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You know depression is creeping in when...
Small things pick at you,
Everything starts to bother you.
Sadness begins to form,
Misery becomes the norm.
Smiles quickly disappear,
Anger moves up a gear.
Loneliness is preferred,
Thoughts become blurred.
Hasty judgements often occur,
Negativity you cannot deter.
Finally, it all becomes clear,
Death you no longer fear.

~ Zeenat Kaji
sounds like silence; aching to be filled.

smells like antiseptic; wanting to be clean.

tastes like tears; salty and weak.

looks like my darkened room; messy.

feels like nothing and everything all at once; numb and excruciating.
i really appreciate feedback!!
 Oct 2017 Eternal Suffering
Chér
don't you ever take
someone's sadness as a joke.

don't you ever dare
to play innocent when you're not.

don't you ever try
to call yourself a friend without acting like one.
 Oct 2017 Eternal Suffering
Zara
At some point we all ask ourselves
why we do exist,
Why life keeps going on and on
until we are dismissed.

We try to create a meaning,
to the meaningless of it all,
A meaning that will help us up,
when life will make us fall.

"You have to make the most of it"
is what people say,
The most of school, the most of work
the most of every day.

The days build up to years
and time will pass us by,
We'll soon begin to wonder
if life just is a lie.

We lie when we are buying
those things we never desired,
We lie when we are living,
when all we are is tired.

Our smiles keeps fading more and more,
our laughs are never real,
We keep on dreaming of love,
yet sorrow is all we feel.

When we get old and tired
waiting  to be dismissed,
That's the time we'll question,
if we ever did exist.
I love you.

I don’t know who you are,
but I know you’re reading this.
I know it hurts and I know that it feels endless.
I know “hurts” is the wrong word, because you’re dying.
You feel like you already died.
Because you can’t accept that you’re living,
Because living is hell.

I won’t tell you it’ll get better.
I won’t tell you you’ll be alright.
Because you may never be better,
You may never be alright.

What I will say,

Is that I know what you’re going through
And that I love you for it.

Is that you are infinitely beautiful,
No matter what others say or how they look at you.

Is that your value is greater than the entire universe.

Is that you are the strongest person I know,
Because no one has ever fought as hard as you have.

Is that I would die for your happiness,
Because it kills me to see you suffer.

Don’t give up,
Even if you already have.
Because You are the reason that I’m alive.

Love,
A Survivor like you.
#WorldMentalHealthDay
 Oct 2017 Eternal Suffering
kylie
you come back now, asking why i’m so different. i could answer with over a million reasons but we both know there’s only one.

you sit there, acting like it wasn’t your fault. you took my heart, my mind, and my soul with you that day you left. do you remember that day?

now you sit here, heartless, telling me, “you’ve changed.”

you’re pathetic, i want to whisper. instead i shake my head with a playful smile on my lips.

“i don’t know. i suppose time.”
 Oct 2017 Eternal Suffering
Middy
You can't take it
You can't live with it
The pain is too much
The kids at school
They keep hurting you
Or maybe it was your father
Maybe your mother
Maybe they're both dead
Like how you will be soon
Maybe you're in love with abusers
Maybe you are simply sad
But either way
You can't take it anymore

You take a rope from the attic
You grab a gun from the cuboard
You steal a knife from the kitchen
You're at the bridge over the river
You're on a railway with a train
Wherever you are
Whatever you have
It doesn't matter now

You take a rope from the attic
The kids at school
They taunt you and laugh
They say they wish you were dead
Well their wish is coming true
You're suffocating
You're silent
You're gone

You grab a gun from the cuboard
Safety is off
You're in your room
You whisper a goodbye
To the father who hurt you
To the brother who loves you
BANG
The shot can be heard for miles
You're gone

You steal a knife from the kitchen
Your mother's prying eyes
Who breaks your heart
With hateful words
You're in your bathroom
You hold the knife to your wrist
Your lifeline is bleeding out
The blood is on the white floor
You're gone

You're on a bridge
There's a cold and fast flowing
River of tears and sorrow
Your mother is gone
Your father is gone
Time for you to go
You leave your other family
Who are grieving with you
You jump
You fall
You're gone

You're at a railway with a train
Ready to hit you with pain
It wouldn't be the driver's fault
It was the abuser
You thought loved you
But you were wrong
You are hit by the train
It stops with your broken heart
You're gone

Where is the rope burn?
It burns your parents
They weep and wail
They lost their child
They're sunk into a sea of sadness
They read the note
They beg dear god above
" why were we not enough? "

Who did you shoot?
Your brother's chest
He's staring silently
At his sibling's dead body
As he stutters and sobs
He wonders
" why was I not enough? "

Who was stabbed?
Why your sister
She doesn't know who to talk to
She doesn't know who can help
As she screams for the neighbors
As your heartbeat stops
" why was I not enough? "

Who drowned?
The family you left behind
Your uncle is silent
Your aunt is shocked
Your cousins, your grandparents
They cant believe it
" why were we not enough? "

Where is the wound?
It bleeds in your friends' hearts
No matter how many you have
Or rather had
They can't stop crying
They can't stop thinking
" why were we not enough? "

Your name is in the papers
You're on the front covers
The world is full of tears
The news reporter is upset
There's a book with your name
There's ****** roses on your grave
Marked with your name

You stop
You think
You put away the rope
You put the gun back
You replace the knife
You walk away from the bridge
You run off the railway
You hide your tears in the rain
But you think
Think, think.
Maybe you can live one more day
Or two days, three days,
Four days, five days, six days
A week or two
A month or more
A year or so
Maybe forever
You won't take away the pain by killing yourself. All you'll do is pass it on
People care, I promise they do.
If no one does, I do.
Being suicidal doesn't mean i'm going to **** myself

Being suicidal is having this unexplicable ache while you're living

It's waiting for your life to end, and wishing you didn't have to carry on

Having this ache, an incapability to feel happy living, doesn't mean that I am going to **** myself -

It just means I wouldn't mind dying.
For you
           I
                   f
                    e
                      l
                        l

L    o    n     g
And hard

But for some reason

I wasn’t expecting
To be
              b       o       e
                   r       k      n

When the
                    f
                      a
                        l
                          l
                            i
                             n
                               g
Was over
And I
           hit
The ground.
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