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 Dec 2018 Diary of Jane
he is so unaware
so lost in his impressions
he doesn’t have a clue
about the gravity
the captivation
the tension
pulsing and pulling
between his universe
and mine
My heart lay bleeding at my feet
I stare as you tear it apart.
I stagger back as you take your walk alone.

You say you're off balance,
So I go and the sides are even again.
You won't miss me when I'm gone.

You were my best friend and more.
I still want to be your friend, too.
But I need time to heal my heart.

You're not really gone, but to me you are and I miss you.
And I know you're not coming back.
So I'll see you around and we'll say hello.

I try, but can't put into words:
The sound of my heart shattering
The sight of the permanently gray skies etched into my mind
The feeling of your arms... I'll never feel again
The scent of the tears on my face
And the taste of them in my mouth

But my senses are numb.
I notice these things, but don't really feel them.
Isn't it tragic?
 Nov 2018 Diary of Jane
you may have loved me
but I was in love with you
so what you didn’t see
was you breaking my heart in two.
 Nov 2018 Diary of Jane
 Nov 2018 Diary of Jane
Why live, only to die?

Why love, when alone I'll die?

Why laugh, only to watch others cry?

Why cut, when blood will dry?
 Nov 2018 Diary of Jane
how do u get rid of the shadow above your head
the constant sorrow
the imaginary rope around your neck

struggle to let go of things latched on you
the mismatched
consequences you weren't heading to

this sweet desperation
this inevitable struggle
im looking for myself everyday
with disgrace
in every face

like a wildfire
its spreading in my soul
the darkness and the glitter
the good and the evil

im standing right here
looking down this road
threw my heart in the ocean
it made me weary and old

they believe what they're told
dont bother to look
behind the curtain
where the tenderness folds
the screams get so loud
it makes you cold
 Nov 2018 Diary of Jane
B Nelson
 Nov 2018 Diary of Jane
B Nelson
What a day today turned out to be
The near future I wish I could see
I feel so lost, so alone and betrayed
In your presence today I felt afraid

All your truths turned out to be lies
You did all the things that lovers despise
Was there ever a time, I plea
When you really truly loved me
 Oct 2018 Diary of Jane
I thought I was fine,
But as I find,
I have A Sick Mind.
 Oct 2018 Diary of Jane
I’m just an option for you.
When you’re lonely and blue
When you feel like no one knows you.
But when you feel okay
When she’s making you feel like a sunny day
You just slowly shake me off
And fade away.
I feel it in my bones.
You don’t have to say anything.
I won’t keep making myself look dumb by being one-sidedly persistent.
For all the faults and mistakes I’ve made
At least I’m consistent.
in the last throes,
we were chained by bonds of my imaginings
as I tried to drag you forwards
and you were an immovable object
until the shackles broke
and the scales fell from my eyes
and I realised
you were moving too
but in the opposite direction
and I’d just been too blind to see.
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