She tiptoes to it

I lean over to hear her speak
She tiptoes to speak

I lean over to tell her
She tiptoed to listen

I lean over to hear her say something
She tiptoed...

She embraced me

I'm sorry if things would come out so wrong
It's just that I've loved you for oh so very long
I don't know how I should interact
Or how I should come to react
I'd stutter like I'm a big dork
I make worse conversations than that of a fork
But it's because I'm just charmed by your smile
I guess it's my way to stay with you for a while
I keep my distance, not because I want a good bye
But it's just that.. Well.. I'm way to shy
I get all shaky when our shoulders would touch
It's probably because I've longed for that so much
You must know what you do to me when our hands would simply touch
If happiness were a grading system, I'd be at the top notch
So please don't be weirded out by how I am
I'm trying to be normal with the best that I can
I'm awkward, shy but oh so very kind
and *you're the only girl who's in my mind

Out of all the living things that are alive on this planet, I believe that the true witnesses of love were the trees that root the earth. In the history of the world, you will always see one growing tall and strong. And if you don't see one growing, then you'd find yourself unwitnessed of your love. For in the trees were carvings of every movement of the wind, sun and rain. Markings of wars that fought for love, and names of people who fought with love. The trees were there to witness love through the air, for every moment the air becomes wind was a moment that love was being felt. Maybe, when we cut a tree, maybe we should first think of the love it witnessed. For every tree that's cut, believe that it once saw and felt love. Whether it was plant or animal, human or God. It was there to witness love.

Tachycardia*
that was the first thought
I had when I first felt your
heartbeat. Your heart seemed
weak and yet your eyes
gleamed. I admire that.

You smiled at the face of
death and anger, and yet your
heartbeat sounded weak.
You're a strong one, I thought
for not many can smile at
the dark moments in their
life. I admire that.

You should see yourself
for what you really are,
and not some persona
closed in a facet of lies.
You are not just a star that
shines in the dark.
You are the sun that gives
life with light.

You say I'm strong?
You should see yourself.

Love never really
sunk in your
Beautiful skull and
I never made
It clear to
You
I love you
And I will
Make sure that
You will feel
What love is

Love is never
Meant to make
Us only happy
Love meant to
Allow us to
Feel
All the feelings
We were meant
To feel and
To show what
Good really was

Love, I only
Meant to show
You how much
I love you
And only you
You
Attribute to my
Smile and I'll
batter your beautiful
Skull til you
Understand that I

I love you

I cannot fathom
Or dare to
Understand what makes
Me in love
With you but
Love
I will fathom
And dare to
Make you understand
That here in
The great now

I love you