When I was 10 my mum Told me that
I was special
The Next day was the First time
she told me to shut up
When I was 14 my Friends told me that
I was funny
The Next day I Heard them laugh about me
And when I was 16
You told me I was beautiful
You told me you loved me
You told me you would do anything for me
But I did not believe you
Because I learnt that people don't mean
What they say
And I did not want to get disappointed again

Razor blade cuts
Aren't enough 
Deep gashes 
Ashes to ashes 
Pour salt in my wounds 
I'd only burn for you
People say that its crazy
I think it is maybe 
But I'd give anything 
For her to be my lady

©2017 Written By Benji James

Just give me a minute

To catch my breath

Girl don't move too far ahead
Slow down, Take it easy

Just take a moment

To consume these feelings

There is nothing else in the world

I would rather do 

Then spend the rest of time

Loving you
I'll lay these rose petals

On your bed

And when our eyes connect

Let me lie you down and love you

©2017 Written By Benji James

Look who's back 
with a lyrical attack
One to divide all nations 
But I'm trapped in a game
Where I can't even make a name
Isn't it a shame 
Still looking for someone to blame
What's the reason 
that keeps me from making music
Guess it's time I came to claim 
What is rightfully mine 
I've been down a hard road
A bandit in time
And holding me back 
That's is a crime
By the grace of God
I've got to give all I've got
And maybe that isn't a lot
But you think that will stop me
I think not
I had to come back
With brand new tactics
Cuz lets face it 
I've let this go on for far too long
And to not do anything 
would just be wrong 
It's time to build an army 
Come back strong 
Cuz I've been waiting 
For a moment for far too long 
Yep guess I got it going on now
Anticipation is starting to build 
And I may not have much *** appeal
But that doesn't mean 
I can't make you squeal 
Say my name, 
ain't no more chains
Holding me down
Got my gun reloaded
Back for another round
And maybe you scratched 
my name In the side
Of a piece of shrapnel 
Try break my pride
Think I give a **** what you think 
**** life's not bliss
Living on the edge of a knife like this
come along for a ride 
Inside of my mind 
Come through the darkness, blind
That's not enough to keep me 
Off of my grind
The stars realigned 
For a person with passion 
I'm back on the rise 
No natural disaster can stop me
No bullet can **** me 
No razor blade cuts will scar me 
Sometimes things cut deep
But I'm impenetrable 
After everything I've been through 
Won't burn through the pages
Don't lie, you know I'm dangerous 
Not afraid to dance on the tables
Cuz I've been through it all
Ain't nothing gonna phase me no more

©2017 Written By Benji James

I feel comfort in the familiarity
Of being lost
Peculiar in its irony
Its definition reversed by my falling in love
With the freedom of not being found
Sometimes it's more peaceful
Living quietly without the sound
Of homesickness in your ear
Eyes wistfully on the clouds
Thoughts pondering in head
Soft promises vowed
To a place not seen again
It feels to me like exciting exploration
Sights locked in mind
All these complex illustrations
Of trees, streams, crumbling walls
That otherwise would of went unseen
All these beautiful kingdoms
Adorned by the falling leaves
Of this year's autumn
How could I not fall for that?

There are dark times
In periods of our life
Where we don't want to be alive
And sometimes there's a sorrow
You just can't shake
Sometimes there's a doubt
That just won't fade
And you try your best to take
Each day as it comes
But you can't help contemplate
Your future and it seems
Like you aren't moving anywhere
Yeah that's the way it feels
Your body feels heavier
Your head feels full
And you can't process information
The way you used to
Negativity is your new vibe
You feel you'll never achieve
Anything within this life.

©2017 Written By Benji James

sounds like silence; aching to be filled.

smells like antiseptic; wanting to be clean.

tastes like tears; salty and weak.

looks like my darkened room; messy.

feels like nothing and everything all at once; numb and excruciating.