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Bobcat May 2018
I'm just a number,
Put me in the back.
One of these days,
I swear I'll ******* snap.

Always keeping it in,
Forever pushing it down.
One day I'll strike this match
And burn this place to the ground.

Empathy is a curse,
A color I wear well.
I'm sick of always wondering
How other people feel.

I don't take care of myself,
I just bury my own bone.
I'm always there for everyone
But I'm always left alone.

It's not fair ya know,
I always do my best.
Maybe someone does care
But I'm ignored by the rest.

My feelings don't matter,
My heart has been hurting.
Every time I open up
I'm treated as a burden.

Everyday gets better,
**** I wish that was true.
Another minute goes by
And I just feel more blue

I have no patience left.
I really just want to leave.
If tomorrow I'll be gone
Would you even miss me?
Bobcat May 2018
I finally figured it out
How to get up there pre-death.
I crawled my way up to you
Without leaving my own bed.

I tried to break you out
But they wouldn't let you leave.
I tried to break you out
To bring you home with me.

I got kicked out of heaven
No they won't let me back.
They said if I ever tried again
To prepare myself for attack.

I'll go back everyday
If I had the slightest chance.
I would play their little games
And I would dance their little dance.

You may call me selfish
Cause I know that you're safe.
But you took apart of me
That I can never replace.

I tried to break you out
But you didn't want to leave.
I tried to break you out
But you made a home there without me.
  May 2018 Bobcat
SMN
you see,
that’s the problem
with being the strong one
who always offers others
a hand
everyone thinks that you
don’t need a hand and
they think you have lots
of surplus energy and no
worries

*(s.m)
Bobcat May 2018
I don't have very long,
Will you tell me that you need me?
There's something wrong,
I know you see right through me.

I try my best,
But those intentions were lost.
A burning flame,
On a candle wick that's been gone.

It's becoming clear,
That my simple words are useless.
If I just disappeared,
Would you say it's me that you miss?

Please lie to me,
Just to try and save face.
I know you're already gone.
I know that I was too late.

I'll soon be gone,
But you won't be sorry.
My back holds your knife,
In my heart it's burried.

I'll take a drink,
In the morning I'll regret it.
The words I spill,
"I think it's time to forfeit."

I'll haunt your dreams,
But not as a ghost or a spirit.
You'll see my grave,
And you'll know that I meant it.

I'll see you around,
In your hometown in hell.
I'll be burning alive,
All because in love I fell.
Bobcat May 2018
I spent
My last $20
On you.
I hope
You like
What I got you.

I know
They're not
The nicest ones there,
But I,
Wanted to show
That I was thinking bout you.

I know that,
Times have been
Tough for you,
And I
Know that this
Wont make everything right.
But I've been thinking bout you.

And with
Every petal that falls
I hope you
Know that it's
Every thought I have bout you.

Yes I
I love you.
Bobcat May 2018
I don't like my brain today.
It's bringing me down,
In more than one way.
It doesn't really matter
What anyone will say.

I really don't know why,
I always feel this way.
When it starts to get cold,
And the sky turns grey.

I don't want to be here today.
I tell my co-worker,
As he slowly walks away.
He agrees with me,
But knows not what I say

Please beg me to stay.
I need to feel wanted,
When I feel castaway.
Even though I won't listen,
Please tell me anyway.

Do I need to give you a reason,
Or a list to display?
I'm not sure I have the answer,
Cause my mind won't obey.

I wish my brain would decay.
I want to smell it rot,
In my bed I will lay.
Until I try to speak,
And no words will relay.

What else can I say?
Nothing really new I guess,
I don't wanna burden you today.
I'll shut my mouth now,
And just pretend I'm okay.
Bobcat Apr 2018
If you're not careful you can get lost in the woods of your mind.
My piece of advice would be to bring with you a guide.

Someone to hold your hand and walk you through.
So that if something is lurking you have someone to hold onto.

Make sure the person you bring is trustworthy.
That they'll stick around when it starts to get scary.

Things go bump in the night and more-so in these woods.
Those are your demons and often misunderstood.

They won't hurt you, no not even a scratch.
But they'll turn you against yourself, watch and sit back.

Don't bring a weapon, no don't even try to strike.
You'll end up cutting your wrists with the blade of your own knife.

If you have to go alone because you're left with no choice.
Clinch your fists, close your eyes and follow your own voice.

Please heed my lecture as I've been there before.
I've gotten myself so lost that I still can't find the door.
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