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Ryan Hoysan Oct 2017
This poem is originally written by my favorite poet, Charles Bukowski. .

they're not going to let you
sit at a front table
at some cafe in Europe
in the mid-afternoon sun.
if you do, somebody's going to
drive by and
spray your guts with a
submachine gun.

they're not going to let you
feel good
for very long
anywhere.
the forces aren't going to
let you sit around
*******-off and
relaxing.
you've got to go
their way.

the unhappy, the bitter and
the vengeful
need their
fix - which is
you or somebody
anybody
in agony, or
better yet
dead, dropped into some
hole.

as long as there are
humans about
there is never going to be
any peace
for any individual
upon this earth or
anywhere else
they might
escape to.

all you can do
is maybe grab
ten lucky minutes
here
or maybe an hour
there.

something
is working toward you
right now, and
I mean you
and nobody but
you.
I came across this poem in a book of his poems and I discovered it wasn't on this site. As it is very relevant to my life right now I thought to share it with the rest of the community. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Messages and comments are welcome as always.
  Oct 2017 Ryan Hoysan
Mims
The girl you met at a party
And bonded with over how your father's are *******,
And which year you wanted to **** yourselves.

Who, you would laugh with
But never date
Not just because she's gay,
But because her anxiety is crazy,
Like yours.

You will talk about beer
And she will notice that boys with drunk families either love
Or hate the stuff

She will see you growing older
Becoming a drunk like your father
And watching your potential
Go down the drain

Because you tell her how you missed 80 days of school
And they can't technically expel you
Because you had a doctors note for your anxiety
She tells you how she didn't learn anything in 6th grade
Except which pills to take
To numb her brain

She will hold your hand while you run down a hill
Away from the other 'normal' kids,
For quiet.

She will grab your shoulder when you tell her you punched a brick wall till your fingers broke
And tell you "buddy, get some better coping mechanisms"

You'll talk about beer again
And she'll talk about how flowers make her angry

You'll play truth or dare
With normal kids
And you will get defensive of her

Why did you get defensive of me
So quickly

Is it because I was vulnerable with you?

Is it because I hugged you when you left and told you

If your father ever hits you again

Call the ******* cops.

Is it because you see you in me?

Is it because I am the healthy now you strive to be

If she could keep you alive a little longer
She would show you all the songs she wrote for you

"I wish I knew you in 8th grade
Because I would've never let you near that belt in the first place"

You say you're happy you didn't **** yourself, because now you have her.

She talks to you everyday
And her dark comedy flies through
Stupid movie quotes

With her
You talk about the future
Like something you look forward to,
Not like a fairy tale your mother told you,
Before you knew what scars looked like,
Before you knew the color of your blood.
I care about you.
  Oct 2017 Ryan Hoysan
Lost Boy
I can't believe
I left you..
The only thing I'd ever loved
For someone else
Who couldn't compare to you.
She has the long hair
And the prettiest face
But no intellect
Nor any grace.
I miss how you would
Live in the moment.
Because all she does
Is post every second online.
I miss our late roof-top talks
Because all she ever does is whine.
I miss your laugh
I miss your smile
I miss your realness
And every inch of your beautiful body
Because now I'm with someone
Who's too shallow to feel love
All because
I was too scared to love you
front page 2/17/18
  Sep 2017 Ryan Hoysan
Starr Bright
Take a walk with me
through my dreams
I’ll show you a love
you’ve never seen.

A heart that will love you
more than you know
a heart given to you
a very long time ago.

Someone who sees you
for all that you are
someone who wished
for you, upon a star.

A heart that will give you
everything I am
a heart willing to walk with you
through an unknown land.

Someone who sees you
for all that you are
someone who will stay
by your side, and kiss every scar.

Take a walk with me
come follow my dreams
I’ll show you my love
what my love really means.
  Sep 2017 Ryan Hoysan
helena alexis
if a poet falls in
love with you be
prepared to be
written about

in every possible way
from the way your eyes
sparkle under the moon

to how your lips form
that ever-so perfect smile
it’s the little things that
poets write about

the little things about you
makes a poet want to write
and write until their hand breaks
Ryan Hoysan Sep 2017
I want you in all of my life
From the extraordinary
To the extra-ordinary
Just thought of this on the fly and I went with it, nothing to grand.
  Sep 2017 Ryan Hoysan
spysgrandson
I wanna have lunch with Poe,
at Burger King,

because I'm sure he would appreciate how ghoulish that King in their commercial is

I don't want him to recite verse
while we fill our medium cups with corn syrup nectar--a giant leap
down from laudanum

I do want to ask about the Cask of Amontillado and being walled in slowly, for eternity

for to me that is creepier than all the crimson cream in the Masque of the Red Death

I want to know if he likes the fries--will he dare to dip them in scarlet paste we call catsup

mostly I want to know if he remembers the alley where he was found,

not yet a legend, consumed by consumption and delirium in equal measure

and if there were rodents privileged to hear his last whispered words--or even a gasp

I am buying, Ed, so grab that Whopper with both bony paws and tell me terrible tales, evermore
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