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 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Bows N' Arrows
The urge to merge to the
Source of power
This light
That joyfully encourages the
Flowers to grow
Earth's veins like the river flows
Greater than my guilt or
My insecurities
This light only believes in
What's beautiful in me
I tried so often to call it by name
And realized it lacking as if
No words could explain of what
I was conceiving
It's a what and a why
A mystery to sense at night
While trying to sleep
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Bows N' Arrows
Having you, holding you
Teething you, loosing you
Like I knew I would
Beholded you, breathed you
Shaking you to notice me
Your scents gone but
Your voice lingers in the
Quiet of my room when
I'm alone.
My vision came true
I lost a piece of myself to you
And where you go it goes too
You're like my cat I can't
Replace and
I know I'll never know
The sensation of
You again only the dysphoria
Of your absence still...
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Bows N' Arrows
This feeling that I'm a zombie
And my mind is burning down
It's like my cruise control is on
And I regret all I've become
Till I've turned my darkness into
Light
And all my sheets are bleached
White
Talking to myself when I'm alone
It's never quite enough I'm
Unconscious of all my blind-spots
I always feel like a restless one
When I've spoken all my cups
And I've dranken all my thoughts
Thinking about the past and
How it used to be
I still catch chills when I drive
Through the sleet and ice but
I smile anyway
Like a bruise that never heals
With more years under my feet
I've got this spark in the dark
And I'm not quitting what
I started though this life isn't
What I pictured-
Wasn't what I wanted it to be
No I'm not giving up I've
Got this spark in the dark
Destiny awaits to be defined
There are no set lines
It's all a state of mind
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Bows N' Arrows
You speak like willow wise
Briefly about your dream
You had descended on spider
Satin to the
Land of the dead and remained
After eating a pomegranate
Seed.
Siren finned and black eyed
Combing your long silver locks
With the bone of a sailor
Who crashed upon the sea rocks
Now queen of the dead
A maiden once
Beloved kindred
We mourn like winter over our
Loss of your tender touch
We're a dismembered brood.
Spinning an old violin
Humming a music-box carol
Spinning pale blue spinning to
The oceans tune
Triumphantly swinging to
Eternal slumber in a sleepy
Melancholy
Chthonic mistress weaving hymns
For the dead
Lullabies for flickering-by souls
To march to in purgatory
Haunted carousel with thrones
Made of coral and seashell
Pleasing is your disguise
Fleeting like a butterfly
Over a frosted lake
Kissing the blue flowers
Wilting as they weep
Your dreams sound like
Christmas lights
Glazed Luna visions
Redeemer of the night
Guiding souls to caves
Gateways to the underworld
Bedecked in starshine
Howling from the entrance
Beseeching a worthy weight
To add to a library of ghosts
Wandering from the night
Jade necklace on a sinewy neck
Powdered-chalky scent in dew drop
Dusk
Absinthe spilled on a vanity set
An old China vase cracked at the
Spout
Halos of oleander
Eyes dilated
***** sips on a gentle decay
The shades block out the day
The paper lanterns shine luminous
Rays of lavender
Across lips curvaceous
And rosy
Cooing at each other with limbs
Dripped in nectar
From a divine waterfall
Outside a window a
Nocturnal wanderer on the street
Of stone carrying a lantern to mourn
His widow home
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Bows N' Arrows
Summer creases
Memories in pieces
Undisturbed lullabyes
Drifting away
Earthquake wide awake
Moving in sound dancing
Not in the air but on the ground
Stained pages drip's of
Sages drink spilled
On letters not in ink
But lead
Keeping starshine
Wears it on my sleeve
Catches my collar
And so you leave
It sounds like a beach
Nights without sleep
Stayed awake
Grazing memories within
My mind's eye
I'm in love with my sadness
We have an affair
On again
Off again
But it lingers in the still air
Still there, Budweiser
Oh nicotine!
What wars with white sails
And blue oceans were fought for
You, Marlboro
Only to give me headaches
California
California
California

( Don't talk, speak )
The need to move
That need to sit still
Periforate the fabric of
My design

It brings me to tears
Some nights
Thinking about those highway
Roads and street signs

Miss the ocean
I miss the pier
Miss the salt in the air
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Bria Grimm
You can just tell
Yah know?

We speak in rhythms,
Passionate, fortified rhythms but
often misaligned.

I won't be blind to our truth, no
but don’t expect me to bask in some
Wonderland.

Defective perfection,
A ghastly unfortunate paradox and
A laden aura unlike any other.

My soul aches to ripen
so very desperately
But this love has taken it’s
Toll.
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Bria Grimm
All I’ll have is comfort in regularity
They will have adorable laughs
Unfamiliar smells
Novelty.

All I’ll have are years under my belt
They will have moments floating in question
Battering what-ifs
Possibilities.

All I’ll have is this skin that grows old
They’ll have a irresistible softness
New parts
Youth.

All I’ll have is unconditional love
They’ll have the luring atmosphere of excitement
New found ****** arousals
Lust.

All I have is me,
and that’ll never measure up to
*Temptation.
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Bria Grimm
When he kissed me, I thought he’d conquer the parts of him too much like his mother.
I thought he’d lose the pieces of militant voices inside his head on the curves of my hips.
I think he was trying to bury himself in me…
I know that I let him.
He punctuated every apology with the same melancholy mitigation.
Like a true addict, I told him that was enough.

It wasn’t.
It still isn’t
but I always miss him.
He helped  build my heart from scratch,
and I will always love him.
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Bria Grimm
With turbid minds
And mercurial hearts,
One must never forget
To stay close to a flame
That burns to warm
Opposed to burning to
End.
In this life, there are sources that warm us and guide us. On the contrary, there are sources that are selfishly driven and would have no problem burning  us and everything else to ashes.
 Dec 2015 Carrillo
Bria Grimm
The birds paint ribbons in this evening's sky,
and the sun sets the ruby canvas.
A breeze of fresh air brushes past us,
and the salty tint of the ocean is present.
Here in your arms,
spread out across the mounds of sand,
your fingers float amongst my skin.
Back and forth,
back and forth.
Matching the exact rhythm of the sea.
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