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Dec 2018 · 195
Missing what I never got
Iz Dec 2018
As I walk these streets
A bitterness in my heart
I know all to well
Steps from the shadows
Followed by a piercing pain
In my abdomen
At the sight of fathers and daughters
Sharing laughs and smiling
I will forever feel this jealousy
It is
A burning rage
For something I never had
something I will always want
Why couldn’t you just love me?
Dec 2018 · 291
Gaze
Iz Dec 2018
His eyes were forests
Untouched by any man
Dec 2018 · 128
Unholy
Iz Dec 2018
Your lips
So tender
They drown
Me in sin
Dec 2018 · 58
Intentions
Iz Dec 2018
I wanted you to beat me
Until my guts were mashed potatoes
But you wanted to hold me close at night
And tell me I was pretty
Iz Dec 2018
Snot drips from your nose
Tears trickle down your face
Like crystals in this light
And I know
I know I am no longer enough
I know it is me
Who’s brough you this pain you’ve been feeling
I know it’s me who stole the peace
In your once serene being
Dec 2018 · 218
Flesh sack
Iz Dec 2018
You lent me your flesh
And I mistook it for
Love
But it was merely
Skin and blood
Dec 2018 · 148
Water cycle
Iz Dec 2018
In your presence
I am liquid
But in your absence
I am ice
Dec 2018 · 169
Euphoria of the heart
Iz Dec 2018
Your hands are so soft against my skin
I felt myself melt into the sheets
And I was in utter ecstasy
Dec 2018 · 422
Lost and found
Iz Dec 2018
What hurt you so bad
That you lost your compassion
What was it?
Dec 2018 · 751
Favorite
Iz Dec 2018
You don’t like to pick favorites
You dont like to narrow your interests down to one
That should have been my warning
I coundnt be your only love
Dec 2018 · 529
Loveless in the west
Iz Dec 2018
You’re the robber
Holding the trains in my
Heart up
You demand all my insides
I hand them over
You demand hostages I provide
Every person I have ever been
But somehow it’s not enough
This life made you greedy
It robbed you of your love
Dec 2018 · 106
Sweet tooth in my soul
Iz Dec 2018
Cigarette butts rest in the guts of who we once were
Young to love
But not too young to feel pain
The pain of knowing
We killed this long before we could save it
and now we live day by day
As corpses consumed by the
Death of a love so real and so sweet
It rotted us from the inside out
Didn’t you know
Sugar gives you cavities
Dec 2018 · 1.5k
Stoned and cold
Iz Dec 2018
its 99 cents for any cup of
Coffee
MakeDamnSure is playing on the radio
It’s colder outside than last night
But last night I was woozy
From the *****
And it could have actually been colder than it is tonight
The alcohol makes me warm with feelings that get to finally creep from the shadows
You know even I get tired of keeping it all in sometimes
#mundane
Dec 2018 · 106
Change
Iz Dec 2018
I don’t know what to write
I can’t put it into words
how I feel
It’s a mix of envy and hate
I can’t tell you who I am
I can’t tell you what I’ve done
I can just tell you I’m not who I want to be
And I’m not who I’ve been
I’m someone so distant from who I once was
I might as well consider my true self
Gone
Dec 2018 · 203
The Journey Ahead
Iz Dec 2018
I have had nothing to show for this life I’m living
I’m self absorbed  but still focused on everyone else
I can’t pull myself far enough out of my *** to see
No matter what I do I’ll get where I’m meant to be
Dec 2018 · 79
Grip
Iz Dec 2018
I think I started needing
Control when I started
To lack it from others
When my father stopped keeping me on such a tight leash
And my mother finally set me free
I don’t think I knew what to do
So I would cling onto people
And control their every move
Because I didn’t know that was
What you were not supposed to do
Until I ruined everything I had with you
Dec 2018 · 210
disconnect
Iz Dec 2018
I’m so ******* tired of these bones
Of this flesh
I’m tired of my thoughts and who I have to be
I would give everything in the whole world
To just get five minutes of not having to be me
Dec 2018 · 74
Shadow
Iz Dec 2018
It is the shadow under my step
It is the darkest of feelings
It drips off of me like oil
On wet wood
It is, and isn’t
Who I am
And
Who I want to be
Dec 2018 · 92
Living with it
Iz Dec 2018
My trauma
It is heavy
Like stacks of bricks on my back
And I carry it with me
To the store, when I’m out with friends
It’s there when I wake up in the middle of the night
It’s often the first thing to cross my mind
It surges through my veins
It’s like poison in my blood
It makes my mouth taste bitter
It makes me want to run
But no matter how fast my feet hit the ground
Or how far I may travel
These bricks don’t come off so easy
They follow me town to town
Iz Dec 2018
Dear gentle cat who loves eveyone he meets
What do you think when you look at me
When you smell my face do you smell the lies I’ve told big and small
Or
When you push your head against my hand
Do you feel the wrong I’ve done with it
The things I’ve stolen, the hits I’ve landed
When you plop down next to me do you
Feel the presence of all who have sat there prior
Do you feel the emptiness of the spaces in my room
Where ones who have now past once sat and laughed
When I scratch your cheeks
Do you know I’ve not been the best me I could have been
Do you know I’ve done wrong
Do you know I am only human
Or do you look at me with those big marble eyes
And see every time I’ve done something nice,
Do you see the groggy mornings were you wake me to feed you
The hours spent laying together as I talk about nonsense
Do you only see the good I am, and understand the bad is only part of me
Tell me cat
Tell me please, what do you see, everytime you look at me
Dec 2018 · 71
Wet matches
Iz Dec 2018
I dimmed my flame for you
I smudged out my shine
I covered my gold skin in black tarp
Layer after layer
Until you could no longer tell
How glorious I once was
And I did this all so
You would feel comfortable loving me
I know I was intimidating
My twinkle was blinding
The diamonds buried in my chest, they more
Closely resemble coal now
But when it gets cold down here
In this damp dark hell
I often scoop out some coal and lay it out in front of me
I light it with my flame
That’s barely sizzling
And I remember what I once was
What I never learned to love
Until it was no longer me
And I shiver in the cold
Missin when I was a not just an ember
Dec 2018 · 192
Directions
Iz Dec 2018
It’s relieving to now see
Everything I have ever done
It’s all lead me right here
To you
Dec 2018 · 219
December 3rd
Iz Dec 2018
I have spent a year loving you
I’ve spent 365 days stuck in a trance
Your love is utterly hypnotic
I am a slave to your hearts rhythm
It moves me every time
My feet go left my body sways right
The air it glides across my skin
Like shooting stars in clear night skies
Your love is like morning dew
It covers me at dawn  
I glisten and shine
In the lights of your suns
At last I understand
Whats been missing my whole life
What I’ve searched the ends of the earth for
Has always been
And always will be
You
Dec 2018 · 183
No quarter
Iz Dec 2018
I tremble as I face the beast
Beaten and worn
I stand
His words are birthed from acid
His skin is solid steel
Those eyes
They pierce me
Like jaded daggers
Blood fills my lungs as my vision goes black
This is a battle I will die fighting
Who is your beast?
Nov 2018 · 65
Liquid air
Iz Nov 2018
I woke up this morning
Gasping for air
I had been dreaming of diving
The deeper I went the less I wanted to go up
I just kept swimming
Knowing I could only hold my breath so long
I was almost happy
But I remembered that would leave me
Without you
Nov 2018 · 445
Inconsistent
Iz Nov 2018
My writing does not hit
As hard as it once did
The bullets I shoot from my mouth
They are not nearly as precise
Is it possible
I’m losing my
Ability to
Write
Nov 2018 · 236
Quick sand
Iz Nov 2018
I feel like a fraud
I spend my whole life phoning it in
I take in the information
But I put out nothing
I wonder why I’ve been stuck in
The same place for years now
But I’ve done nothing to move
Nov 2018 · 93
5:45 Nov. 23
Iz Nov 2018
Beautifully rich plants grow against the house
We are here often
The cat he’s a beast
A true predator
He’s loyal
And delicate
He lives a life of respect
The geckos run against the ceiling
On the top edge of the wall
Catching moths and spiders
They fear me
But I do them no harm
I love the wild life
It’s a life I wish to live
One of simplicity
And endurance
For I am only a human
I run on guilt and misery
Nov 2018 · 278
Fourth wall
Iz Nov 2018
I have met bad men
Who have been good
For only me
And that is where it
All falls into humanity
The villain in your story
May be the hero in mine
Nov 2018 · 165
Lemon haze
Iz Nov 2018
I need to write something
But lately I’ve fell as a squeezed lemon
All that comes out is little droplets
Not nearly enough to make a sweet lemonade
To shove down the public’s throat filled with bits of me
Nov 2018 · 197
A collection of shit
Iz Nov 2018
I’ve been painting again
The colors they drip
Emotion
For it’s not what you see
In these
Trash paintings
I pour my guts out into the canvas, I call them trash paintings because it’s not about what you see
Nov 2018 · 217
Morgue
Iz Nov 2018
Waking up everyday is quiet similar to attending my own funeral, and I can’t express to you enough the lack of remorse in the room

the stench of my own death long ago hangs over me in a fog so thick and so suffocating I might as well
be dead
Nov 2018 · 61
Repeat
Iz Nov 2018
How is it that everyday I find myself falling in love with you all over again
Like a sprinkle that turns to a pour you completely engulf me
And the tingles run up and down my arms and my chest touches the ceiling
I’m madly and completely in love with you like it’s the first time I realized it all over again and I swoon
Nov 2018 · 402
Gasping for air
Iz Nov 2018
She drove her car into
The canal
Where my heart once lay
And I felt the absent pains
Of the limbs I once owned
And I almost
Drowned with her
Nov 2018 · 382
Just words
Iz Nov 2018
My poetry
It means
Nothing
When I can’t
Share it
With you
Nov 2018 · 505
Gravel
Iz Nov 2018
The mountains turn to seas
When I lay in your arms
Nov 2018 · 76
Maybe
Iz Nov 2018
The man of yes
Can never say
No
Nov 2018 · 104
What I need to hear
Iz Nov 2018
It’s okay to take a break
It’s okay to need some time
It’s okay to not feel guilty
It’s okay to be okay
It’s okay to help yourself
It’s okay to separate from the mess
It’s okay to do whatever you need to do to continue feeling like you can make it
Because you will
Nov 2018 · 277
The women with no insides
Iz Nov 2018
I love you so much, I feel so empty without you here, like my whole being walked out with you and left my flesh rotting in this room
Nov 2018 · 230
Ash
Iz Nov 2018
Ash
Remember when we burned like sparked matches
We smoked and spread but in that blistering heat
I felt love
Nov 2018 · 93
Ugh
Iz Nov 2018
Ugh
I’ve listened to sicko mode
For an hour and a half now
And I still do NOT
feel as if I am on sicko mode
Yet
Nov 2018 · 79
Enough
Iz Nov 2018
I can’t remember when I stopped
Feeling like I was enough for you
I just know everything went cold
Nov 2018 · 99
Jagged
Iz Nov 2018
I like it rough
SO when you leave
I have something to
Say I felt
Nov 2018 · 519
Immortal
Iz Nov 2018
An extra seven years is
Added to my life
Everytime someone
Says
“I love your writing”
Iz Nov 2018
Metal
Gore grind
Alternative
Rap
I want to draw
As I flip through my colorful music selection on my phone I’ve been adding to for the past 7 years
I regret not painting my heart out of my chest
And drawing until my wrists shrivel up and fall off
All I do is write
And it’s
Never enough
I stuff myself into a shell
And refuse to get out
When will I be me again?
Nov 2018 · 76
Sad songs on empty roads
Iz Nov 2018
The radio is loud
The wind is touching me in ways it never had before
I am full
And traffic is nonexistent
It’s 10:26
I’m a little high
A lot drunk
My moms sleeping at home
If only she knew
This is the most I’ve felt in weeks
Maybe she would understand
I get nothing done
Because there’s nothing to work for
I’m numb
Nov 2018 · 96
Fulfillment
Iz Nov 2018
I gaze into your eyes
And suddenly
I
Am
Whole
Nov 2018 · 429
A four loko and a good time
Iz Nov 2018
I know I’ll always love you
Both of you
She is my other half
And you are my home
Our breath is one
Our bodies
Submissive to the chemsetry
We are one a temple of new hope
A trio of the gods picking
Nov 2018 · 237
Moo cat
Iz Nov 2018
He has the greenest eyes
That stare right into your soul
He strides on over melting his body onto the bed
Relaxed and unworried
I love this cool cat
Nov 2018 · 352
Roots in sand
Iz Nov 2018
To be a flower
In a desert
Is to have
Beauty
In the absence of eyes to
see it
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