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Carmella Rose Nov 2019
you were that certain coffee that i couldn’t resist
that smell i swear i’m addicted to
you were a sin that i was always ready to commit
i’m a sinner, you’re all the crucials
vicious things i’m going to do
i’m the holy person, who became the devil
in denial of facts that satisfied me
and when i wake up in the morning
i keep grasping for air
because i know you’re just a dream i’m chasing
it’s hard everyday you’d be here
then the other you’d be gone
i don’t know when or how long
should i wait, i said i’ve moved on
but no, i still lose self control
everything still becomes a temptation
when it comes to you
every nerve on my body shivers
i tried to forget you
with all these alcohol, pills, and boys
that i’ve played with
but nothing was the best like you
you’re the reason why love is sweet
and why love is a bitter misfortune
you’ve locked me with forever
and left me like i was dust
thank you for the scar
forever in love with you
I do not know if this is goodbye, but I hope I see you again. || November 24th
Carmella Rose Nov 2019
and when it rained of love, god stormed you to me, then took you again by the sun.
i loved you truly my friend, it’s just that everything didn’t work out, but i hope you’re happy and well; to the first boy that made me feel butterflies in my stomach, and who made me wanna wake up from these miseries, i love u until now but i’ll only love you from afar.
Carmella Rose Jul 2019
you were the most beautiful devil
that hell has sent me
darling you were the best
you were the ******* pain
that i’ll always want
that i’d rather be miserable
than lose you all over again
but now you are gone
and i’m just an angel lost in earth
don’t know where to find your smile
don’t know where to find your voice
your scent, your figure, your laughs
i don’t know where it is anymore
when i walk to the old places i feel cold
when i come back to our conversations
i feel warmth, i feel love
and all sorts of butterfly in my stomach
and if heart is a puzzle, i’d be incomplete
i’d be just a standing piece waiting for you
to complete the voids that you’ve patched up
from the sweet words
to the affectionate gestures
i’ll be honest missing you
is killing me, and letting you go made me die
everyday tears run down my cheeks
sunlights don’t shine anymore
rain hits me, and then
i was strucked by the lightning of sorrows
i kept coming closer to your fire
but where are you?
where the hell am i suppose to look?
should go back?
no one’s going to replace you,
the first pain of thy heart
the first of everything in fifteen,
you were not my regret
but you were my rotten daisy
forever remembered but thrown away in the ocean
but always remember that wherever you are
i always think about how happy we were
but it’s such a loss,
that our fate is parallel,
only strangers that met but never really cross.
—and i’ll wait for you to come back, as long as i can.
Carmella Rose Apr 2019
days have past but the scar of the past keeps growling of pain
tomorrow tells me another hope by thy sacrifice is made by
illusions of good days have already vanished and the worse is yet to come
the beast inside of me shelters the weakness of my fear
tell me how? how does a girl fight a demon of depression when all she has are swords to inflict self-harm
how does a girl forget anxiety when everything triggers the memories
i shall keep you away dear lover who have made me vulnerable and forced me to build walls made by blood
i do not want to be heartless but he took it away, he took it all the way leaving me with nothing
leaving me by a smile i will always despise
tell me was it good, to turn my body a volcano then rush out to make it alaska
you’ve turned me hot but left me cold
you’ve become my foundation but now you’re my destroyer
i love to hate you, but that thought is just an imagination
all i could feel is the truth that you have been the worse and i have been the ashes
Carmella Rose Dec 2018
i create lightning
i burn through your pavements
and i reach for the crown
make me smile, make me laugh
make me angry and
i’ll tear you apart

shades of violence in my eyes
darkness it shows
my smile becomes lethal
and my words became fatal

trapped onto the lies
now it all comes by
kneel before your queen
or bleed upon your skin

i’ll be back before the dawn
and when solstice come
the world rise red

they forced me to change
now get ready for this rage
for I am a diamond, beautiful
and unbreakable
sorry not sorry words do shed sorrow, i’m glad i’m better stronger and back from the grave, people will not break me anymore, be strong and you’ll rule the world.
Carmella Rose Dec 2018
trapped in your delusions
sadness is it you
anger is it you
no, no—i’m anxiety says it
i’m your ego
the reality of truths
the pains of sorrows
the excruciating hell
is this how we part ways?
like the moon says goodbye to the sun
memories will be my joyful thoughts
i’m sorry i left
i’ll be back and fix everything
when i’m okay
though our eyes met
and i could’ve sworn there
was an electricity
the ocean rushing down your cheeks
the storms that clouds your mind
mi amore, tell me
you’ll be happy without me
be free like the bird you are
and maybe someday we’ll meet
and i could caress your lips again
connect the stars on your body
make you whole again
i love you forever.
we were so in love yet these thoughts were unreal.
Carmella Rose Sep 2018
is it bad that i like you?
when you’re with someone else
it’s a sin when you smile
i fell so much more every single day
oh i hope you’ll know
it hurts like hell
when i could only look at you
from afar
seeing your eyes glisten
my feelings are truly
colored red mixed with yours
then turned purple
and i was like this from the day
can’t i have a place in your heart?
but every time we look at each other
i feel there’s a connection
i feel that you know it too
the blank face
where your eyes only show
desire
but you can’t
cause you’re trapped
in a different heart
and it’s too much to take in
so i’ll blend
in the stars and
just be shining
at least you’ll
see me
every night
looking at me
mesmerizing the shine,
i like you so much
nothing could mend
the pain
inside
me.
it’s sad that i couldn’t even touch you, so i’ll give up forever.
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