I always wondered where her love went
It was like it was bled from her
A slit vein that ran dry
I was the only one that she gave it to
And I was young and greedy
And I think that I took it all
Used it up
A hungry pup nursing at the ****
And there was none left over for anyone else
She became withered and dry
And by the time her own children came
That love had been replaced by hate
Maybe it had just been killed
And that hate was like the darkness
That is already in a room
Just waiting for the light to be turned off
And then it takes over everything
It didn't help
That it had been infused with ****** along the way
Shot sweating late at night in a seedy room
Or in the parking lot behind the *******
But something had turned that love to hate
Solidified it in her veins
Until she was nothing
No voice
No heartbeat
Nothing
She became a statue
Just hard stone
And the sad part is that she had four babies
Who tried to nurse from her cold stone ***
And tried to get some of the love that I had
But it was long used up and gone
And they had to try and survive and live
With nothing to feed on but that cold hate
And they all survived for the most part
Except for Amber
Poor Amber
In the end, I think the hate finally got her

When I write, I am in my own world. An entire different world.
Putting this world into words to bring it to vitality , where the true me indepth exists.

My thoughts are my enemies, and overthinking is my best companion , joining along with my soul that ignited the two different worlds , as the world inside my head and the world where my unfortunate reality lays , are connected in those writings of mine.

Once I hold my pen, it seems like I could write endlessly for eternity.
The intellectual me is raging for more and more vitality , it's deeply intricate where my thoughts and those worlds meet.

But my thoughts are the biggest cravers for their freedom. And there, in my mind , I live and in words and letters , I expose my true inner self.

Why the hell people are being so judgemental , being so sarcastic about one appearance?

You do know that I'm a girl,
And if you judge me by my size,my look,
For sure I'm gonna be mad,
Because I'm a normal girl,
I don't have confidence in myself.

I know I'm fat,
I know I'm ugly,
I realize my flaws,
I know myself really well than you.
But you don't need to judge me by my appearance
Because it got nothing to do with your life!

No matter how fat I am, as fat as a hippo or even fatter,
That thing won't change your life!
IT WONT CHANGE YOUR ******* STUPID LIFE!
*******!

FROM NOW ON,
I WONT CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE TELL ME ABOUT HOW I LOOK BECAUSE ITS MY ******* LIFE AND I CAN BE WHO I WANNA BE AS LONG AS IM STILL ME AND ME.

AND TO ALL THE GIRLS OUT THERE,
LISTEN UP,
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,
SO BEAUTIFUL,
******* BEAUTIFUL
THAT NO ONE CAN REALIZE IT,
THAT IS WHY IT TAKES THE RIGHT GUY TO NOTICE AND THAT MR RIGHT , WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. BE PATIENCE, GOOD THINGS TAKES TIME.
DONT BE A FOOL BY TRYING TO BE PERFECT IN THOSE ******* EYES,
BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT BUT YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING.

I remember when you first told me when your birthday was. I remember because I told myself I would never forget the date, and I didn't. Not for a long time anyway. But then you left. I started to forget the colour of your eyes, the way your laugh sounded and the faces you used to pull, but I knew I stopped loving you when I forgot your birthday.

*djm

i dream of you
and i am thine
but when i wake up
you're never mine

*

the next time you
travel by plane
and you look at the
person beside you,
remember my sweaty
palm clenching yours
and my nervous squeezes
and how I kissed you
a thousand miles above
the water
among clouds
and how i slept on your
shoulder in the bus
afterwards
and ask yourself
if another
will walk into the
duty free and put on
expensive makeup
that she can't afford
and then kiss you
with blood-red
a-hundred-bucks
chanel lips.

you're not mine
but i'm not thine either
and it is your loss,
honey.

As soon as I have decided to smile
You breathe
Killing my joy

As soon as I have decided to laugh
You speak
Killing my humor

As soon as I have decided to dream
You botch
Killing my wonder

As soon as I have decided to change
Your heart beats
Killing my motivation